Bees with a long commute, how do you manage it?

By MrsADS Feb 15, 2014

So, I commute about 2 hours a day in my car. I'm a lawyer for a nonprofit. I generally like my job, but the commute is killing me. A lot of it is stop and go traffic. I feel like by the time I get home (6-6:30 ish), I am totally fried and in a horrible mood from dealing with the traffic. And it's so hard to get stuff done at home (laundry, cook dinner, exercise). I feel like it's making me grumpy and horrible with DH. We are hopefully starting TTC soon, and I do not know how I am going to be able to manage this pregnant or certainly with a little one.

I know some of you have horrible commutes, too. How do you manage it? I just feel like it's ruining my day and making me miserable.

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8 comments

mrbee
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts

Feb 15, 2014

@MrsADS: Have you tried audiobooks or podcasts? They really help the time melt away!!
delight
pomelo / 5326 posts

Feb 15, 2014

@MrsADS: Long commutes suck, I totally hear you. I commute 2-3 hours each day, depending on which school I'm at that day. Thankfully I drive back country roads so there is no stop and go traffic for me. I usually don't mind my drive to work, I enjoy my coffee and listen to my satellite radio, but the drive home is hard when I'm tired and just want to be home. I'm on mat leave right now and I imagine it's going to be harder to commute now that I have a child.

Our situations sound a little different though because I'm usually home by 4 pm. If I was getting home at 6/6:30 I don't think I could do it, especially not with children. Do you have other options at all? I could suggest some good books on tape, but I don't think those a re going to lift your spirits much
MrsADS
nectarine / 2262 posts

Feb 15, 2014

Yeah, I listen to podcasts. That helps a little with the actual time in the car, but not so much with my horrible mood by the time I get home.

I guess I just want to complain. I hate my commute!!! LOL.
Corduroy
pomelo / 5258 posts

Feb 15, 2014

DH and I both had 70-90 min commutes home the first 8 months we had LO. You find a way to make it work and learn to make that time your "me" time.

I had to shift my schedule from 8-5 to 7:30-4:30 to make it home by the time day care closed. Finding day care with long hours close to home was key for us. I can't imagine having LO in bumper to bumper traffic for that long every day.

We moved a few months ago and it has been a big stress relief for us.
lavender
grapefruit / 4554 posts

Feb 15, 2014

I have a 1.5 hr commute each way and the best solution was to take the train to work instead of driving. I'm now able to read or take a quick nap instead of stressing about traffic. Is that an option for you?
bisous
persimmon / 1304 posts

Feb 15, 2014

I moved a little closer to my job, but used to spend at least 2 hours commuting everyday in stop and go traffic. I totally feel your pain.

My commute is shorter now but still often stop and go. Is there anyway you can shift your hours so you are not driving in the peak of rush hour? Where we live now, I have to leave at 4:30 or earlier to beat the rush-but I also know people who leave even earlier, but have made a commitment to work from 9-10:30 pm to make up for it. Not ideal, but with their childcare situations it is necessary.
gingerblonde
cherry / 184 posts

Feb 15, 2014

I'm in a very similar situation to you. My husband and I both commute 2+ hours each day. While we both like our jobs, and I truly do appreciate my alone-time with my books, the commute has taken a huge toll on our energy levels and our moods. It's hard to stay motivated to keep active after work when you feel defeated by your day every single evening.

We are in the predicament of having a commute if we want to have a house with plenty of space, rent we can afford, a yard for the dog, etc. Moving closer to work would mean paying a LOT more and sacrificing other things that we feel we need. I am due in May, and currently plan to return to work only 2 days a week after leave. I'm not sure I could handle the commute much more than that, once the baby is born.

I guess I don't have any great tips for you, just lots of empathy! I think it's great that you recognize the commute is factoring into your moods and awareness is always the first step. Best of luck in whatever you decide!!
MrsADS
nectarine / 2262 posts

Feb 15, 2014

Thanks all. I really feel for you guys that have longer commutes. Taking a train/public transit is not an option, it doesn't exist here.

I appreciate all your empathy! Makes me feel better that I am not alone!! Right now, I have to work 9-5 hours, but I really wish I could shift to 8-4 or even 7-3. I would have to get up earlier, but it would be better. I think getting home earlier would help a LOT. Right now, I get home late-ish and I'm just toast after the traffic and the day and it's wearing on me and DH.

I've only been at this job a year, so I'm not sure if I'm in a position yet to request different hours. I do occasionally work from home (like once every 2 months), but I don't think I can do it on a regular basis because of the nature of my job.

After we have a baby, I'd love to go PT like 3 days a week and shift the hours those days to 7:30-3:30 or something like that. Although I sort of doubt they would allow that.

So we'll see. Right now I just feel like maybe I need to be more disciplined after I get home so I can get stuff done, but it's hard. DH works 5 minutes away so he doesn't really get it. He has actually told me that he would rather have me just quit my job so we can have more time together during the week.

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Bees with a long commute, how do you manage it?

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