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Being called in to HR

  1. cmomma17

    honeydew / 7811 posts

    @Mrs. High Heels: thanks for being angry for me! I am on the east coast, in Virginia. Very close to Washington DC. I know one woman who returned to work and pumped for a full year. I am going to ask her tomorrow about her experience, we are in the same division,
    I want to find more pumping moms too, to see what has been required of others. HR wouldn't tell me anything when I asked.

  2. cmomma17

    honeydew / 7811 posts

    @T.H.O.U.: thank you for the suggestion of three pumping sessions instead of lunch. I'll keep that option in mind.

  3. cmomma17

    honeydew / 7811 posts

    @mrsmate: thank you for sharing that link. It was a little disheartening. hopefully things don't go that far.

  4. dagret

    grapefruit / 4235 posts

    I don't have any advice - just wanted to tell you good luck. That is so incredibly frustrating that your boss isn't supportive and that bf'ing support/time varies so widely across campus.

  5. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    @cmomma17: also what is your pay period and timesheet process?

    For us, we are required to work 40/week but our pay period and timesheet is on a monthly basis. So if we have a short week we can make it up over the month. Since you are required to work late nights, showing up early and various events I would track all of that time and try to use that to supplement you daily 1 hour break.

  6. dagret

    grapefruit / 4235 posts

    Forgot to add, if it makes you feel any better, a friend of mine got a call from HR bc one of her coworkers felt uncomfortable that her pump parts were laid out to dry in her office.

  7. hellobeeboston

    honeydew / 7235 posts

    @cmomma17: oh man, I am so sorry you are dealing with this - and only on your 4th day back, how stressful! Hopefully you can pump closer to your office! Also - do they provide a laptop, can you be connected while pumping? That's what I do - but I have the kind of job where that works. Your boss sounds miz, and bitter (or something) UGH.

    Keep us posted on how this unfolds!!

  8. hellobeeboston

    honeydew / 7235 posts

    @dagret: omg, LOL... Just told DH this and we both laughed. Absurd.

  9. cmomma17

    honeydew / 7811 posts

    @T.H.O.U.: we have a 35 hr week,, 9-5 with an unpaid hour for lunch. Paid twice monthly, on the 15th and the last day of each month. No time sheets whatsoever. The same check gets cut for me each time. If I use vacation or sick time I submit a form to be approved by my boss, and I am responsible for tracking when those hours are earned/used.

    @dagret how awful for your friend! What is wrong with people?? Did she end up being allowed to leave them out or not?

  10. dagret

    grapefruit / 4235 posts

    @cmomma17: She's going to start rinsing/not washing/storing in her cooler HB style. She was really upset though. I can't believe how unsupportive some employers can be.

  11. cmomma17

    honeydew / 7811 posts

    Update! I emailed HR my understanding of yesterday's meeting asking for confirmation/clarification. HR responded but did not acknowledge anything in writing. Just said they want to meet with me and my boss both today at two. I feel nervous and unprepared. DH wants me to record the meeting.

  12. avivoca

    watermelon / 14467 posts

    @cmomma17: Record it if you can and definitely take notes. Be armed with the laws of your state and the federal laws, and possibly take copies for your boss and HR. Time your first pump session today and have that information as well. Good luck! I hope everything works out!

  13. Mrs. Lemon-Lime

    wonderful pea / 17279 posts

    @cmomma17: Just bring a note pad and pen and take lots of notes. Actively listen. Meaning if they make a statement, restate the way you understood it and ask them to confirm. This allows them to elaborate if needed. Plus it allows them to hear how their BS sounds.

  14. Dandelion

    watermelon / 14206 posts

    @cmomma17: Good luck! It's going to seem a long time until 2!

  15. Adira

    wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts

    @cmomma17: I agree with @Mrs. Lemon-Lime's suggestion. Take lots of notes and repeat back what they say. Ugh, it just makes me so mad that you have to deal with this! Employers should be supportive and encouraging of women who want to breastfeed and not make it more difficult for them! And please keep us posted!

  16. mamimami

    grapefruit / 4120 posts

    @cmomma17: This is good! They're on the defensive which means you're doing something right. I agree you should record if you can, if not either you or the HR person should take minutes that ALL of you should sign off on. Good luck! I suggest you say as LITTLE as possible. Let them talk and get nervous and say stupid stuff.

  17. wahine08

    clementine / 957 posts

    I don't have any advice either but this is terrible With all the stress of a new baby, you have to deal with this? I'm sorry and I hope this works out for you.

  18. mrskc

    bananas / 9357 posts

    @cmomma17: Good luck! I agree with others. Definitely take notes. Your boss is a big bully. Good for you for sticking up for yourself!!!!

    @dagret: Are you freaking serious? What were they uncomfortable with? The fact that those parts touched breasts? lol My gosh. How fing petty.

  19. prettylizy

    GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts

    @cmomma17: Take your cell phone into that meeting (I'm assuming you have one! lol!) and use the voice recorder app. Or if you have a recording device that would work too. I'm so mad for you, my blood is boiling!!!! You have rights!!!!!

  20. Ginabean3

    pomegranate / 3401 posts

    OMG horrible!!! I am hoping for a positive resolution for you!!!!!!! I agree with everything that has been said above!!!! Let us know what happens.

  21. cascademom

    coconut / 8861 posts

    @cmomma17: I totally understand. I just see already mean boss who could get a lot worse. Your boss strikes me as the type to bully you out of the job for perceived insubordination. I'm saying be really well versed in your university's policies before and after going to the president.

  22. sheskrafty

    persimmon / 1165 posts

    That is awful! Let the record show you feel discriminated against, know your rights, and make sure everything is put into writing. Shame on your boss for being petty. This is a temporary situation, permanent. Best of luck!!!!

  23. looch

    wonderful pear / 26210 posts

    I would be very careful about recording, especially if you do it without their consent. I don't know what the rules are, but where I work, recorded lines are always disclosed to all parties.

    Thinking of you, though, I agree on taking the minutes.

  24. mrbee

    admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts

    I agree with @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: regarding taking lots of notes!

    I would not record the meeting though... since you are in some ways dependent on the good will of the other two people who will be in the meeting. You could maybe ask the HR person ahead of time to take notes/minutes of the meeting?

  25. regberadaisy

    GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts

    @cmomma17: wow. I'm appalled at the turn of events especially bc you work at a university. I also would not record the meeting. Just take good notes like everyone mentioned.

  26. Crisark

    pomegranate / 3398 posts

    @cmomma17: I would record if you can and I would also write as much down as possible.
    You want to be as prepared as you can be. If you want to you could print down copies of the laws we talked about yesterday. Having as much behind you esp with how your boss seems to be will probably be the best idea.

  27. Smurfette

    GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts

    @cmomma17: My work hasn't said anything to me but I pump three times a day, so I just don't take a lunch to cover the time pumping. I think my boss wouldn't care either way, she is a big supporter of BF but I don't want anyone else complaining.

    I am really mad for you. I can't believe your boss isn't working with you on this.

  28. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5257 posts

    I second @looch, if you record then I would not do so without telling them. I don't know about your state but many require all parties to consent to a recording, so if you wanted to use it in the future, it would be safest to let them know. Good luck, I'm so sorry you're going through this!

  29. Maysprout

    grapefruit / 4800 posts

    Sorry they're making things stressful.

    I agree with what the others have said. Make sure there's a record of the meeting (notes or whatever you're comfy with) and repeat back what was said in your wording.

    Don't use the meeting to complain about your boss or anything like that. Just be calm and rational since you have a very rational side to your story.

    It might be worth mentioning that when you asked for a place to pump you were given the option of a utility closet without lights or walking across campus. Reiterate that you come in 15 min early and will start documenting that every day but that you don't think it's fair to expect you to work overtime because they can't find a more convenient place to pump.

    Also talk to the other lady who pumped for a year before the meeting so you have someone else's experience to say this is how it was handled at the college previously.

    But other than the basics don't say or ramble too much because it's an emotional thing and can easily get out of control.

  30. Espion

    pomegranate / 3577 posts

    @cmomma17: I caught up with this thread at 3 AM. Good luck today and I'm sending cool, calm and collected vibes your way! This is unbelievable that she would raise such a fuss. Its not like you are going to be breastfeeding/pumping for the next 10 years.
    I don't see how she can even remotely complain unless she can in some way prove that your work isn't getting done.

  31. plantains

    grapefruit / 4671 posts

    Good luck today, hoping for a really good outcome for you.

  32. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    @cmomma17: So, based on that, I would present my case that I am ensuring that I am working at least 35 hours per week, or 70 hours per pay period. Even though there is no formal timesheet, I would start documenting it all and maybe even think about asking for a process to have your boss and HR person sign off on them.

    You are right, they aren't going to pay you for extra break time, but if you are already working the extra time, then you should be able to use the extra earned time for extra break time.

  33. purrpletulips

    pomegranate / 3414 posts

    @cmomma17: I was in your almost exact shoes when I returned to work after having DD. I work for a large university but my division is kind of off on its own. My boss was aware of my desire to BF and pump when I returned to work and was supportive of the plan when I went on maternity leave. However, while I was out things changed and she became very unfavorable to my pumping (and me in general-long story related to toxic co-worker). While she was a mom, she formula fed and advocated strongly for that route. I was miserable and told that I had to fit all my pumping breaks into my unpaid 30 min lunch. I needed to pump 3x a day for 20min each time. I was coming in early, staying late, working through lunch the whole time and was miserable.

    I agree that maybe adding in an additional pumping session instead of going home to nurse at lunch might be a better option if you can't go in any earlier or stay any later.

    Don't let them defeat you!

  34. keiki_mama

    nectarine / 2504 posts

    It's such garbage you have to deal with this. Sending positive vibes your way!

  35. math.nerd

    apricot / 253 posts

    Good luck at your meeting. Stay strong - we are all here supporting you 100%. I have very little new to add to this conversation - I'm so impressed with all of you strong women (and men? any men on here??)

    But I just wanted to contribute my indignation that this is happening to you. You have done NOTHING wrong and, from what I can gather, you seem to be able to complete your job duties just fine. Please keep us posted and let the HB community know if there is anything you need! Remember - you have done NOTHING wrong! Don't let them make you feel like you have. They are the ones in the wrong.

    I support you!

  36. Bookish

    GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts

    I hate that you are having to deal with this I think everyone has said what I'm thinking, but just wanted to send positive thoughts and hugs your way.

  37. MamaMagpie

    persimmon / 1436 posts

    @Cmomma17: This whole thing is insane! What they're doing is not only discriminatory but most likely illegal!

    Bottom line is to know, with certainty, the laws and your rights and present it to them in writing (printing out those links awesome pps posted).

    Document, document, document. I mean everything. And make them aware you are doing it!

    You can't be afraid to stand up for yourself -- you aren't asking them for special treatment, you are expecting them to comply with the law! You are your only advocate here and it is up to you to do whatever it takes to ensure they are following the law and you are able to continue to do what you feel is best for your child.

  38. mamabolt

    nectarine / 2797 posts

    Hugs mama, GL with your meeting today. You are a great mama trying to provide your LO with milk and your boss is being totally unreasonable. We're all behind you!

  39. brownie

    grapefruit / 4110 posts

    Good Luck today. Stay strong. I wouldn't give up the noon nursing. Babies are way more efficient than pumps. FYI if you pump even 3 times for less than 20 minutes Virginia law says they have to pay you. So pump more for less often. Meals and Breaks

    "Virginia does not require employers to provide breaks, including lunch breaks, for workers sixteen (16) years old or older. VA Dept. of Labor: Labor Law FAQs. An employer who chooses to provide a break in excess of twenty (20) minutes does not have to pay wages for lunch periods or other breaks if the employee is free to leave the worksite, in fact takes their lunch or break, and the employee does not actually perform work. According to federal law, breaks twenty (20) minutes or shorter typically must be paid." http://www.employmentlawhandbook.com/wage-and-hour-laws/state-wage-and-hour-laws/virginia/

  40. Sophia

    apricot / 432 posts

    Good luck! I can't imagine how stressful this must be on your first week back.

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