We have been having issues with my dad because he occasionally expects me and DH (and now our LO) to take trips with him. He doesn't seem to think it's an issue at all that we need to take time off work or that we prefer to plan our own trips. He also has no concern for our LO's schedule or the fact that she gets carsick. These trips usually involve visits to his family, but have also included conferences in his professional field. My brother and I used to tag along to these conferences as kids but it's weird now as an adult. The thing is, before my mom died, he would just travel with her. Now that she's gone, I think he expects us to take her place. DH and I keep saying yes to him because we feel so guilty about this.

Next month, we've been invited to a wedding in NY on his side of the family and once again, he expects us all to go with him. I'm torn because I want to be there but the last time we made this trip, LO got carsick like 8 times in 2 days, plus I'll be 11 weeks pregnant and probably feeling sick myself, and the reception will mostly take place after LO's bedtime anyway. I'd love to either not go or to leave LO at home with DH's mom, but it will really hurt my dad. DH thinks my dad is "paternalistic" and doesn't respect us as adults, and he has been getting more and more angry after each of these trips. I don't want to disrupt our relationship over this either.

This is mostly just a vent but I'd love to hear thoughts from others.