Hi, my son is turning six in December and we are starting to plan his party. I think we are going to have it here at our house. I’m not sure what the etiquette is for this age group around parents and siblings attending as well. We don’t have a huge space and he wants to invite around 15 kids so no one in his class gets left out. Honestly, I’d prefer if parents would just drop their kiddos off but am not sure if people would feel comfortable with that. Most are kids whose parents don’t know us personally. But I also don’t have enough space to fit 30 - 40 people. Is it weird to state on the invitation something like “Drop off at 1pm, pick up at 3pm”?
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I think it could go either way. My daughter is turning 7 this December - drop off parties are not the norm yet for us/her friend groups. The only time drop off has happened is for small parties, like 5ish kids, and where the kids/parents know each other.
We have been invited to parties that specify no siblings and request only 1 adult come. But that is still a lot of people.
But I have friends in other areas who have been doing drop off parties since the kids were 4, so who knows? I'm not sure if COVID has also played a part in this in our area since it has been harder to meet and get to know parents since most school events have been canceled.
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My son will be 7 and he was invited to a couple drop-off parties last year. (one bowling, one swimming which we didn't attend).
We hosted one as well but it was just with neighbor kids so we knew their parents already.
Honestly, I'd be more likely to have him attend a drop-off party than one where I have to stay as well.
I think that sounds fine.
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I'd be more likely to be comfortable with a drop-off party at that age when it's at the person's house versus a play place or other venue, so I think it's fine. Side note about awkwardness: DS got invited to a classmate's birthday for early first grade and the invite said that parents were welcome to stay but drop off was also an option. When we were in the doorway of the house (ie. I couldn't see inside), I asked if I should stay or go, and the parents were like, you can totally come in and hang out, so I did. And then I was the *only* parent who stayed. And other kids had gotten there first, so they knew that no other parents were there. I didn't know the family at all. It was so awkward.
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I would list "drop off encouraged".
My son is in second grade, and he is still skittish about being dropped off. I have had to stay at parties where all the other parents left because of this.
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We had a drop off party last year (but in a venue) when my daughter turned 6. The venue’s policy was drop off only to prevent a crowd during COVID because they had cut their overall max inside the building in half (its a climbing gym and they said parents counted in the number and we could only reserve for 15 max).
However after the initial rsvps came in, I knew we only had 12 guests coming, so I sent out a message to parents that said I have 3 extra spots if a parent is worried their kiddo won’t separate easily. I actually didn’t have any parents that wanted to stay, lol. But I was glad the option was there if a kiddo needed it.
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I think a lot of kindergarten parties before covid were in the both camp … I think our invitations said something like parents are welcome to drop off (it was also at our house). I think a couple parents who were closer friends of mine did stay but mostly not. I think most parents are excited to drop off if you give the option but some kids aren’t ready. First grade was the first time my shy oldest was willing to do drop offs so I was thankful for the in between in K.
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Bit of an opposing view - I wouldn’t feel comfortable dropping my six year old off at a house where I don’t know the parents.
Are your Covid numbers really good where you are? I also wouldn’t let my kids go to a party of that size right now, to be honest - that’s too many families whose histories/views I don’t know.
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We got invited to a 7th birthday in a similar situation. The invite specified outdoor movie night and said something like “backyard movie night” and come ready to cozy up outside for pizza and movie. It said specifically “please plan to drop off your child” to reduce crowding and offered to connect via text or have the parent stay a few minutes to get kiddo settled in.
Based on all this we are going to send our kid. The birthday child is a good friend and I am comfortable with outdoor. We have turned down the other invites for indoor events (jumping place, bowling, Peter Piper) in case that helps.
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Definitely not weird and I appreciate the clear instructions on drop off vs stay. I have a 6 year old and I hate the ambiguity at this age.
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Drop off parties became common in kindergarten in our area (though I hate this as a host. Little boys especially are so wild at parties. And if just takes 1 wild kid to make the party out of control…yes I’m calling some kids wild. Some legit do not listen). Of course there were zero parties last year and only outdoor parties so far this school year. I do wonder post vaccine for 5-11 yo how quickly indoor invites will start. (We wouldn’t attend an indoor party in December bc my 3 year old will still be waiting for his vax).
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Thank you everyone for the feedback! This was really helpful. I think we are going to move forward with the party and the “drop off, pick up” language on the invite. If a few parents ask to stay anyways, that’s fine, just hoping to minimize the crowd. A couple replies have mentioned Covid - we are in New York and case numbers are very low in our area. The vaccination rate is around 75% in our county. These are kids he’s with everyday at school and they will be masked except when eating. That’s a level of risk that I’m comfortable with at this point but I will certainly understand if any parents are not and decide to opt out. Thanks again to all those that weighed in.
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@ChitownRo: There was a giant debate in our local parents FB group after some kids (apparently) got rowdy at a birthday party for a nine year old, with a pileup coming down a slide that resulted in one of the kids needing to see a doctor to treat a cut to his eye. My kids are too young for drop off parties so I don't have a strong opinion, but seeing that exchange almost makes me feel like I would not be willing to take the risk of having a drop off party on my property. Instead just hold the party in a public place like a park and state explicitly that parents are expected to supervise their kids, just to avoid the liability issues. I hate that this is the world we live in, but the reality is kids can be hard to fully control, accidents happen, and I don't want to be liable...
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I was wondering when this shift would happen. My son just turned 6 and we had his party at a park. The parents all stayed throughout the party. He has been invited to a few kindergarten parties and the parents have stayed as well. It would depend on the venue and how well we know the family and other kids if I felt comfortable dropping him off. I think your wording on the invite is a good solution to give the option.
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I definitely think drop off parties are better unless you know all the parents well. It's just so awkward to spend two hours trying to chat with people you barely know. The only problem is, can you handle 15 kids in your house? If a party place is an option, that might be better and there's more room so other parents can stay and watch their own kids.
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@Chuckles: I had the exact same experience a couple weeks ago! I did feel like the birthday mom and I had a good conversation and got to know each other, but still, very awkward.
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I find staying so awkward and was so happy when we could finally do drop off parties!
6 seemed to be the age here that parties started to be mostly drop off. And then covid happened and there hasn’t been a birthday party since.
The option though is nice because some aren’t quite ready at six to stay themselves.
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@ALV91711: it’s SO awkward. We went to one over the summer that was all family of the birthday boy and then us. Everyone was nice but it was awkward for sure. I hate it even more as a host.
I ended up doing a complete 180 on this yesterday after floating the idea to some of the moms in my son’s class. All were adamantly in the “would not drop off” camp for this age.
We’ve decided to have a Nerf party at a local sports place that hosts them. Definitely way pricier than doing it at home but hopefully my son has a ton of fun.
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@Cait1: I haven’t read all the responses you got but I would not drop off at this age. My son will be 6 in two weeks. And certainly not with a family I didn’t know very well - like someone from school. That being said, it could be a perfect way to shrink your crowd! The parents who are ok with it will Rsvp yes, and the others will skip it but probably drop off a gift
I think that sounds fine.
We’ve decided to have a Nerf party at a local sports place that hosts them. Definitely way pricier than doing it at home but hopefully my son has a ton of fun.
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