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I would expect food and drinks to be provided at a shower. But I would be ok with buying my own if it said on the invitation that drinks and appetizers would be provided.
If you do not want to pay for everyone I would definitely not call it a shower. I would just invite people by text/email/phone and call it a get together.
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I would expect for it to be paid, unless it's specified on the invite, so then I'll either just know I have to pay extra for food, or lower my budget for gift if needed.
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I think it'd be easier/nicer to cover the cost for the attendees. I've never been to a shower and been expected to pay my own way.
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42 comments