I didn't think I was a worry-wart kind of person. Until I became a MOM! Now all I do is worry all day long about every little thing. I have a few friends who are much more laid back than I am and I'm constantly trying to emulate them. The main reason I worry is because I feel that worrying helps me think ahead and prepare for the worst (totally wrong I know). But I can't help it!
If you're a laid back mom, how do you stop yourself from worrying?
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
@banana: What exactly are you worried about? Your LO's health? LO's education/development? Everything in general? I think all new parents worry!!
coconut / 8681 posts
Haha subscribing! I'm exactly like you described. Try not to worry about not worrying! Blah!
coconut / 8681 posts
@Bao: I worry about all of the above! But specifically the what ifs most of the time regarding bad things that could happen to LO.
grapefruit / 4056 posts
I don't think you can "make yourself" into a laid back Mom. I think you just either are or aren't! I know lots of people thought I would be a neurotic Mom because I am type-A in life, but I find myself being really chill about it. Although, I think confidence is a major contributor, if you are confident in yourself, your baby, and your parenting you will naturally be more laid back!
watermelon / 14206 posts
You can worry and prepare all you want, but when it comes down to something happening, you can never be prepared. Freak things happen, and when they do, you can't blame yourself for not worrying enough or being prepared for it. Things happen. Some times there's nothing you can do about it. Worrying only inhibits you from enjoying the moments that are good. Plus, it's bad for your blood pressure.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
I wonder if people are as laid back as they seem. I have a friend who seemed super mellow but if you get into a good conversation with her, you find that she has most of the typical worries.
persimmon / 1081 posts
I allow myself to make plan but not worry. Mind you I do a lot of research and planning (some things I have plans A, B, prob all the way to Z), knowing full well they are probably worthless, but it helps me feel in control - because that's really what it comes down to, control.
Also, I do not do this for every area of DD's life. I mainly think about her education. Whether everything she eats is organic, if everything she touches is nontoxic, I'm like, eh. She's very healthy overall and I know I can't protect her from everything.
nectarine / 2886 posts
@banana: I justify my worrying for the exact reason you stated...I want to be prepared for the worst! This drives DH crazy because he is not a worrier and is really laid back. I'm not a laid back mom so no advice here, sorry!
pomegranate / 3604 posts
I do what is in my control to prevent. I realize a lot of things in life are not in my control. And breathe.
pomegranate / 3980 posts
I am just a laid back person in general, I find that I am less able to deal with a situation if I freak out!
olive / 68 posts
All of my friends tell me that I'm a super laid back mom. I think MsMini is completely correct about how you just are or aren't. I'm laid back in all other aspects of life and it just overflows into how I raise my child. I also realize that there are just some things that can't be changed or prevented, no matter how much worrying or overanalyzing you might do, and that oftentimes over stressing can actually cause more harm.
pomelo / 5093 posts
Yeah, I couldn't tell you anything that I do to be laid back, I just am. My daughter is fairly chill too, and I don't know if that's nature or nurture. I just don't find myself worried very often about stuff I can't help. I just work hard to ensure her safety and health and happiness and figure that's about the best I can do.
eggplant / 11824 posts
@katiew92081: totally agree with absolutely everything you said!
I used to worry about everything (prior to LO), then gradually I just realized that either I can work myself up worrying; or not, and either way what will be will be.
I also think I'm a less worrisome parent because I'm ok with dirt and falls and tears (within reason, of course!); things will happen, I'm going to be a parent for the rest of my life and that's an awfully long time to worry 24/7! 
coconut / 8299 posts
@Bao: Yes to all of those things! It's weird because at work, I'm totally laid back and things don't ever really stress me out. But when it comes to my kids, I'm a big ole worry wart. Lately it's been about developmental milestones. Any small delay gets me so worked up and worried. =\
@betsyboop: Same here! My DH is really laid back and he gets annoyed whenever I start freaking out over nothing. He tries to calm me down and talk sense into me, but sometimes it just doesn't work! Whenever I think "Ok, I'm just gonna chill out because most likely there is nothing wrong." But then I think "But what if there IS something wrong and I just sit here and do nothing about it???". I guess that's pretty classic thinking for a worry-wart mom. =\
coconut / 8299 posts
@kimjsugar: I wish I was more like you! For me, I know that worrying doesn't help anything. But for some sick reason, I just feel like worrying is making me feel proactive vs just letting things fall into place. Maybe it's a control thing because I am kind of control-freaky. I dunno!
grapefruit / 4582 posts
Okay, i'm the same way but I have to keep telling myself if something bad is going to happen, its going to happen whether I worry or not. Therefore, I would rather spend my time enjoying every moment with my LO than worrying about the future and the "what ifs". Living in the "now" is how I chose to live.
pomegranate / 3008 posts
Worrying and getting worked up over something that may or may not happen or is happening isn't going to change the outcome and it makes not only me but DS stressed and anxious so I do my best to let go of what is outside of my control - which is most everything. That and prayers.
pear / 1723 posts
I was soooo worried and paranoid during my pregnancy and the first few months of my twins life. They just felt so vulnerable to me. I'm a type A worrier personality in general, so it was just kind of normal
Now? I've totally surprised myself. We're not a slave to a schedule, other than a general bedtime. The house isn't obsessively clean. They'll learn a skill when they're ready. They'll sleep longer when their ready.
I think a lot of it is that now at 8 months, we've witnessed their growth and development. They've had months of crappy sleep and cosleeping, and we outgrew it. They fought naps, and outgrew it. We learned that DS hits milestones faster than DD, but she masters them faster. They've gotten overheated, and wet and cold, and been exposed to whooping cough, and we're all still here to tell the story
Obviously everyone has different experiences, but having twins has actually mellowed me out. It made me realize that I can't control everything to the Nth degree, and we just have to roll with what comes our way each day.
pineapple / 12053 posts
It's funny because getting pregnant made me more laid back. I'm a stress case usually but getting pregnant and having her made me realize I can't control it all so I let some stuff go. Once I try to control it, it spirals out of control! I've read as much as I can and ultimately I go back to what I think works for my daughter and our family.
pear / 1570 posts
i've received a few comments that i am so mellow with my LO and i can't really pin point why that is. i am pretty confident in my abilities and i trust that i know what is best for my LO. i get worked up if he doesn't drink his bottles when i am away or if he falls but on the flip side if he doesn't eat during the day i feed him more at night and if he takes a tumble i just watch for signs that he's not himself.
i guess just taking each day as it comes and not trying to think about what *could* happen
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
I definitely worry about things, but for the most part I think I'm fairly laid back. Years and years ago I taught myself to not play "what-if" games. I can worry and try to micro-manage every detail of everything I do, but I can't predict what could happen. I only have a limited time on this earth, and with DH and DS, and I try to savor every day we have rather than stress about things out of my control.
coconut / 8299 posts
@FutureMrsMcK: Yes, I play the "what if" games constantly and that's what drives me crazy! I think a lot of my anxiety comes from having to deal with my son's speech delay. It made me much more aware (and sensitive) of milestone development. I know I just need to chill out and stop micro-managing. I just need to figure out how!
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
I worried a lot more in the beginning than I ever thought I would. At 10 months out, I am much more laid back. Though, I do worry about his eating when he is sick, since he's a peanut to start out with. And, sleep? I make sure he gets 2 good naps because otherwise he is up at night - I try to keep to his bedtime w/in 30 minutes of it....because otherwise he doesn't sleep as well.
I don't worry about stuff I can't control though. Also, I've come to understand that almost everything baby related is "a phase." So I'm trying to not fixate on stuff as much.
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