It's a Monday night. Your neighbor across the street has a daughter going into 9th grade. There are 8 boys playing basketball in the driveway and at least 10 more on the porch boxing and being loud (all at least HS or older). At least 7-8 cars are parked on the street. They aren't visibly breaking any laws other than being loud and annoying and are staying on their property. Not the first time this has happened. WWYD?
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@matador84: I guess it would depend on what the noise ordinance is where you live. I would definitely be annoyed, but I think I'd try to chat with the parents before calling the cops. Either go over now and knock on the door, or bring it up the next time you see them. Maybe say, hey, we've got little kids, would you mind having these guys quiet down or go around back? If it continues to be a problem then I'd resort to calling the cops, but I'd try to maintain the neighborly relationship if I could.
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I'd see what the noise ordinances are. You could call the non emergency line and complain about the noise- but it does not sound illegal. Just annoying.
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Definitely look in to the noise ordinance for your area. Where I live police really won't do anything about noise until after 10, and even then it has to be really loud. I agree with trying to talk with the parents first. If it continues to be a problem and the parents aren't being helpful then I would talk to the police and see what they say.
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I would also definitely try talking to them first!
I once called our town parking admin because someone had left a truck in front of our house for over a week during the winter when there is no street parking. I REALLY didn't think it was any of our neighbors because we'd never seen it before. I was SO embarrassed when they actually sent out a cop in a cop car to ring people's doorbells to figure out whose truck it was and it ended up being our neighbor across the street, with the cop pointing at our house saying we were the ones who called. I assumed they were just going to leave a ticket on the car.
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I would not call the cops, nor would I even say anything to the neighbors unless this was going on after 10pm on a regular basis. I don't feel like it's the responsibility of my neighbors to adjust their lives because I have small kids.
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@Truth Bombs: Me either. I'd be annoyed but I don't think they are doing anything wrong unless it's super late.
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I wouldn't say anything, but if it happens again I'd make sure my cars were parked somewhere safe, lock my doors and stay inside. late teens/early 20's bunch of guys, can get rowdy real quick.
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Unless it was really late, I probably wouldn't say anything or call the cops. I commiserate with you though - my parents live across the street from a family with a veteran cop mom, firefighter dad, and a troublemaker son, so we always felt like we had to be very careful about calling in. In just the times I've visited, there have been loud parties lasting until 2am, car chases down the street, and even a fistfight in front of our house, all in this safe, suburban NY town. So I agree about being careful if there are a lot of guys.
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Given all the messed up things that happen to children these days when police show up I would not call the cops.
One of our old neighbors, two doors down in a cul de sac, had a popular kid. Whenever he was home from college he always had a pool party. Only once in a while we could hear it in our house if we were out of our bedroom.
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How late?? We have high school kids that live next door, and we're at the end of a cul de sac, so they tend to congregate. Luckily they don't make much noise after 10:30ish I'd say, and they haven't ever woken the kids, which would piss me off. We have been tempted to call the cops but never did, and are friendly with them, so I think that helps... sometimes as payback when my kids are up super early we're out there making our own noise, haha.
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Unfortunately I think this I just part of living in a neighborhood. Unless they are violating a noise ordinance. I would be annoyed too and I have had to get used to this type of thing bc I grew up in the country, no neighbors. So when our neighbors park their cars in front of my house or they rev motorcycle engines on sundays it really bothers me BUT they aren't doing anything illegal and aren't violating any ordinances. Our quiet hours begin at 10 pm in our neighborhood.
On the flip side we had our deck power washed yesterday and the guy was doing that until 8 pm.... it was annoying ME so I am sure it annoyed the neighbors. Just part of living in close proximity to others I'm afraid.
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It all depends on what time it is. If it's pretty late I would just go over there and say "Hey, guys, I get up pretty early, would you mind taking this to the backyard?" If you don't feel comfortable with that I'd just suck it up for the night and then go over the next day and talk to the parents. I don't know what the cars parked on the street has to do with anything, though.
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To me it depends on how late it is and my relationship with the neighbor.
I live near a handful of homes with high school and young college aged kids (who are now home for the summer). All my neighbors have mentioned to me "if my kids are ever disturbing you just say something" - I think generally people want to be a good neighbor and might not realize how loud they are.
Dark is generally my guideline in the summer. If it were dark I'd probably see if its a one time occurrence...you've already said its not the first time. Since thats the case I might call the neighbor (or text if you're comfortable) and maybe suggest would it be possible for them to move the party to the back yard. Otherwise I'd see how she responds to the comment (which I'd be very polite about and just maybe mention my daughters are asleep...blah blah)...
If she's receptive I'd let it go, of course. If she does anything, I'd let it go - even if they move to the back yard and its still loud. I'd wait and say something at a later time...so as to not pile on.
If it became an ongoing issue and you felt her responsiveness went away I'd consider contacting the police if it does violate the noise ordnance.
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I have called the police on neighbors on the 4th of July. Our city has a 9pm rule with fireworks. I let it slide until 10pm...beyond that I have no issue calling.
ETA: Obviously the non emergency line.
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I have before when our previous neighbor who lives directly behind us had a dog who they let bark ALL AFTERNOON AND ALL EVENING. We knocked on their door, no answer, so I assume they weren't at home. It was RIDICULOUS. So I did call the non emergency line and the police came out.
I would call if it was really disruptive and I tried to resolve it myself or if it was someone I didn't feel comfortable approaching. In my area, houses and yards are very small, so we're very close to our neighbors. My feeling is that comes with the responsibility that you have to watch your noise. If my neighbor is having a pool party and the music is so loud that I can't watch TV INSIDE MY HOUSE, that's too loud regardless of the time of day.
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So, I fell asleep around 930 and DH stayed up for a while. He told me this morning he called the non-emergency line at 1015 because they just kept getting louder and louder, no adults were around, it was dark and they were crossing the street and running through our yard chasing each other with boxing gloves and he had enough. He said less than 5 minutes after calling everyone left, so he didn't know if a patrol car was close by and stopped in or ironically it got out of control and everyone had to leave.
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Oh if they were in my yard, un-supervised I for sure would have had no problem notifying someone...
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Our neighbor was having a full blown party with super super loud music late into the night when DD1 was an infant. Even with loud white noise, she couldn't sleep due to the loud bass booming the whole time. DH went over the talk to them; they completely ignored him (probably drunk). We decided not to call the police b/c we didn't want bad blood....
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@matador84: If you have a "hey, how's it going" relationship with the parents I might still go over and chat with them, as you say this isn't the first time. Maybe just mention that they were pretty loud and you know it's summer, kids are up later, etc but ask if they could stay in the house or the backyard after, like, 9pm.
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It sounds like its kids being kids. I would much rather see kids playing around outside enjoying the summer air than holed up watching movies, doing who knows what on the internet. It sounds like they were having good wholesome summer fun. I probably wouldn't have called until after 11 pm.
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If the parents were not home, yes I'd call. My neighbours had a kid that age and the friends came over all the time. It was like your situation, super annoying, but no laws broken. We were having a conversation with neighbour one day and basically, they were happy all the kids were coming over because they knew the kids were not getting into real trouble. I figure I could put up with annoyance to help with that. AND it only lasted a year. Must be a new party place this year.
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I'd call. I call on our neighbors all the time if they are loud after our Condo quiet hours! I don't have any patience! But we deal with 20-somethings drunk and having parties, coming home from the bars at 2:30am and screaming drunk lover's quarrels, etc. But yes, this past weekend I reported a neighbor for being loud at 10:45pm in the courtyard, keeping me awake.
I can't wait to move next year! -
@Mrs. Microscope: Ugh, I feel your pain! We used to live on a small courtyard and had neighbors who would be out on their balconies, music blasting, drinking and talking loudly until FIVE A.M. sometimes. This was before I had a baby, but I still needed sleep since, you know, I had to go to work in the morning. We regularly called the complex security. If we went on our balcony and asked them to tone it down, they would just laugh at us and keep it up.
Noise issues suck. We're dealing with new nextdoor neighbors who put their yappy dog out in the backyard every morning at 6. The dog barks loudly and incessantly. This is the only time of day I've noticed it, so I suspect they don't feel like getting up and walking the dog at that time so just put it out in the yard. SO annoying and rude.
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That's nuts. Now that it is over, I would go over and talk to the parents. Let them know that the gathering got loud and was disturbing you inside your house. Mention they went into your yard. See how they respond.
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I'm surprised so many people are "ok" with kids running through her property after 10pm at night...being loud.
I agree kids will be kids...but running through someone elses property after dark is excessive. I'd definitely talk to the parents.
Out of curiosity @matador84: how far apart are your houses? Or how big are your lots?
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Eh...I was a kid once too and used to do this. I'm of the mindset of they really aren't causing any trouble. If the worst they're doing is being loud, I'd call that a win. If it was really excessive, I might run over and say that I have a few young kiddos sleeping and if they wouldn't mind being quieter, that would be awesome. Calling the cops seems extreme to me.
Now, if you're witnessing them drinking or doing anything illegal like defacing property, I'd call the non-emergency line for a drive by.
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I would have probably had DH walk over there when they started going into my property. Or turn on all the outside lights and make my presence known! By 11 I would probably call especially if the parents aren't around.
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In the original situation, I'd do nothing. I don't think there was a problem. In the updated situation when they were on your property, I'd ask them to leave/quiet down.
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I wouldn't call, especially before midnight. The cops have plenty to do.
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It definitely strikes me as bizarre that anyone would consider calling the police for kids hanging out doing nothing illegal on a neighbor's property at (what sounds like it was) not even yet 9:00pm.
Running around on your own property after 10pm is completely different.
In either situation though, first step should be contacting your neighbor. Involving police puts people at risk.
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@matador84: going into my yard late at night would be a different story. if an adult wasn't there to call (do you have the parents cell to all?), then I would have to call the cops to shut it down.
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@T.H.O.U.: 20 kids in HS is way different to me than 20 kids who are in MS or younger.
From like any point in the day until 9ish it's not a big deal to me at all because they're just hanging out. After 9, it's too big of a crowd with only one adult there to monitor.
Backstory on my neighbor--I don't know her personally but know her through friends of friends. She's recently divorced and the type who's more of a "I want to be best friends with my kids friends than have friends my own age." She often goes out of town and there have been parties in the past with lots of alcohol involved.
@Mrs D: the lots are fairly large and it's a totally residential neighborhood with a two lane street diving out homes.Ironically at swim lessons this morning I saw another mom who lives in our neighborhood. She made a comment how she was on the way to the store and saw the size of the crowd at our neighbors house and how late at night it was. So, at least I'm glad that when seen IRL it wasn't just me that thought it was a little out of control.
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@matador84: Yea if there was a potential to have alcohol involved or no adults around I would be way more leery and called for someone to come monitor. I just remember in high school wanting to hang out at friends houses and that often involved a group of us (often 20 or more easily!) that often were outside as well.
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33 comments