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@aprild: I only have 2 kids, but I feel like so much of this depends on the individual personality of the mom---and of course the personalities of the kids. Some moms can handle more chaos than others, or are better at getting kids to follow directions, etc. or are more social and more motivated to make it work going out of the house. And of course, some kids are just harder than others.

There's no doubt in my mind that the initial period with 3 would be hard, just because babies require so much attention with all the constant feedings and changing. So I can imagine that making outings to museums and stuff a lot more challenging because you constantly have to stop to feed the baby or change the baby, and that would involve making the older kids traipse with you to the bathroom more often, etc.

But once the youngest is 2 or so, it seems like it would ease up again.

Also, my husband kind of acts like he can't handle two on his own (outside of the house) NOW. Like he can, and he will when I suggest/force him to, but he never initiates taking both kids on an outing. If he has a day with them, and I'm gone for whatever reason, there's a 90% change they will stay in our condo the entire day. Some people are just like that, and I'm sure some moms are like that, too.

I have 3 kids (4 months, 3 years and 5 years) and we are out almost every day! I am on mat leave (Canada) so it’s like being a SAHM right now. I do playgroups, the other older 2 do climbing classes, swim lessons, dance class, cooking class and the oldest starts soccer next month. I take all 3 grocery shopping, or to the mall or post office, and once it warms up will absolutely hit the splash park etc.

I think it all depends on you and your circle. My friends will totally grab the baby, keep an eye on an older kid etc in a pinch, and have no issues doing so. I am also a really chill person by nature so I don’t get too anxious about the idea of a tiny bit of chaos. Also, my kids aren’t perfect but the absolutely know the expectations as far as staying close to me in public etc.

I think this is going to come down to you and your personality as well as your kids.... I have 2 kids and for me that is hard enough. Of course as the kids get older I believe it'll get easier. But for me when I have to solo parent, which is a lot (most evenings and some weekends) 2 is enough and I honestly dont' think I could handle 3. But that is me. I don't like leaving the oldest one to her own devices while I tend to the baby and I can barely put the baby down to do anything like make dinner or pack lunches so it's quite stressful for me. My baby is somewhat high needs though so my attitude could be different if he was chill and let me do what I needed to do...

Such a good question. To be perfectly honest I used to do a lot more with just two. Like we would go everywhere and anywhere no problem. Now I still handle three by myself all the time for day to day stuff but I am more likely to do activities that are closer to home and less demanding. Like we will still go to a park but I’m less likely to go to the science museum with all three; at this point it’s hard to divide my attention. Then again, the youngest is a toddler and I really need to be close by to her, so maybe that will still change a year from now.

@aprild: I think its totally dependent on the personalities of the people in the house, like PPs have noted. While I do not SAH, I take very long maternity leaves (1 year for each kid), and then typically work part-time, so I sort of have SAHM periods in my life. And until recently, DH had to commute 150 miles roundtrip a few times a week for work, so he was either out the door at 5am or coming home right at bedtime or later.

I have 2 boys (3.5 and almost 2) and neither DH and I like taking the kids out solo. If we have to (like during winter break when DH was solo-ing during the day), we pretty much only go to indoor locations or parks that are fenced-in so one of them can't run off in a separate direction. I don't know if its their age or because they are rambunctious little kids, or what, but they would most definitely sprint off in opposite directions without boundaries.

DH has a higher tolerance for chaos than I do, so I personally do not take the kids out by myself very often. But I'm an introvert, so I like to be home anyway. I will take the boys out grocery shopping sometimes if they will sit in the cart, but my oldest wants to walk nowadays, which makes DS2 want to get out and its a mess. But again, this could just be a virtue of the fact that my boys are only 20 months apart and they are in a tough to manage age.

That said, we are considering a third child as well. Timing-wise, the soonest that would happen is when the boys are 5 and 3. DS1 is so capable now at 3.5 and DS2 is so much more laid back of a kid than DS1, that I feel like it would be more manageable as far as their ages and personalities go. DS1 is my high-strung, easily over stimulated chatterbox kid, but he is good at independent play and will be in kinder at that point. DS2 will be in preschool at least in the mornings. DS2 will likely drop his nap sometime soon after the baby arrives, so the boys being able to play together in the afternoons will also be helpful.

But I think your thought process is valid and understandable. The only reason we are considering a third child is because DH and I just fully accept that the first year will revolve around the baby's schedule and that the entire family will sacrifice for that. (Its why I took such long maternity leaves). We EXPECT our outings to be limited until the baby is on 1 nap. And we also don't expect to have really "fun" vacations or outings as a family until a kid is like 3 - so we haven't had a "for fun" vacation in a long time. We accept those things as just having to happen, so its less of a bummer to us.

That said, being so close to that fun point with my kids and thinking of adding a new baby and pushing that timeline another 3 years is daunting sometimes. But its also why we're hoping to take a really fun family vacation BEFORE we have a new baby and take advantage of the age they are at before things happen. I also fully took advantage of a Mommy's Helper after DS2 was born and made it a point to carve out quality time with DS1 while the baby stayed at home and I expect to do that as well with any new children.

Overall, I expect my kids will have to cramp their style for about 18 months, but I really don't think they're going to remember it or be all that adversely affected, so shrug! Its more me and DH who will extend these toddler grind years!

I think so, but I can't really imagine going out solo with three until the youngest is 4-5 months. I've gone out with two when DD was a tiny baby, but we were with friends and DS would just play with them while DD nursed and nursed I'm not sure it would be safe for me to let two kids loose on the playground while I'm parked on a bench for ten minutes at a time. Maybe I'll feel differently when DD is older, but even older kids can fall off stuff or need an urgent bathroom break.

Also, yes, personalities. One of my kids went through a long phase of hating to go out. You couldn't get him back inside once he went, but getting dressed and putting shoes on... omg. The other one was an incredibly high-needs baby and still has moments when she just gets mad and won't even explain why. She just stands there making angry faces and mooing like an upset cow none of that really helps one get out of the house fast.

It totally depends person to person, I have 3 girls ages 9, almost 6 and 3, I'm also due on the 28th with our first boy. We go out most days of the week, it's been harder being super pregnant but it's still doable.

It's harder to do things that require sitting still or a strict schedule but honestly just like with two I have a much harder time when we spend too much time in the house. It's harder because of three different schedules and sets of needs. Two of mine are napping age. But this part is temporary! It was overwhelming for me the first two months in the middle of cold and flu season but we are coming out of our fog! They are almost 3 months, 2.5, 5.5. Don't get me wrong it's for sure harder so far but I can't imagine not having my third! Also if you have a lot of support/help it'll be easier. We moved to where it's an hour or two drive each way from MIL who is mostly our only help besides lo1 going to school. And my dh works a schedule that always changes even up to the day or week before. They change times add or move days etc. Usually 10 hour shifts right now but he's done 8s, 12s, days, nights, mids (worked up to like 20 hrs straight no breaks when it gets busy even when we were expecting him home..). I work very very pt and that's when we use our MIL help! We had two dinners out last year sans kids. So I totally get where you're coming from with needing to be able to do it alone! I just remind myself a) eventually bedtime will be here And b) people have more than 3 or less than 2 parents and sometimes both. Can't imagine not having my third anymore! But I'm def done, lol.

This is a great question and I'm loving all the answers!
I have 2 LO's right now and I rarely run errands with both of them so 3 does seem very daunting! It's a good perspective as I talk myself out of 3 for my husband's sake. (He wants to be done).

If I got pregnant now, absolutely. We have 2 boys who are 5.5 and 2.5, so by the time I would have another, they'd be over 6 and 3. My older boy is very self sufficient. He would help with the middle, and I would have the youngest. I wouldn't say it would be simple, but DS2 is far more self sufficient at his age than DS1 was. It might be a first child vs. second child thing, but he's much better at communicating his needs as well.

I would think that people who do it back to back ...it may be a bit harder for them as they have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a newborn. That would be a bit harder as those ages for my kids were harder. I think it has to do with the spacing of children too.

I have 3 (almost 6, 3, and 9 months) and at first it was hard to be out and about with all 3, mostly b/c the middle child would run off if I was nursing or something. But now, it's not bad at all. The oldest one helps me out and keeps the 3 year old in check and baby is on a schedule. We go out and about all the time and I solo parent a lot b/c of my husband's work schedule. The laundry is INSANE though. Ha! We have a nanny 4 days b/c I work and thankfully she really helps in that dept.

@winniebee: oh my gosh, the laundry! It's such a Sisyphean task!

Mine are 4, 3 and 1 and it is not a problem to get out with the three of them by myself. Honestly I have had to train them though - if they start getting crazy and not listening, we go home. (Obviously I account for the fact that they are kids and if they are loud and make messes or something that is one thing - but if they run in a parking lot or leave me in a store we have left immediately. Usually only takes once for them to miss out on something and they never do it again!)

Definitely doable and once you get used to it, it's just a new normal and you don't even think about it. For reference I am SAHM to a 5, 3, and 1 year old..
The thing that's different with a third is that your oldest is that much older than when your second was a baby, he or she already knows what it's like to share attention, and is better able to help out when you need it. Even little things like walking through a parking lot you can carry the baby, hold the middle child's hand and tell your oldest to hold a siblings hand and s/he is probably old enough to understand and do it.
The hardest thing, like others have mentioned is that to get out and do things you are just juggling the mood of another temperamental person and for a while someone may forever either be napping or needing a nap but those days are fleeting and before you know it no one will be napping anymore. To be honest i am more nervous about being able to handle 3 teenagers than how can i manage to go food shopping with 3 kids 5 and under.

Not quite what you're asking as we have 4 LOs and I don't SAH but we do take them out a lot. It is always a little funny because people will seriously stop and stare at us (not sure whether that is because it is uncommon to see 4 kids in general or whether it is because it is a set of twins). We get a lot of comments about how brave we are. While we prefer taking them out together both of us have regularly taken them out by ourselves as well. I think it is just very much a personality thing. I have found that people which are probably more laid-back parents generally seem to have an easier time than anxious and type A-parents. But that is just my subjective POV.

Yes! I SAH have to get out of the house otherwise I would lose my mind. My oldest is 3 and I had twins four months ago and we have already done a couple trips to our zoo and usually get out and about several times a week. I never expected to have three, the twins were a shock. I had decided before baby number two that I wasn't going to change the way the oldest and I did things just because DH and I added to our family. That motto carried over to the twins but I did give myself a little more leeway at first with getting them all out of the house. We too do an annual trip to Disney and December will be our first trip with all three, I'm nervous but we don't have much choice since number three came with number two, haha.

Can it be done, of course. Is it always easy/feasible, no.

I think this totally depends on the ages of the kids. When the youngest is under age 2 or 2.5, its tough going out whether you have one kid or four kids. Thats just a tough age.