My dad has been very sick for a couple weeks now and has yet to receive a diagnosis. He was hospitalized for several days, sent home, and has had two lung biopsies. Still no answers or treatment, but he has a doctor's appointment on Monday. Is it possible that is when he will be given the bad news?
Any experiences with the diagnosis of cancer or other conditions?
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I am so sorry. That must be so stressful for your family.
I would imagine they wouldn't sit on the news over the weekend if they had results back.
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My dad passed of colon cancer 13 years ago. I was not with him when he got the news so I don't know how they do it....I just wanted to say hugs.
I know it's hard.
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My aunt was hospitalized, had tests the next day and was told that night in the hospital. It all happened very quickly and she was never discharged. I'm praying for your family and positive news at your dad's appointment!
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SO...my family is chock full of cancer and generally they tell you right away if they suspect it's cancer, and before you get to the point of biopsies they tell you if they've found something suspicious (like, there must be a reason he is getting a biopsy) and if it looks cancerous. When my brother's colon tumor was found, they immediately said they biopsied it but that "it didn't look good", so we weren't surprised when they officially said it was cancerous.
But, as a disclaimer, sometimes people get really terrible treatment and nothing in the american health system really shocks me any more. When my dad and brother both had different kids of cancers, the doctors worked so quickly. But I just had an uncle pass this weekend from melanoma that spread to his liver and his doctors were awful and would drag their heels on every little test (they'd say he needed say, a CT scan and then schedule it 3 weeks from then, and then cancel his appointment and reschedule 2 weeks after that, when obviously, cancer is something you want to start treating ASAP.)
I hope it's nothing.
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I'm pretty sure my MIL's aunt called her with her test results. I hope your dad's appt gives him a treatable diagnosis!
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@jedeve: my mom said that one specialist wanted to talk to another specialist and they want to talk to my dad on Monday. My best guess was they might be figuring out treatment options? He has been a heavy smoker my whole life so I'm expecting the worst.
I just don't understand how after several days in the hospital (blood tests, sputum tests, chest scan, etc.), and two lung procedures, they still don't know anything! He's laying around looking and feeling awful and taking Tylenol for a fever, that's it! -
@Ginabean3: I'm sorry for the loss of your dad
@loki: thanks
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@Anagram: they did see something in his lungs on some kind of X-ray/scan. I don't know if I'm getting the full story from my mom. She slipped the term "inoperable mass" in conversation today at lunch and when I google that nothing but cancer comes up. After the two procedures the doctors have said things like "not enough data" and "inconclusive."
I also fear it might be a scenario like your second paragraph. He looks like he's dying to me and they have been incredibly slow to schedules procedures and appointments.
I'm sorry you have had so much experience with this in your family, but thanks for sharing -
It took a while before MIL got her official diagnosis. Basically, like your scenario they needed the lab to test the results. Then the Labs were sent to various specialist that seemed like like the most likely culprits.
MIL was told in person by the specialist at the cancer Institute. can't remember the exact title but they're the ones that run the testing. But not like breast or lung specialist.
P. S. As soon as they suspected it was cancer things moved very very fast. Like she was admitted into the hospital very next day for monitoring and surgery.
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I know a lot of doctors who prefer to meet with patients in person to discuss the results rather than by phone. Many times there are a ton of questions to be answered, and at the very least a plan of treatment has to be discussed and implemented.. something that's not always super easy to do over the phone. That being said, in our office we always squeezed patients in the same day their results came back (next day at the latest). In my experience it's never that doctors are being lackadaisical or withholding information to be cruel ... they just want to make sure you get ALL of the information you need, and that you have a support system in place when you get the news because everyone reacts differently.
In our area (upstate NY) the oncologists were always super booked and it was usually 5-10 days before you could get into see someone after a cancer diagnosis. I was usually the one scheduling the referrals and it was awful telling patients they had to wait that long but there was nothing I could do.
This is all worst case scenario and I truly hope you don't have to deal with any of this! Just wanted to give you a heads up from the other side of things.
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@regberadaisy: thanks for sharing your MIL's story. I know that different doctors are consulting each other and discussing results. There is a pulmonary specialist involved and a "intensivist"? Pneumonia, and tuberculosis were ruled out during his hospital stay.
@thismustbetheplace: thanks for that perspective. I definitely would want to receive such news in person and ask a million questions, etc. and I'm sure the doctors want to have a really thorough grasp on what's happening before talking to patients too! I just hope we get some answers soon
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@cmomma17: You've already received a lot of fantastic advice, so I just wanted to send some
and positive thoughts your way.
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@Synchronicity: thank you! @mae: and you too!
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I'm an oncology NP-- if he already has an appointment on Monday, I think the doctors will wait to give news (either way good or bad) until that appointment. Most docs don't like giving news over the phone
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@ChitownRo: thanks. I hope we will know either way Monday. When he had his last procedure Thursday they said they didn't know anything and he'd have to come in again for another procedure at a future date (tbd). Then Friday they called and said "come in on Monday to see the doctor."
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@cmomma17: An intensivist is really just an internal medicine doc. How did they biopsy, with a needle? Needle biopsies can be notoriously poor; however, the alternative is open surgery. It is possible they don't have good path to review, which is why they are dragging their heels. It sounds like they are conferring with colleagues. I don't mean this to sound offending at all, but your mom might know a little more than she is letting on. She might be waiting to get the final opinion of the doc before they tell you. They would almost certainly tell your father what they suspect before they discharged him. When my FIL had cancer, it took awhile for the enormity of the situation to filter down to DH.
And if I knew a patient had cancer, I would call them then spend as long on the phone with them as they needed. In my opinion, making them wait is trading one torture for another.
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@Espion: thanks for that! I am not offended at all, and my mom not giving the full story is very possible. She hasn't acted like this is a big deal at all, so she may be hiding something or be in denial. When he was in the hospital he was under isolation so I wasn't allowed to visit (pregnant). When I finally saw him last weekend he looked shockingly bad and something is clearly very wrong.
Both procedures were endoscopies I believe, the second with additional ultrasound guidance. He's also scheduled for a colonoscopy next week due to some bleeding and anemia issues.
I suspect cancer because I have been waiting my whole life to hear he has cancer (very heavy smoker). -
@cmomma17: I'm so sorry about your father. It's certa possible that he will get the results at his upcoming appointment. When I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I got the results over the phone. I didn't have a follow up scheduled at that point so I suspect that's why I was given the news over the phone.
In hindsight, I wish I would have had an appointment so I wouldn't have been alone getting life altering news. I was only 20, going to college an hour from home, so it took a while before my parents could get to me after I called them. I was too upset to call friends at that point.
I hope your dad is ok. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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@PointeShoesTutus: I'm so sorry you went through that alone!
so scary! I really think in person is best!
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@cmomma17: I know exactly what you mean
My dad is a 5 pack a day smoker. I'm not sure how he manages to fit them all in one day. I pray your dad gets definitive answers soon. -
@Espion: thanks friend!
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@PointeShoesTutus: I am so sorry, that is terrible way to get the news.
I also was in college and my parents actually had to have a friend (who was a doctor) call in and get my biopsy reports back ASAP. He gave the news to my parents who drove to college to tell me. Later that week we had the doctors apt where they were going to give me the news but we already had the results.
Depending on what the issue is they may not be super fast to jump and treat. It all just depends on what they are dealing with. One of the oncologists told me I shouldn't have withdrawn from college and I should have waited and finished out the semester.
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@T.H.O.U.: hugs to you! I can't imagine going through something like that in college!
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@cmomma17: I schedule new cancer patients (my job) and lung cancer patients always get in within 5 days. And it really pisses me off when I get a call from a doctor's office and they don't tell me that they haven't told the patient their diagnosis yet.
But yet, some doctors wait to tell the patient in person--which seems like a nice thing to do, especially if they have scheduled the follow up and have it ready for the patient when they come in.
If you are worried, call and call again. Squeaky wheel gets the grease, after all.I'm praying for you.
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My grandma recently underwent all of the same types of things: hospitalized, biopsies, then home. She was told the results of her cancer at the next appt. Praying this isn't the case for you but that is how my grandma found out she had stage IV pancreatic cancer.
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@cmomma17: I have no experience with a cancer diagnosis, but I do have experience with a very ill parent. It is hard and heartbreaking. Sending you love and hugs friend
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Just an update. STILL no diagnosis today.
I'm going crazy. Of course my mom and dad probably are too! With some prodding my mom did say (via text) that they suspect either "a possible infectious thing. Or if not infectious, then cancer." The next step is to set up an appointment (?) with a thoracic surgeon, after his colonoscopy on Thursday (which is to locate a possibly unrelated GI bleed).
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@cmomma17: so sorry you are still waiting, that must be so frustrating. praying for good news and quick treatment
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@cmomma17:
I'm so sorry that you're still waiting. It's hard to cope/deal with something when you still don't even know what that something is! Hugs and prayers for your family. -
@cmomma17: oh my gosh. How frustrating! I hope he can get an appt asap!
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i am so sorry you are all going through this. i hope someone gives you some information soon. how frustrating.
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Thanks guys. I'm pretty sure my mom is not telling me everything. I talked to my sister last night and everyone is trying not to stress me out because I'm pregnant and because I'm the baby of the family (not working, majorly stressed!). I feel like the situation is probably very dire. Likely cancer. I had a good cry in the shower last night and I'm not sleeping well at all.
My mom is not a big communicator at all, and she's dealing with the news in her own way by not telling anymore. My sister said not to push/pressure her. -
@cmomma17: I am so sorry. You are in a very difficult position.
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@cmomma17: Are you or your sister close by to your parents? Can someone offer to go to appointments with your parents?
My father had brain cancer. We knew he had a tumor when they did an emergency CT scan, and knew it was cancer pretty much as soon as the surgery was over.
We stressed to my parents that we would rather hear all the news, good or bad, than for them to not tell us stuff in an attempt to protect us. And either me or my sister went to a lot of appointments to take notes and remind our parents of questions (seriously, it helps a bazillion to write things down!) because when you're in the midst of all that stress and new things to deal with, it can really be hard to process.
I hope you can find a way to communicate more easily. I know it can be really difficult for all involved. ((HUGS))
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@MaryM: we actually all live just a few minutes away from each other. I think my dad would never want us at his appointments though, and my mom said she's not always back in the room with him. He's very old fashioned/stubborn/private. Plus my sister and I both have LO's and work full time outside the home so I'm not sure if we could help. I definitely will if I can/if they let me.
My sister said she would emphasize to my mom that we both want ALL the news.
I'm sorry about your dad -
@cmomma17: My father was very much the same at first. I hope you all can find out something that works best for your (whole!) family!
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UPDATE: My dad had another procedure today and thankfully I was there (on my lunch break) with my mom and aunt when the surgeon told us that yes, it is Cancer. Stage 3B lung cancer that has spread into his lymph nodes.
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@cmomma17: I'm so sorry.
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@cmomma17: I'm so sorry.
I know it's hard.
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