Hellobee Boards

If I remember correctly (slash creepily), you honored your DH's family with a less popular (not top 1000) name. We did the same thing - we even used a middle name that was a family name for me (but pretty typical, top 10).

I'm not pregnant, but when we have the second we plan for the first name to honor my family (or at least a part of the name if we can't agree on the first). If we end up doing another name (like a middle) that honors his family, that's great, but I already feel like I'm (a) carrying on the last name and (b) pretty honored them with my son's name.

After reading this I'm not sure if it helps / makes sense, but hopefully so!

My kids have my IL's last name. They can have my family names in the first or middle position.

We used DH's dad's/grandfather's name as DS's middle name and my grandmother's name as DD's middle name

we never heard anyone complain

MIL didn't talk to us for a week after DD's birth because we chose to honor her ex-MIL (DH's grandmother). We basically told her to get over it, and that we in no way considered her or her feelings when naming DD (albeit, slightly nicer). I think ours was a bit of an extreme reaction, and while dramatic, ultimately was pretty easy to weather. She's still pissed, but it hasn't come up again since then.

This is why I'm only using a family name if it's a boy, since the name has special meaning to both sides. My mom would be the type to get upset if I honored my MIL but not her. Coincidentally, my MIL got really upset with my SIL when they honored her then husband's family (middle name was his deceased father's name) but didn't honor her maiden side with another name.

There's only so many children and so many names that can be used. Don't feel bad about not being able to honor all your loved ones.

I dont think you have to honor each family with every name. Especially if your children have DH's family last name. that should be enough

We gave my daughter my mom's middle name as her middle. I have no plans to do the same with my MIL if we have another daughter. I doubt she'd care but honestly, it wouldn't matter to me if I thought she did. Agree with many other posters that my kids are already getting their family name and you just can't honor everyone. I can't see myself using a name for one of my children to honor a person I am frankly not that close to, nor have I been particularly impressed with as a grandmother.

I worry about this, too. We honored a very dear aunt of mine with DD's middle name, and I feel like we "owe" DH's family the next middle name. Ha! I know that's ridiculous, but I'm always worried about offending someone. Luckily, there are good options to choose from. However, my main worry is that if it's a boy (I kind of doubt it will be, but we're TG so who knows) my MIL will get mad because it's a name from FIL's side, not hers. Blah.

All that to say--your choices are totally fair, but I understand the guilt even if it's unwarranted. You don't owe anybody anything! Your babies--your names. Good luck!