Hellobee Boards

That's a terrible thing to say! Did you even ask about her experience or is she one of those who just gives it unsolicited?

For what it's worth, I did not feel that way at all. I will admit that adjusting to life with baby was way harder than I could have ever imagined, but... most everyone in my life was amazingly supportive and they tried to help/make things as easy as possible for me.

Please don't worry too much! Even with the downsides of life with a new baby, there's honestly not much you can do to prepare since it's such a big, new, all-consuming experience, you know? That said, you will be just fine!

What she didn't mention is that most people tend to identify with their kids... so when people ask about them, it doesn't feel so bad!

@eiko2010: That's good advice. I try and do the same! Babies are cute, but they are hard work and I think it means a lot to parents when people are concerned about how they're doing/coping with everything.

I was told that A LOT before I had my LO. amazingly enough people still ask how "my family" is- grouping us together

@penguin917: I was on very strict bedrest - laying on left side, getting up for bathroom only, kept getting hospitalized, etc. - for the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy. NO ONE ever asked how I was doing/feeling, it was all "is the baby here yet?" "can't wait to see you once the baby's here!". It felt pretty awful. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
I'm a very active person, I can't sit still, always have a full schedule, etc. and bed rest was like a prison sentence. It really messed with my mind, made me depressed and lonely.

I definitely noticed that people ask more about her than myself (well, aside from close family and friends!) but that I don't mind because her well-being is a reflection of how I'm doing. I feel so proud to be able to say that she's gaining weight (I'm EBF-ing when I didn't want to in the first place), and when people say she's cute it feels great!

That's ridiculous. When i talk to my friends they always ask, "how are you and DD doing?" and then ask how the hubster is doing. Also, i'm not offended when people ask about DD because i know they are just showing an interest in someone who's important in my life. Don't worry, you won't be mud!

Balderdash!!! People are just as worried about the new momma as they are about the new baby. Don't let that get to you, I promise there will be tons of support out there, and for sure here on the boards

I think it's true, but it's just the way things go. Like, your birthday isn't really important anymore (even to yourself!), the holidays are all for the kids, etc.

It's even worse for the dads than it is for the moms. People are always asking the hubs "How's HabesBabe and C?" and never ask about him... even when they're talking to him.

Not to scare you or anything, but it's true. On a more positive note, your world is suddenly 1,000% about your new baby so you don't even notice.

Congrats on your pregnancy btw! You know, there's something about being pregnant that makes some people have verbal diarrhea. I quickly learned who to ignore.

@pastemoo: So true, it's so easy to forget about yourself, but try not to!

It's kind of true, but it's not entirely, and not in the negative way she's letting on--and besides, you'll be all about your baby, too! I read an article recently that talked about the "pregnant princess and the post-partum pauper." In our society, we tend to really take great care of our pregnant women, follow up with them, help them out, provide wonderful medical care, but then, after birth, which is a HUGE deal emotionally and physically, we expect them to entertain guests, be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and understand how to do all these new motherly things with a newborn, as well as maintain a level of normalcy that just isn't possible right away. I'd say, don't let her comments get you down, just make sure you have a really wonderful network of support for after the baby is there, and have plenty of people willing to bring you meals--trust me! People WILL ask you how you are and offer to help. Accept the help and rest up a lot. Don't feel obligated to entertain if you're not up to it, and again, you won't mind so much that people are focusing a lot on your LO, because you will be over the moon about the baby, too

These days all I talk about is my little one. I don't do much that doesn't revolve around him. So I don't even notice.