Hellobee Boards

Hmm. Can you ask her why it is the important for her to compare herself to her friends, or why she think Sarah is so much better than she is? I typically have the best luck when I push into the issues instead of away from it. For example we just moved and my son is missing the old place but instead of talking up the new place I try to talk about the old place and how great it was and how it is normal to miss it. After a few minutes he moves on to talking about how he really likes this new house better my fear would be that if you remind her of all the ways she really is awesome she will still think it is a competition.

Also maybe some gentle boundary setting plus allowing small choices like OK I understand you want a long dress. We don't need a new dress right now. But when we need a new one of you can help pick it out.

@sunny: we totally have the same issue! I try to shift to reasons that we like our friends/why they like us that focus on internal qualities. So, "Sarah's dress might be longer, but you love her not because of her long dress but because of how kind she is. Remember how she shared her cupcake when you dropped yours? That was a kind thing. You are both kind to each other and that makes you good friends."

I am trying to counteract the emphasis on appearance or what we have as valuable vs the way we are and how we treat each other. May be a little bit of a high bar at this age but it is something!

I don't think comparison necessarily always means competition. My LO will often ask to do/have things like her friends simply because they all love each other and like to be the same. "Mama, I'm wearing my pink sandals today, Sarah has pink sandals too, I hope she's wearing them today too so we match!!" (I do my best not to respond 'On Wednesdays we wear pink' because the hilarious reference would be lost on my toddler )

Anyway, all this to say, I don't think it's always a bad thing or something that needs to be 'corrected'