Could you be friends with a mom if you disagreed with her parenting? For example, there is a mom that I have come in contact with at the park, who lets her little boy go crazy. He makes faces and taunts my daughter and she doesn't step in. DD has retaliated (sometimes physically) and I immediately put her in timeout so she knows that isn't appropriate behavior. But I get so irritated that the other mom doesn't stop her son from behaving that way, I don't think I could be friends with her because of this. Could you?
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hmmm idk...I would probably be friends with her still, but just not hang out with her very often.
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Shit no! How rude!
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@MamaBehr: no way!!
I think friends are also a support system, and if my friends didn't support my parenting (and my child) then the relationship would definitely fizzle out. It's also respect: I would never let my son hurt or tease another child in my presence and I also wouldn't allow someone to do that to my child.
I could be acquaintances with people different than me; but I couldn't ever be close friends with people who are different on multiple levels (parenting, beliefs, lifestyle etc).
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in that situation, i don't think i could be friends with someone like that because it's just just a parenting style but a lack of discipline that is effecting my kid directly.
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Maybe I could still be friends with her outside of the kids - like if we hung out without our children, but I probably wouldn't be able to do playdates with her or anything.
For example, I have a lot of good friends currently and they don't have kids, so I'd hate to lose their friendship if their parenting style didn't mesh with mine. Once we all have kids, I think we'd probably still want to hang out, we just would have to do adult-only get-togethers if our parenting styles clashed.
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we could be friends if we were already friends before but we would only hand out without our kids
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It would depend. In that example, no, because it's affecting my kid too. But if it was something more along the lines of letting their kid watch more TV or different programs than I thought were good, or letting them eat candy, things like that, yes, though I'd probably limit how much we hung out at her house vs my house or the park.
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I don't think so.
DH's BM has moved in with a woman with a toddler, and he's a tiny terror. They came up for our baby shower and we all went out to dinner and the kid was throwing food on he ground and screaming bloody murder.
Now I'm aware that toddlers can and will throw fits, but BM and his GF just sat and laughed and smiled like it was the cutest thing ever. Meanwhile DH is trying to calm the kid down and we're both kind of shrinking in our seats from embarrassment and trying to avoid the glares of the other patrons.
If it was DS acting like that, one of us will take him out to the car and the other will get our food to go/pay the bill. I refuse to subject other parents to that behavior.
There were other things she did that I really disagreed with as well. She's BM's GF, and even I have to admit I'm grateful they live in another state so that I don't have to be friends/friendly with her (which I would have to be if they lived closer).
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Nope. Unless we were already friends. Then I would have a polite talk with her.
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I don't think so, because in my book there is nothing worse than having to hang around someone's undisciplined child. And how often could you realistically see each other without kids? I just think that's the toughest situation. When I was growing up, other parents would step in and tell the child who's acting up to stop. But now it seems like nobody is allowed to say anything to another person's child. So it's unlikely you could really intervene to try and make the situation better.
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If I felt like her parenting was directly harmful to her child or my own then no I could not be friends with her. In the situation you described I would not be able to be friends with someone who allows their child to taunt mine. If someone just had a difference of opinion on something (breastfeeding vs formula, co-sleeping vs. baby going in the crib right away) that would be a complete a total non issue to me.
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In some situations, yes. I have a close friend who is too lax on disciplining her kid, and he pretty much yells until he gets what he wants. And hes been known to hit other kids with toys... Luckily, this is a close enough friend that doesn't mind if the rest of us guide her kid to do the right things (and he listens to the rest of us better anyway).
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In this situation, no.
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Heck no! I'd be polite but stay away from her (and her bratty kid)! Hehe
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nope.
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In your situation, no. If it were something like the other mom let her kid watch way more TV than I think is acceptable, I would still be friends, because that wouldn't directly negatively impact my child.
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Nope! Wouldn't want a poorly behaved child to influence my LO.
We plan on screening friends when she gets older too.
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@FutureMrsMcK: Man, that situation does not sound fun at all.
If they were interesting, and I wanted to get to know them better I would be friends outside our kids. If they're still kind of a random person then no probably not.
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Nopes! Wouldn't want them to hurt or influence my kid!
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If we had already been friends, I might stay friends with her. I would let her know I don't appreciate the way her kid treats mine though. If we weren't already friends, we wouldn't be, because I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing the behaviour.
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