My almost 2.5 year old has gotten regular screen time (a show or two a day) for nearly a year. Always at the same times with me during the week. But lately he has been getting upset when the show is over and demanding another....and even more recently throwing an all out tantrum if he does not get another. (Yesterday he threw his milk cup and a plate of eggs when I told him no). We have had a lot of changes the past 6 weeks (cross country move, lived with relatives for a month, new house...) so I'm guessing he is acting out because of that. But I'm going tv free for a bit to see if it helps. Has anyone had to cut screen time because of behavior? Did it work? We aren't a no tv house and won't ever be (have a new baby coming in a few months) but I'm hoping some time off from it will improve behavior.
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I know mr and mrs bee have cut scree time with great success!
My Lo also gets upset when his shows are over but his tantrums are very short--a min or two. If they were longer I would definitely consider cutting down on st as well!
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One of my nanny families was struggling with this. We unplugged the TV which meant the kids couldn't turn it on themselves and the parents could demonstrate it simply wasn't working.
Another issue was that the TV was close to the kitchen and the playroom was far away so it was easier for the parents to have them watch TV where they could be closely supervised as opposed to the other side of the house. At the end of my day there I would bring a toy to the TV room that they hadn't played with in awhile and the novelty of a new location and a forgotten you helped.
The other tricky time of day was early morning. We arranged the kitchen so the kids could get something easy to munch on (baggies of dry cereal usually) to hold them over until breakfast was made. I would also get a small art project ready and the parents would leave that on the kitchen table for them after the kids went to bed. It was always something simple and that required no help. Stickers and paper, white crayons and dark paper, color wonder markers etc- no mess and no help so mom and dad could get ready.
Finding ways to break the habit during the worst times of day was critical. After a week or two it became easy and we didn't need the extra help of the crutches. They were able to reintroduce a show here and there as a special treat too. I think not having TV linked to the routine at several points in the day was the biggest help.
The melt downs decreased enormously. Even though they literally never watched TV with me they were demanding it and melting down- especially after I arrived and turned it off. The kids eventually became better about independent play during the parts of day where it had been easier to turn on the TV.
Good luck to you!
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I heard once that tantrums are what happens when kids are overwhelmed by desire... and that's definitely true for our kids and screentime!
It takes a day or two to detox from screentime, but it's not too bad! We just keep them extra busy on those days and that helps a lot.
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I find the key is to keep them extra busy, but i know it's a lot harder when you are staying at home with them all day! I sometimes would give LO an option - do you want to watch your show, or do you want to go out for ice cream after dinner? She'll usually choose the more fun activity.
How many shows does he typically watch? I find that if you stick to one rule for a while (e.g., only one long youtube clip, or two short shows, etc.) they quickly accept it as the norm. I also tell her before the show that it's the only one she's getting and remind her that there's no crying after it's done. Then a couple of minutes before it's over i remind her this is the last one and the show is almost done.
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We have the same issue with books so no tv might help, but it might not...
I'm planning to create some kind of chart for D to put his 3 books choices on before bedtime. Maybe you can do the same for screentime? It has space for 2 shows, then a space for him to choose the activity after?
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@Mrs Green Grass: that's an interesting idea. The thing is, we have been reinforcing before the show that he can choose one and only watch one. And then we discuss that when the show is over there is no crying. And he agrees and says "yes mama no crying" but then melts down when the show is over anyways.
@Freckles: he gets one 20 min show in the morning while I cook breakfast or right after breakfast while I clean up. And then one usually right after his nap or while I make dinner. Though last week he was sick and he had a few days of lots of tv. Which might have caused the problem......
@mrbee: really interesting! How long did you take off from screen time before you re introduced it?
Today has gone well. He asked for a show in the morning and I explained that we couldn't watch one today because he gets too upset when the show is over. He whined for about 30 seconds but moved on and didn't ask again. His behavior is also overall better today but I focused on following his lead in what he wanted to do and didn't fight him on things. I had planned to go for a walk and to the playground with him this morning but he didn't want to get dressed and said he wanted to paint. So I let him paint and we stayed home. I know we can't do this every day but maybe he just needs some down time with me.
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So, I cut my son off from the ipad over this last weekend. He had misbehaved at school and I told him that the ipad was a reward and not a standard thing and that he wouldn't get to use it the entire weekend.
He asked for it a few times, and I just redirected him to something else. Another thing that we have recently done is to introduce a timer, that is helping him with transitions.
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@looch: I have started using the timer on other things and it seems to be helping too! Like if he doesn't want to change his diaper I ask him how many minutes he wants on the timer and when it goes off we will go change his diaper. He usually chooses 2 minutes
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@winniebee: haha, i love that!
My son actually turned off his ipad before the timer went off last night, I was stunned.
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I let D1 know that today she will only be watching one show. And after one show, it is time for something else. Then I make her repeat to me what the plan is. 9/10 times she gets it without a fuss.
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@winniebee: Haha, i couldn't help but laugh because LO will repeat that too, "no crying" but then cry afterwards anyways. There was a period of time where she got a lot of TV because we were buying/selling our home and needed her to be distracted while we talked to our agent. We also cut it off for a few days (once things normalized) and then reintroduced it with firm rules. Sounds like you had a better day today, so that's great!
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Yes! Screen time makes my kids so whiny! Our usage ebbs and flows based on their behavior and our schedule. They behave much, much better when there is zero screen time, but realistically with DH's schedule sometimes I just need that break. Regardless I like to save it for near the end of the day ( like pre dinner) so that if they do become whiney it is short lived until bedtime.
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@winniebee: Glad it worked today! I think a visual might help (even if it's just for one show. I think the key is picking the second activity so he already knows something "fun" with come after tv. Or maybe even a clock or timer than he can see getting shorter so he can prepare himself would help.
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