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That is not a vent, that is a legitimate complaint. When it comes to food allergies they should be following your wishes, end of story. Are you able to send in food for him and tell them that the only food he is allowed to eat is what is provided? That seems negligent to me to know about a serious allergy and then go ahead and feed a baby that anyway. What if he had a serious reaction?

I would've marched right into the director's office and had a shitfit. Completely unacceptable! What if his diary allergy WAS severe enough to send him into anaphylactic shock with a bite of pancake??? They need to be following your instructions to a T and taking his allergy seriously, they're not medical professionals.

I think the director needs to know, they could be this blatantly negligent with other children who have life-threatening allergic reactions. Allergies are not a game!

I am so sorry you're having to deal with this, I'm so infuriated on your and Xander's behalf.

I would be furious. Tell the director and/or get him out of there.

@Adira: Can I also say that even if you love his teachers, this is totally unacceptable behavior on their part and they need to know how incredibly dangerous it is for them to "experiment" like that.

Wow, I would have a serious talk with the ladies! They can't just try it without at least getting your consent.

Wow. I know you love his teachers but there's no way I'd be able to trust them with my child after this. I'd sit at my desk and worry all day about my LO.

What?! My kid would be out of there so fast. I'm sorry!

Holy cow, it's more than a little scary that they are so nonchalant about playing guinea pig with your kid. I'd be looking for a new daycare ASAP.

Okay, I could forgive one time if it happened on accident (it did for us) and I again expressed the importance of no eggs. BUT if they continued to do it I would be so fricken pissed, it's your child's life, his diet is not up to them. I would continue to bug that director, what if he would have went into shock?

(not excusing the daycare) However, my child did grow out of her egg, milk, and nut allergy at around 12 months, it might be something worth mentioning to your doctor about running another allergy test to see if he's growing out of it! You might be able to introduce these items back into his diet AT HOME and under very close supervision. It could help his diet return to a normal one Fingers crossed!

@Smurfette: I agree - they should be calling to hear the exact story, express apologies, and explain the efforts they are making to ensure that these teachers don't go rogue again.

The more I think about it - I just simply wouldn't be comfortable with my son being there anymore. I need to feel like what I say goes and if I say don't do something, that will be followed. I think these teachers are really crossing the line.

ETA: I would also be shocked if she didn't call you from simply the covering her ass perspective... can't you report them? I don't know much about daycare, but I would assume that you could take them the F down. Just writing a review of them on every review site could make a huge impact on their business. I feel like they are banking on that you are a nice person! Let the Mama Bear out and make sure that if you do leave him at this daycare that they DO NOT forget this incident.

@Adira: Okay, even though I don't have a little in daycare, if I called to talk to the director and the director didn't call me back? After I left a message and someone told me that they would have the director call me? I would be yanking my kid out of there so fast their head would spin and then be calling whatever authority I could to report the daycare. They are endangering my child and going against my (repeatedly) expressed wishes.

@Adira: You need to look at this as an example of the teacher's perspective about several things. This, along with all of your other complaints, seem like these teachers don't actually take safety very seriously, nor do they prioritize your son's needs. I realize that sounds dramatic- but this isn't just one little mistake they are making- it is evidence of their belief system and the way they run the childcare and provide care to YOUR son. If it wasn't this thing, it would be something else.
At this point either you accept the decisions they make, even when they go against your explicit directions, or you find a new childcare. They obviously think they know better than you about your son's needs. There will be more instances like this in the future, even if the director "talks to them."

I agree with previous posters: I would expect the director to call back for sure. If I didn’t hear from her by 2 or 3 today, I would call back again and ask/demand to speak to the director.

I would also seriously consider pulling him and putting him in a new daycare. IMO, this is really serious – not just because of what could have happened, but the mindset behind giving a child something you know he’s allergic to. It’s not like a difference of opinion where the consequences are small or nonexistent; having the mindset that it’s ok to give young children foods they have documented allergies to is a mindset I would NOT be ok with my child’s caregivers having.

I know it’s not as easy as pulling him immediately when you’ll need a new daycare, but I would start looking for one.

That is insane. I would be livid, and probably pull my child from that daycare asap.

That being said, if you really want to keep him there, I would try to really stress to them that your baby is allergic to dairy, as opposed to being "lactose intolerant" or similar. I think most people think that kids who are allergic to dairy will just get an upset stomach and nothing serious. They need to be hyper aware that anaphylaxis could occur.

Yeah, like the others, I really don't understand why you're hesitant to switch. Adira, this is your child's health they are experimenting with! I wouldn't be ok with people doing this to a pet of mine, much less my child. Your reluctance to switch him from a dangerous daycare because he loves his teachers so much is mind boggling to me.

This is absolutely not ok. I would be on the phone with new daycares today.

Wow I can't believe they felt ok doing that knowing what happened to him before! I babysit a boy with a peanut allergy, and I would never ever ever think it was ok to give him something with peanut butter in it!

I wonder if they think because it's milk it's not a real concern...but that would scare me even more! It is obviously a very seriously allergy for Xander!