We need help! I have a 3 week old infant who will only fall asleep when held. The swing doesn't work, and if we sit down, he wakes up! DH and I spend an hour and a half rocking him back to sleep during the night, and we're exhausted as he wakes every 3 hours to feed. He's too little for CIO. What should we do?!?! He's currently sleeping in the rnp, but we are switching to crib in a week.
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I wouldn't worry about creating a bad habit at 3 weeks! I had to rock my first DD to sleep a lot for the first few months! But then she grew out of needing this and I could just put her down in the crib drowsy, but awake every time. Have you tried doing this yet? It might not work every time, at this age, but it's worth a shot if it saves you some rocking time here and there! I was able to do it with DD2 consistently by 5 weeks, but every baby is different since I couldn't do this with my first DD.
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Don't worry about it! You can't create bad sleep habits in a newborn. I'm sorry it's taking so long to get the baby down though. I would take a look at the 5S's on YouTube. Also the swing and rock and play helped us greatly.
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We rocked to sleep for the first 10 weeks at least, then slowly weaned off of it. It's no fun at all, but do what you have to do to get a little sleep in the first few weeks. No such thing as bad habits before 12 weeks!
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3 weeks is such a crazy age, I wouldnt worry about bad habits until closer to 3 months but I would keep trying to set her down
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Follow his lead and do what you have to do for him to sleep. I held my baby pretty much all day and night for the first 12 weeks and she's a great sleeper (in her crib) now at 9 months. I still rock and nurse her to sleep sometimes and it hasn't caused any long lasting bad habits. Please read up on infant sleep so you realize your baby is being a normal baby. Adjusting your expectations helps a lot. Babies are little cavemen. Think how cavemen used to be with their babies - mom was always around, they all slept together, etc. that's what babies still want and need.
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I think it's normal, and when your baby is a little more alert, you can start getting her to fall asleep faster and faster. I say do what you have to do until about 8 weeks. My baby slept on me at that age and I started putting her in the crib at about 5-6 weeks.
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Totally normal. The newborn phase is all about survival, so do whatever it takes for your baby, you and your SO to get some sleep!
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You're in the 4th trimester, your baby still wants to be in the womb.
Do what you need to do to get through the trenches and everything will be fine. I think people worry a little too much about creating "bad habits" even in older babies. Trust your gut and do what feels right.
I have a 4 month old and I truly wish I watched the happiest baby on the block video earlier. We watched it at 6 weeks and since we implemented the 5Ss she has been sleeping like a dream.
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I wish I had some advice for you! Hang in there mama!!
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Normal! I think I held LO for most naps until 4-5 months when I sort of nap trained. It was kinda great though because i would get to sit on the couch and catch up on shows.
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Regardless of whether it's creating a bad habit for the baby, it's unacceptable for you the parent. You are going to burn out very quickly if you keep this up, and that will ultimately be harmful to you both. So I'm going to be the naysayer and insist that there are times when "following the baby's lead" is not always wise.
Have you tried the 5 S's (it's on YouTube)? Are you swaddling him? It's not CIO to lay him down just after he eats and quietly watch him to see if he can settle down to sleep. There's a big difference between full-on crying and fussing, you know? Some babies need to fuss and squirm a little before settling down for sleep.
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No bad habits at three weeks. Survive however you need to and worry about sleep habits in a few months.
Hugs mama, it will get better. -
I agree there is no such thing as spoiling a newborn, and really you just have to survive right now. However, the more you are able to diversify methods to get him to fall asleep now, the happier you'll be in a month. We told ourselves that DS would only fall asleep being bounced on an exercise ball because that was the easiest thing. Fast forward to 4 months and that thing was the bane of our existence because we'd taught DS that was the only way to fall asleep. So if there is a way to survive while rocking sometimes (both you and DH), putting him in the carrier and walking, rocking in the RnP, etc I do think you'll be better served in the end. Good luck, it all passes eventually.
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He is only a 3 week old baby!!! There is no such thing as spoiling a 3 week old. He will grow and eventually will be able to be put down. It totally normal for him to only fall asleep in arms. Sleep is developmental just like motor skills and eating. Just give him time.
If the rnp works why not keep using it? We had one that vibrated also. I'd put the baby in it after feedings when he was still sorta sleepy with the vibration and rock it while I laid in bed. He'd fall asleep like that. We used the rnp at night until he was about 8 weeks. He then transitioned to the crib no problem.
I second the 5 S's. Worked great with both my boys! They'd be out in minutes.
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Another one seconding the notion that there is no such thing as a bad habit with a three week old! They need snuggles and comfort so by all means, give him as much as you can and don't worry that you'll still be doing the same thing a year from now. It takes at least six weeks for newborns to start to settle down a bit and in the meantime, you do what you can to make life easier for everyone. Hugs mama, it does get easier!
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I agree with the other posts. Do what works right now, he's so little. For the first month or so my son would only sleep on me. But little by little he would sleep in smaller chunks in the RNP until he would sleep on his own.
Heck at 7 months my son still sleeps on me for all naps when we're at home!
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Are you swaddling?
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@Skadi: Thanks for the input!! You are correct in that we will not last very much longer on this schedule. The good news is that there are two of us, and I'm FF, so DH can really help out a lot...and he does!
Thank you so much to everyone for reassuring me that this is normal. I know that it's normal, and that he is still so young. I guess I was looking for a better answer if there was one other than rocking him for 90 minutes! I like the idea of changing it up. Yes, we are swaddling him. We watched the 5 S's video before he was born. This helps when he is crying, but at night, he's calm...just awake...unless of course we put him down.
I guess we just have to wait it out for a few more weeks and hope that it gets better.
Thanks again for the feedback!
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@Mrs. BD: I would keep throwing options at your LO and hopefully youll end up with lots of tricks in your arsenal that work! Having only one go-to is tough. What doesn't work now may work in two weeks (like the swing! It wasn't a winner right off the bat for us!)
and what works now may not work in a couple weeks lol! If you're burning out, by all means, keep trying!!
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Agree with PPs. The first few months are hard, but they are also hard on baby. Things will get better! Just keep pushing through. You got this
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Normal! Try to enjoy the closeness and remember it's temporary. He'll be too big to hold before you know it. I doubt we'll look back twenty years from now and regret the time spent holding our newborns.
ETA: It may also help to throw out your expectations of what should be happening and just refocus on what is actually going on. Like maybe you want a certain bedtime but since you say he's content maybe he's just not tired yet when you're doing all that rocking?
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@Mrs. BD: I found the three week mark to be the worst. I barely survived that week! We did a lot of rocking/walking in the first month or so, and was able to get LO1 down drowsy but asleep at 10 weeks. You can start trying to put your LO down drowsy but awake now, but if you want it to work you have to be consistent and commit to trying for 1 week (at least)! Do you have a carrier? I find that helps getting through the day - I can get some things done and baby can nap.
and what works now may not work in a couple weeks lol! If you're burning out, by all means, keep trying!!
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