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Aww... {{{HUG}}} hon. I don't quite know what kind of advice to give you. I would just imagine being so close to the end of the pregnancy that there would just be a lot of stress, emotions, fear, anxiety, and hormones running rampant?
I don't know if I'm a "good communicator" or whatnot, but I have learned over the years that when I bring up an issue or problem I'm having with my SO, that when I do it in a more low, kind of timid voice and during a calm moment when the issue is not presently in front of us - that I get a much better response and attention to whatever is bothering me. This is versus the yelling, "I want your attention now!", screaming matches of my youth. lol. IDK if that helps at all, but maybe the two of you could benefit from a nice evening out, just focused on the two of you. It would be nice now since you only have a couple of weeks left "just the two of you" and it will never be the same again after baby comes? hth

I would highly suggest you consider going to a counselor together for a few sessions. An impartial third party can be tremendously helpful to both of you. My husband and I do marriage check-ups every few years with a counselor to make sure things are going well and we don't have any communication barriers or issues popping up.

I don't have advice, but wanted to say you aren't alone in not being a great communicator and coming from a family that avoids conflict to the point that we can fall down on communication. It's something I see in my parents and have to actively try to avoid, but sometimes it still happens and then all comes out at once. I get it.
However, while I don't think being pregnant gives you free reign to be as awful as you want, I do think that you deserve a LOT of leeway being 9 months pregnant. Doesn't seem like the best time for a "serious talk" but at the same time, it will be easier to talk now than in a few weeks. I'm guessing he is under more stress with the baby coming soon than he admits.

(hugs) You definitely deserve a pass for whatever happens when you're 37 weeks!!!!

The only advice I have would be to never, ever ever bring serious topics to email. I know this works for some couples because the other person can 'think about it' or whatever before responding, but if you're specifically trying to improve communication, do it in person whenever possible. I know that's scary when you dislike confrontation (i used to and spent years getting over it), but the whole thing will likely be over faster and go more smoothly if you just talk face-to-face instead of stewing over email first, misunderstanding tone, etc that comes with that form of 'conversation'.

hope all goes well tonight keep us posted!

@JoJoGirl: I agree. One of the biggest lessons I learned this year after a horrendous fight with my parents where we didn't speak for months, is that we need to only communicate about serious topics on the phone or in person, where we can hear each other's inflection and tone and not make an assumptions.

I agree with others who have mentioned couples counseling. Perhaps not right now since you're still preparing for the baby. My husband and I went to couples counseling for a little while after we had our first. They really helped facilitate a healthy conversation. I, too, have problems communicating stemming from our lack of communication in my family growing up. I think it will be a work in progress for us for a long long time. Good luck to you guys and the baby!

Whenever we need to talk about something serious, we "schedule it" so we can both come prepared. I'm much better at writing out how I'm feeling, then talking about it in the moment. So, what I do is write down what I see as the issues, what I think could be causing them, and an action plan to make it better.

DH and I often found ourselves in the "let's try harder" category for everything - you know "Let's try harder to stay on budget next month". Finally, I pointed out that we keep "trying harder" but we haven't defined what that looks like or a plan to make it happen. So, last month I told him that we would write down every purchase as we made it, stick to only buying "needs" and if there was money leftover at the end of the month, we could buy some "wants". And what do you know, we stuck to our budget.

I think the same thing could work with whatever you guys are going through. Since communication seems to be one of the problems, maybe say you'll start scheduling a set time to (calmly) discuss things that have cropped over over the week and present solutions. It's going to be a necessary skill once the LO is here.

And I've also tried to be better at telling DH we need to take things "off line" - since both of us work and we only have a few hours at the end of the day, it's easy to rattle off an email that ends up getting miscontrued, then having a heated argument. When I find I'm about to fly off the handle, I write back "I think this is something that we should talk about tonight. Come prepared with what you think is happening, I'll come prepared with what I think is happening and we'll figure out what the disconnect is."

I'm terrible with advice: just wanted to show support to a fellow October mama.....All I know is: You're frustrated, tired and anxious and so is he (in his own way). Pregnancy will do a number on a relationship! Especially towards the end. I think you guys will be fine and absolutely happy: why not? You've got a baby on the way:)))....Good luck honey! *huuuuugs*

In our relationship I like to have talks and DH isnt a bit talker but we try to counsel ourselves somewhat when are both calm and each person has to admit what they can do better to help the situation

i don't think couples counseling means that something is wrong with the relationship at all! no two human beings can get along perfectly, and a third party can really help with communication skills. you could view it as analogous to getting a wedding coordinator--doesn't mean something's wrong with the wedding, but it's a really really nice thing to have that can help things tremendously!

Agree with PPs... just wanted to send you my good thoughts! Hope it goes well tonight!!

@HELLOBEEBOSTON You sound just like me I let it build hoping things will change and then one day (BOOM!) the bomb will go off followed by diarrhea of the mouth.

I have been seeing a counselor off and on again for the last 2 years. Usually we each go separate and then together later in the week. I think it works better this way then there is not so much pressure on us when we go together.

With that being said I agree with CHOPSUEY119, I would seek guidance BEFORE the baby comes. Once that baby comes...well I'm sure you have heard the stories. Anything you can do now before the baby comes just gives you guys that little extra boost.

Hope things went well last night!

@hellobeeboston: How did things go??

Updates part 2?!