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My MIL does and when I've nicely tried to get LO back, MIL told me that its her right as a grandmother to spend as much time as she can with her when we're in the same vicinity.

@littlek: If my LO had just gotten out of the NICU, that woman would have met the Devil. It's a pretty simple rule - look but don't touch . . . and keep your hands to yourself!

My mil did. But I didn't really mind, it's all such a blur looking back. I do think that next time around I won't want any visitors to stay too long at once though, it makes the hospital stay a little stressful (unless it's like your mom or something) imo.

Lol mslipgloss! Strangers touching my kid would make me rage! So far, nobody has tried, though.

But yeah, car seats aren't safe. What happened tp leaving a sleeping baby?! And when she was snoozing in her seat in the living room during dinner, my MIL dragged it into the kitchen because it "made her nervous" for her to be in the living room. UM her being in the middle of the kitchen FLOOR made me nervous, that's why I had her out of the way!

I really don't get it.

@Arden: Yeah, it happened while LO was facing me in her carrier . . . so the stranger approached me from behind.

@.twist.: @MsLipGloss: Yes NOTHING is a safe zone. People will open up carseats, uncover blankets, lean over your table at a restaurant.... For some reason people think that babies are communal property!

ok, after reading all the comments and the post here's the plan I propose:

When your MIL comes, put your game face on. Be prepared to be stern when it's time to take the baby back. Cause no, Gramma doesn't get first dibs, Mama does.

Second, tell your mom to put HER game face on and not let your MIL drive you and your family crazy about it. Don't let your mom be too nice to say anything.

Third...I think you need a bold friend with you as much as possible when dealing with your MIL. Your hubby might have to be the bold person, cause even though you can be stern, you shouldn't have to be the stern one every time.

I can't stand baby hogs. I don't even like 5 year old hogs...my MIL gets like that with my son, and it drives me up the wall. She spoils him and lets him do whatever around her and there's a lot of "don't tell mama" involving soda and other junk. Luckily, my husband helps me stand ground with her.

@Dandelion: Target of all places. Lol, the look on her face was priceless! I *look* harmless enough.

@grizz: Mama...ooooh...I would be on the phone telling her that Mama isn't gonna fly. Maybe you should nip this all before LO shows up. Really...maybe instead of her telling you HER expectations, you lay down yours.

@grizz: she wore a corsage to YOUR shower?!?! Oh mannn that just takes the cake
And aghhhh I just saw that she signed your guestbook "Mama". NO WAY JOSE NO WAYYYYYYY

@grizz: Good for you! She doesn't get to call shots...you do, cause you're the real mama...let us know how it goes!

@grizz: I would focus all of my efforts trying to teach the baby to call your MIL by the grandma name she disliked the most then. Your MIL is nuts.

A corsage? Was she going to prom after your baby shower?

@grizz it sounds like you and your MIL need to have a heart to heart. I don't think it's necessarily something you have to make your DH do, she is now your family, too, and will always be in your life and your baby's life, so she's not only your husbands responsibility. It sounds like she has been generous in some ways and you don't want to discourage that (who would!?) but i think there are ways you could talk to her without pissing her off.

Maybe do a cute shopping trip together and go pick out any baby stuff you still need after your shower/get coffee, whatever and have a civil conversation. Tell her you're so excited for her to be in your baby's life, but there will be some groundrules. Make it clear that it's not just HER, but everyone will be expected to follow certain requests (you can leave out the part that most people do it naturally out of respect/common sense). Let her know that you and your husband will be your babies primary caregivers and you're so excited for this new role in your life. You can't wait to see your husband be a dad and you to be a mom, and you're glad she'll be the grandma, but she has to respect that these things are new and important for you both as parents. As long as it doesn't turn into a fighting match and you acknowledge she WILL be involved in your kids life, I think it would be much better to get it out ahead of time then let resentment grow and have consistent power struggles.