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Did anyone NEVER sleep train their baby?

  1. travellingbee

    hostess / papaya / 10219 posts

    I sleep trained my oldest but it was horrific and it didn't stick. We said never again. So we just dealt with his issues. My youngest is a much better sleeper, anyway, so it really wasn't necessary.

  2. Kemma

    grapefruit / 4291 posts

    No sleep training here but I do believe in good sleep hygiene and giving babies / toddlers opportunities to settle themselves. Both of my children were great sleepers as infants but didn't give up a night feed until they were 18-24 months old.

    for me I found that the anxiety over sleep and the worry about whether we were doing it "right" (nursing to sleep, bed sharing when needed) was far worse than the actual sleep deprivation and night waking. Once I gave up worrying about it and just gave into it life got much easier!

  3. Cherrybee

    papaya / 10570 posts

    I haven't with either of mine, really. I wanted to with #1, I really believed in it, but I never felt like the time was right (sickness, teething, developmental milestones) and even a small amount of crying would result in her vomiting in her crib. If she woke, only a feed would help her settle. E was 23 months before she slept through at all and she was almost 3 before she STTN consistently. #2 has been a more typical baby and she does fuss for a bit before falling asleep. The best thing for S is to let her settle herself at bedtime but if she wakes in the night I feed her to get her to settle - she's 1 in a few days and not STTN consistently.

    So, in summary, no I didn't sleep train either of mine and they've both been terrible sleepers. Make of that what you will!

  4. ustechie

    apricot / 358 posts

    I'm adamantly against sleep training, so we didn't with either of my 2 boys. Both were terrible sleepers with multiple night wakings, but they eventually figured it out. My older one is now 5 and has absolutely no issues going to sleep on his own. My younger one is just over 2 and is finally STTN (probably just jinxed myself!) more often than not. They're my babies and I would never leave them to wonder why mama isn't coming to them when they need/want me.

  5. sapphire

    nectarine / 2173 posts

    @ustechie: sleep training means a lot of different things to different people. Just because someone else chose to work on sleep habits with their child doesn't mean they don't respect me to their child's needs. I think it's important to answer the OP's question about how sleep went if you chose not to train and not to turn it into a judgement about those who choose differently.

  6. sarac

    pomelo / 5093 posts

    Never with my first, tried it with my second, but she clearly needed to eat over night at 8 months, so it was pointless. My now kindergartner either sleeps all night, or crawls into bed with us early in the morning. The 20 month old goes down in the rooms she shares with her sister, and then wakes some time after midnight to finish the night in our bed.

    Either way, it's not a big deal. I don't object to sleep training of the mild crying for a few nights type, but I'm pretty highly opposed to really letting a child cry it out. It worked fine for our family to never do it, as I think it does for many (most) others.

  7. ustechie

    apricot / 358 posts

    @sapphire: i did answer the OP's question and didn't chastise anyone for doing what they felt was best. i simply stated MY opinion on the subject; seems like you judged me for it and are making an issue where there isn't one to be made.

  8. agold

    grapefruit / 4045 posts

    I just came back to look at these responses as I'm rocking my baby during what looks like a third sleepless night for me. These are all very encouraging. I do try to let her mildly cry. I know we will figure this out. Must. Keep. Positive. eta: thanks for all these responses. I'm not opposed to sleep training at all. Maybe I'll end up doing it. But I just haven't yet.

  9. katsupgirl

    nectarine / 2280 posts

  10. Modern Daisy

    grapefruit / 4187 posts

    We did with lo #1 because he woke every hour to eat and it was driving us batty with sleep deprivation but lo#2 was a pretty good sleeper from day 1 so we didn't try as hard. It really did work with #1 and was life changing. #2 on the other hand screamed for over 2 hours whenever we tried so we just gave up. He is 9 months and still wakes once for a bottle and it's much easier for us to deal with that than sleep train.

  11. agold

    grapefruit / 4045 posts

    @katsupgirl: thank you so much for sharing that. It was the perfect thing to read right now. I'm wondering if my baby is teething too. Although, no teeth in sight! She just wants to be held these last few nights. I'm tired and have even said I'll let her cry it out tomorrow. But maybe I'll hold off one more day! I do love holding this angel baby.

  12. chibee

    pear / 1974 posts

    Never - my son is almost 3 (August) and we still cosleep, and have been since he was 8 weeks old. Prior to that, he slept in a swing in the living room in 2-3 hour intervals. One night, I was so exhausted I put him in bed with me and he slept through the night! we never looked back. Of course, the most major drawback is he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep still, he needs me next to him. but he has been a pretty good sleeper ever since! idk if it counts since I'm in the bed with him the whole time... but he's been sleeping through the night since 2 months old with a few minor regressions here and there. honestly though, I will sleep train the next one and not bed share bc as lovely as it is, it is a big pain sometimes!

  13. californiadreams

    pomegranate / 3411 posts

    i did my own version of sleep training with DS1 at 13 months. I let him cry for a max of 10 minutes. i think we did it for 3 nights. We did it because he wasn't falling asleep anymore and bedtime was taking up to 2 hours. It worked, but i always felt guilty about it. In hindsight, i wish i just laid down in bed with him until he fell asleep, because we started doing that with him when we moved into our house and into a regular bed. And have been since he was 2.5 years old. he is now 4.5.

    So with DS2, i said no form of sleep training and now we cosleep. he wakes up a lot but has some good nights and has had some weeks/months of less wake ups. cosleeping works because i maximize my own sleep. i didn't plan on it but it just happened because when i went to go nurse in the night, i kept falling asleep with him and never put him back in his crib. So now he starts the night in his crib, and the first wake up that happens after i went to sleep myself, i end up sleeping the rest of the night with him.

  14. agold

    grapefruit / 4045 posts

    @chibee: Last night I tried to bring my baby into bed with me. Since her current issue is that she falls to sleep fine, but cries shortly after I put her down. I found that having her in my bed was almost more uncomfortable than sitting in the rocker with her all night!

    @californiadreams: what would you do after the 10 minute mark if you baby was still crying?

  15. californiadreams

    pomegranate / 3411 posts

    @agold: the plan was to go see him and pick him up. The first night i remember he cried for 7 minutes, similar the second i think. And i think one of the nights we let it go for 20 mins because it was off an on - like he stopped crying before 10 minutes, was okay for a few, then started again and stopped in less than 10 again. i was caught off guard when that happened and didn't know what to do. he was far from being a perfect sleeper or going to sleep on his own after that, but it did improve i guess. but like i said, he is 4 years old now and we stay with him in his bed every night telling stories until he falls asleep, so i kind of feel like the training was for nothing and i wish i never did it. There have been nights when we can't stay with him and he falls asleep on his own too, so he is capable, but between DH and I, we are okay to stay with him.

  16. agold

    grapefruit / 4045 posts

    @californiadreams: Got it. Yes, the off and on fussing is a tough one to figure out what to do. I, personally, wouldn't have a problem laying with my LO to help them fall asleep if LO stayed asleep thereafter! Although I would like LO to be able to fall asleep so that if we have friends over, I don't have to disappear for a super long period of time.

  17. californiadreams

    pomegranate / 3411 posts

    @agold: yes i get that. Luckily now that DS1 is older, DH or I can equally put him to bed. DS2 is another story. He is almost 14 months and sometimes it is still only me that can settle him back down. and he needs to nurse every night to go to sleep. i can't remember when DH was able to put DS1 to sleep by himself without my help at all. i am ready for it to be soon though!

  18. maggierose

    olive / 60 posts

    No, I never had to. My son was exclusively breast fed and sleapt through the night occasionally starting at three months although he would occasionally wake up once or twice here and there between three and six months. A quick nursing session and he would go right back down. For the most part he slept twelve hours consistently starting around 5/6 months I think?? There were times we put him down and he would fuss or cry but I would wait a couple minutes and he would almost always settle himself - same with middle of the night waking l. I always gave him 5 minutes or so and if he didn't settle I'd go to him but I do not consider that sleep training.

  19. agold

    grapefruit / 4045 posts

    @maggierose: Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I do like the idea of letting baby fuss a bit before going to her. I do wait a little bit, I just never know how long to keep waiting and feel it out each time. I always nurse my baby. After three bad night, last night was better. (not good, but much better) I think she was learning a new trick - rolling to tummy - and needed to figure it out. Here's hoping!

  20. catlady

    grapefruit / 4988 posts

    This thread is interesting to me because I have had one bad sleeper (LO1) and one good sleeper (LO2), but if I never had LO2, I would never have understood how anyone could get by without sleep training. LO1 never slept more than a 4 hr stretch by 4 months, then after her 4 month regression, it got to the point where she literally woke every hour. We tried co-sleeping, gentle methods, every type of sleep gear (Merlin suit, etc) and nothing worked. DH and I were literally starting to lose our minds from sleep deprivation and LO1 was so tired all the time. When we finally sleep trained, it worked in 3 days and she became such a happy baby. She still woke 2-3 times per night to nurse, but that felt wonderful to me at the time. Even after sleep training, she didn't STTN until 10 months and I figured people who said their babies STTN at 2 months or whatever were just exaggerating.

    Then we had LO2 and at first his sleep was just as bad as hers, but after 6 weeks it improved so quickly that he actually STTN a few times by 3 months. He's just gone through the 4 month regression, and for him, it meant going from 1-2 wakeups per night to 2-4 wakeups. So basically his sleep right now is as good as LO1's was AFTER we sleep trained. Last night I heard him wake up and just put himself back to sleep after about 10 minutes. He didn't even cry, he just kind of moved around a bit. I don't know yet if we will need to sleep train, but part of me suspects that we may not have to, which just amazes me.


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