Bee and I both wanted the same number of kids, thank goodness. If she wanted more than two, I'm not sure how we would've resolved that!
Did you and your SO agree on family size?
Bee and I both wanted the same number of kids, thank goodness. If she wanted more than two, I'm not sure how we would've resolved that!
Did you and your SO agree on family size?
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Yes, so far. I kinda sorta want a 4th but I think he will be done after 3.
eggplant / 11287 posts
Yes. we were both in the "threeish" camp. I'm pregnant with #3!
cantaloupe / 6059 posts
Yeah, we both want 3 or 4 deep down but on challenging days with our two we sometimes say aloud that we're fine being done already.
clementine / 928 posts
Ehhhhhhh, We're part of the camp of "we'll see how we feel when we have 1"! DH comes from a family with 4 kids and I have only 1 sister and we are not close AT ALL, so, I'm fine with 1-2 and he was thinking more 2-3-4 lol.
I am the more rational part of this relationship so I see us compromising at 2
pomelo / 5607 posts
He's okay with none, absolutely no more than two. I used to want three, so we planned on two. Now I'm leaning very strongly towards one and done, and he's totally happy with that. I'm so glad it's not something we disagree about.
pineapple / 12053 posts
We both came from families with 3 kids, so that was an easy thing for us to agree on so far!
pomegranate / 3706 posts
Yep, and I made sure we discussed it and agreed, before we got married.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Yep, we both definitely wanted two, and kept an open mind on a third. We're most likely two and through though.
nectarine / 2591 posts
We did when we got married and I am the one that has changed my mind so we will probably go with what we agreed on.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Yep, always in the two, maybe three category. Sometimes we discuss being open to a fourth. We will see where our lives go in the next 6 years
nectarine / 2031 posts
We both agreed on 2 and planned on sticking to it but then we got a bonus baby with this pregnancy and will be done at 3
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
We both have always said two, which is what we have. I cannot imagine three.
kiwi / 566 posts
When we were dating and talking about having a family down the road we planned on 2 about 3 years apart. But when I was pregnant we both started talking about only having 1 and now are both solidly in the 1 and done or possibly adopt far down the road camp. So we still agree, just our shared vision has changed!
eggplant / 11716 posts
We basically agree. DH wanted 2, I always said 2 maybe 3.... I think either of us could be convinced either way although DH has said if we had 3 we would definitely have to move somewhere cheaper where we could get a big house first.
apricot / 456 posts
I think we always wanted three. We couldn't imagine how we'd handle more than that. But then we became close friends with some large families, and we realized that we both really loved the idea of having more.
Now we say we want six. That's not hard number, it's just what's most likely given that I'd prefer not to be pregnant in my 40's. It could be five, or seven, or nine if we have twins along the way. Or a lot less, if I have fertility problems down the road. But ideally, we both agree that we'd like a large family.
pear / 1696 posts
He'd be happy with just our one, but he knew going into this marriage that I always wanted three. We will have 2, maaaybe 3.
persimmon / 1188 posts
We did originally but now that we have one, he doesn't want the second. I'm not ready yet so I just hope he changes his mind. I think he will, if not we'll have to really figure it out together. If he feels very strongly I'll be ok with it.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
When we got married, I wanted two DH wanted one but was open to two. My brother and I are extremely close, so I definitely wanted my children to experience having a sibling. DH and his sister are not close, so he didn't want to have two lol. Now that I'm pregnant, I only want one. Pregnancy has been hard on me emotionally and physically.
Conversely, DH now wants two! But, he just wants to be a dad, so one child satisfies that biological need for him.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
We always said we wanted 2, then we had R, and both were thinking one and done. He was more then me. Now we both want another.
kiwi / 556 posts
Kind of. I wanted 2, he wanted one but was willing to have a second.
I'm actually leaning one though now, so we may be one and done
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I'm more 2-3, DH (in theory) is more 3-4. We've both compromised on 2 maybe three Reassess after life with two kids!
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Yup! 2 and through if we have one of each. Otherwise, 3 would be our max.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
We were in agreement when we got married. Now, I'm one and done and DH wants another
persimmon / 1495 posts
@kiddosc: for us too :(. We always talked about having kids before we got married and since both DH and I have siblings, it never even occurred to me that we would only have one. To be fair, I'm not sure DH would have known at the time that he'd want to be one and done even if we had talked about it. Anyways, now he very much feels done at one, and I *very* strongly want one more. Intellectually I see the advantages of just one, I just can't get on board. I'm trying really hard to not bring it up again until our son turns two, but it's hard.
grapefruit / 4278 posts
@Chuckles: That situation sounds familiar. We discussed before marriage, and agreed on two. After one, he is happy though and wants to be done. The door is still open a crack though, so we just continue to talk it through every so often. Our son will be three in May and all I can see is the widening age gap.
pomelo / 5469 posts
Kind of! Dh has always said "the more the merrier" but he knows my limit is 3 and is fine with that.
persimmon / 1196 posts
DH strongly advocates for one-and-done. I'm unwilling to make that call until one is actually here. I always assumed that if I had kids, I'd have at least two (siblings and all that), but I've really come around to the idea of one. I'm just not ready to firmly make that call before we have any children at all.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I'm good with 2, he would prefer 3. WE are keeping the option open but I have some strict stipulations on what has to happen in order for me to have a 3rd. Bigger house, all debt paid off, new job, ect.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Pretty much we are at 2! I mean we are open so I think after we settle with 2 we will decide if we are complete or may expand to 3.
apricot / 320 posts
@dc yoga bee: We have nearly the exact same story, right down to our experiences with siblings. Except now that DS is 2 DH and I are finally on the same page about two kids and we're TTC #2.
Good luck to you!
pomegranate / 3604 posts
I've always wanted 3 and he's fine with 2. But one is his step-son so we're good to go for #3
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
We never sat down and discussed the actual number of kids we wanted, my husband's mind doesn't work that way. What we did discuss is that we wanted children and how far we would go to have them.
pomegranate / 3577 posts
@looch: We never discussed either.
I always had in my head two. I'm close to my sister, DH is not. We're done at two because we can't wait to have family adventures and to travel, but we need the boys to be a little older first.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
Yep. He was fine with 0-2. And I would prefer 2. We are TTC #2.
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