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I was a little bold turning down my neighbor this evening!

Most often, people don't "take a hint" and is found it's best to be honest and upfront. You don't want to burn any bridges, but you also need rest and privacy.

My MIL said today that FIL wanted to come this afternoon. I was very honest and said that I really wanted to rest, and may even be discharged, so id prefer a visit once we are settled at home.

We were bombarded with visitors the first time. This time if wasn't as awful, but we were very vocal about what we wanted (and that was sleep!).

My aunt is terrible at this, so I took LO upstairs to nurse, texted DH after a while to come up and check on us and say we both fell asleep, and then say he had to go out somewhere. They walked out to the cars together and then he came back inside when she left. Whatever!

I just pre-emptively said I did not want anyone at the hospital.

I had to have an awkward conversation with my mom last weekend about how I did not want her to be at the hospital in any way, shape, or form while I was in labor. She was appalled, obviously, but I explained there was no logical reason why she needed to hold vigil in the waiting room, there was no one to drive her home if labor goes overnight (she lives out of town and has to fly in), and I did not want anyone but my husband in the delivery room. Our compromise was she would fly in and stay at our house while I was in labor, we could communicate by phone, and I *think* if there's some downtime between after the baby is born and discharge, I may consider having DH go get her and she can see him at the hospital and we can all drive home together.

I got admitted last night and Mom just landed a little while ago, so I'm glad we just had this talk. DH has got her settled in and we've talked on the phone twice now, so she seems fine with sticking to our agreement.

Just start crying. Worked every time. People could not get away fast enough. Ha ha.

I had a ton of visitors at home and hospital with both kids. I just said I needed to sleep and kicked them out. At home not so much, people usually just dropped off food, held baby and left.

I ignored everyone.

No one but my husband and mother knew I was at the hospital and after LO was born, he was in the nicu and no one told anyone for a few days. Even then, I didn't respond to texts/calls and the couple people who showed up at the hospital couldn't come into the nicu without my permission (which I didn't give, nor did I leave the nicu to talk to visitors).

When we got discharged, I was adamant (as was the neonatologist who discharged LO) that no one was visiting until after his due date because he was still very fragile.

But mostly, I just ignored people until I was ready for visitors, which was like 2 months pp.

I was really surprised at how many people didn't take the hint and wanted to visit in the hospital. In the end I let them all come. BUT SERIOUSLY why do people think that is their right?

As for visitors after we came home, we had tons. One in particular I knew would be a problem, so I "prepped" her before DD was born telling her how we were worried about having too many people to come stay and not help, etc. That seemed to work because she did come but stayed in a hotel thank god.

We didn't tell anyone no in the beginning, with the exception of some pushy co-workers that I didn't care to see at first. Now they are 4 months old and my in-laws believe my house is a free for all and that they are entitled to visit whenever they want. If I suggest a day isn't good for me suddenly I'm keeping them from their grand kids. I'd set expectations early that you get to call the shots!

When I was in hospital and they texted asking to come I just said id be home in x amount of days and to come then. I honestly have never ever understood this. You're recovering from something big, in my case surgery, trying to breastfeed, you're tired and overwhelmed. Last thing you need is visitors really.