I never expected Olive to be born at 35 weeks, 2 days, but I have a number of friends who had preemies.
Did your baby come early? How early and how long did you have to stay at the hospital?
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My niece was born at 34 weeks and weighed 4.0 lbs. She was in the hospital for two weeks. She is 20 months and is pretty small for her age but she is one of the smartest kids I've ever been around.
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My boys were born at 27 weeks. Sebastien was in the NICU for 101 days. Sam was there for 151 days before passing away.
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@sandsandmore - i'm so sorry! that must have been so devastating.
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Thank you @tequiero21. It was devastating, but I"m open and willing to talk about it. We knew there was an issue with Sam starting at 13weeks pregnancy. He just wasn't growing. So when the boys were born, Sebastien was 2lb 1oz, and Sam was 12 ounces. He developed a very rare heart condition that pretty much guaranteed no recovery. But the fact he made it 5 months is still beyond incredible. We always called him Sam Superman (his entire story is on my blog).
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@sandsandmore - i'm so glad you at least knew and loved him for 5 months. i wish i knew my baby angel, even for a little bit. i'm too hormonal. hearing all these sad stories make me so weepy.
what's your blog? if u don't mind my asking.
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Yes, I'm grateful I had those 5 months. I got to know him, got to love him. He was amazing.
fromaspeck.wordpress.com -
SandsAndMore - I've just read through some of your blog posts. I cannot imagine going through what you have and honestly don't know what sort of support to offer, but please know that you and your family are amazingly strong.
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Thank you MaisyMay. I'm here to support other preemie mommas. I've been through pretty much every single preemie scenario, so I'm happy to answer any and all questions. The preemie and NICU journeys are tough, scary, traumatic. No one should feel alone throughout it.
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My first nephew was born 7 weeks early this weekend! Baby boy (no name yet) came out at 4lbs 2oz. We found out he was coming at 7am and @MrsBee, I immediately logged in to read your story b/c I knew Olive came early, as well.
At this point, it looks like he will be in the NICU for 3-4 weeks. He came out healthy enough to allow them to hold him and take a picture with him before they put him on all of his tubes.
My SIL got discharged today. They were worried about infection for both so both SIL and her son are on antibiotics. Looks like he's going to be just fine, they're just keeping him out of precaution. They haven't found any problems so far.
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Congrats on your nephew. 4lb is a good weight. Fingers crossed that he cruises through the NICU. Let me know if you have any preemie-related questions.
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I hope it isn't rude to bump this (I have been off boards for a while and my boardiquette is rusty). I have a brand new micro-preemie.
He was born at 27 weeks exactly, and weighed 2 lb 2 oz at birth. He's a little over a week old now and hasn't quite yet made it back up to his birth weight, but to my very limited knowledge of preemies, I think he's doing really well. He's off his IV and on just a feeding tube for breastmilk and a couple of supplements, and on high flow room air in a cannula to remind him to keep breathing. My husband and I get to do kangaroo care with him each day now, which is amazing.Something I'm curious about.. did any of the rest of you with preemies struggle with feelings of guilt, like you must somehow mysteriously be at fault for your baby being born early? We have no idea why this happened so even though I know it is stupid I have been catching myself blaming myself or a random little thing I did for him being born so early.
I also am struggling with feeling sad that I don't get to have the rest of my pregnancy with him. I know it's uncomfortable being pregnant, but it's such a sweet time that can never come back again, and I just lost 13-15 weeks of feeling him kick, watching my belly grow, getting his room ready, etc. Did anyone else feel this way?
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Congratulations on your son!
Everything you are experiencing is completely normal. You did absolutely nothing wrong. And yes, you were completely robbed of a normal pregnancy, a normal birth experience, a normal introduction to motherhood. Please don't beat yourself up about his early arrival; focus now on moving forward.
Unfortunately you will deal with the feelings of loss for quite some time. It's normal.
I will warn you that there is a honeymoon phase with micro-preemies. So if something happens soon, try not to freak out too much. You will, but remember your son is a fighter and will make it through. Take each hour, each day as it comes.
Also, as much as it's going to be difficult to think this way, try to take care of yourself during the next few months. The nurses are there to take care of your baby, you need to take care of yourself and prepare the nursery, prepare yourself, etc to bring home your son.
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@bykes187: Congratulations on your baby! I didn't have a preemie so can't relate on that level, but our son was born ten days early at only 5 lb, 5 oz (1st percentile) and lost 10% of his birthweight in the hospital after I had been on bedrest since 30 w for preterm labor. I experienced guilt over not getting to our due date since every ounce counts (though we had no idea he would be so small). I also somewhat understand your feeling of longing to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy as I was on strict bedrest from week 30-37 and felt that I missed out on a lot. I know it's not remotely the same thing as what you are going through, but wanted to extend my well wishes and experience. Good luck : )
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@bykes187: Congratulations in the birth of your son! My son was born just before 34 weeks and fortunately we did not have to spend much time in the NICU.
I completely understand how you are feeling about the end of your pregnancy. My pregnancy suddenly ended while I was still feeling good, I thought I looked kind cute with my bump and I hadn't even had my baby shower yet. I didn't get to labor as I had a somewhat emergency c-section. I know I missed out on a lot of the uncomfortable parts of pregnancy, but I still wanted to experience it. But as my husband reminded me as we drove home from the hospital, we didn't want to get pregnant for the "experience", we wanted to have a baby and we got one.
I know your little guy is little, but he sounds like he is doing well. Take all the help you can from the nurses, they are great. -
My son was born at 34 weeks exactly weighing 4 lbs 8 ozs. He spent a little over a week in the NICU. Leaving the hospital without my son was the hardest things I've ever done and I blamed myself for not getting him to full term. He's now home and doing great. It's so hard being away but all the drs and nurses at nicu are amazing and your lo is in great hands.
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