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I was scared someone would come take her away. I had a breakdown at about 6 days postpartum because I thoughtshe felt like a stranger and that made me feel terrible. I was scared I wouldn't be able to love her enough since she wasn't from my genes.

Looking back I think it was just baby blues. I got over it pretty quickly. I think it helped that my husband and mom both sensed something was wrong and got me to talk about it.

@mediagirl: I had all these worst case scenario thoughts when we'd go out.. sometimes in the house... balconies collapsing, fires, shootings, etc. I didn't recognize it until almost a year later as postpartum anxiety.

I've struggled with anxiety since high school and I wanted to chime in... I've had these kinds of thoughts all the time since then. They are worse when my stress level is higher. Lots of therapy has taught me that these intrusive thoughts are just brain trash. We don't control what our brains think necessarily and our brains/thoughts are not always helpful or beneficial to us. I think most of cognitive behavioral therapy is helping you to recognize that and then critically evaluate the thoughts to determine if they deserve your attention. I'm sure those of us that struggled with this know that, but I wanted to put this out there for anyone going through this. I'm 4 weeks postpartum and I'll definitely having these intrusive thoughts, but knowing they are just brain trash helps me deal.

I don't think I had crazy thoughts but I got VERY STRONG urges to bite her. Like actually bite her. It's so weird. I have to clench my teeth. It still happens from time to time. Omg I sound insane.

Yes I did for the first week. It was weird and I felt totally crazy.

I was worried about sexual abuse. It was keeping me up all night and I started obsessing about what "really" happened with DD1 at my parents house after having DD2. I didn't want my dad or brother near the girls, even if I was in the room with them and I couldn't even hug my dad because I was so disturbed by the thoughts in my head. None of those fears were based on anything valid. I also (still) struggle with some post part in depression after DD2

@Anya: I want to bite my kids sometimes too. I'll even salivate.

Yes, even now I have awful thoughts. I would never share them with anyone. Sometimes I think they could have been much worse if I didn take placenta pills.

I had mama bear thoughts if someone else was holding her, especially if it was a another woman around my age. SIL or friends would ask to hold her, and I'd politely let them, but inside I'd be raging that they would dare take my baby from me. For weeks, I wouldn't leave anyone alone with LO except DH. I also got crazy anxiety about SIDs until she was about 6 months old. She never slept that well in the early months, so the few times she actually did sleep well, I'd be terrified that something was wrong. For my next baby, I am definitely going to get one of those monitor things (owlet or snuza or something).

I had some anxiety with my first, and definitely had it with my second. A lot of that was because our first passed away when he was only 6 weeks old, so I was paranoid about the same things happening. I'm pretty sure I'll feel the same way this time, but fortunately we have a very supportive pediatrician.

I had some weird thoughts the first 12 hrs. I didn't really believe B was my baby. I thought he was an alien or something. He was so tiny (a couple pounds smaller than we expected) and weird looking. And we had a difficult time with his delivery and I didn't really believe he was ok. They kept telling me he was but I just didn't believe them. I was on a ton of drugs because I had an emergency c section after my epidural failed repeatedly so they gave me everything possible to calm me down and make sure I wasn't feeling pain (I was freaking out that I would feel them cutting me but I really couldn't feel it). So I think I was just in shock from all the chaos of delivery. Also, I kept accidentally calling Blake by the nice anesthesiologist's name.

@catlady: That was me too! I didn't realize that it wasn't quite right either until really recently, I almost patted myself on the back for being a "proper mama bear."

Closer to her first birthday I read the phrase "fear of impending doom" and was like it all clicked that this wasn't normal stuff I had (and sometimes still have) this enormous fear of impending doom.

@Anya: @Mrs. Sunshine: another vote for biting. Glad to realize I'm not the only one! I figure it's just another intrusive thought.

I have some other dark intrusive thoughts too but I won't even write them down because that would make me nervous. Thankfully they only pop up every once in a while.

I didn't really have anything like the above but I did feel like my pump was talking to me, and usually it was something really negative that I was hearing over and over again. Didn't help my output because I could never relax while pumping because I was hearing negative messages.

I was afraid of stairs with my second. Like what if I trip going down the stairs and she goes flying down to the tile floor. That one was recurring. It didn't stop me from going up and down but it did invade my thoughts usually while nursing and thinking about what I'd be doing next. I think I was so paranoid about it because I had a really bad fall face first in the street at 8 months pregnant that scarred my face and broke my glasses (but could have been so much worse).

Ah yes the fear of impending doom. It's like you can't stop your brain from picturing all the possible bad things and in way too much detail Like others I was (still am) afraid of car accidents. I particularly HATE the highway still because people drive like idiots and accidents can happen so fast. I also watched Game of Thrones which was a BAD idea for a lady with PPA with one particular scene that made me sob uncontrollably.

But I think it's important for moms to know they're not crazy or a bad person, and there is no shame in asking for help

I had images of awful accidents happening and being afraid people would think I hurt him on purpose. Like you said with knives, I'd have a crazy fear that somehow I'd accidentally drop a knife and it would stab him but everyone would think I did it on purpose because they knew I was struggling with being a new mom. Which is crazy because I'm not even sure in what scenario I could drop a knife and it would come close to him.
I told my therapist at the time and she did say it was normal. As long as I wasn't envisioning hurting him on purpose.

It was bad in my last pregnancy. I worried a lot about H getting hurt and me not being fast enough because of my belly. A big trigger was heat related death, I obsessed about it and constantly checked my car even though I knew she wasn't there.

@Mama Bird: there was, I remember that thread too!

This article has a theory about the biting thing, which is fairly common
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-we-want-to-bite-cute-things-like-adorable-newborn-babies/