It was really important to my DH that I take his last name.. so I did!
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Yep. I was surprised how important it was to him, actually. I very strongly considered keeping my name, since I'm the last of the line. DH was genuinely upset by that, and my dad had to explain to me that he (DH) probably felt that I wasn't throwing myself whole-heartedly into the marriage. Even though I don't agree with that sentiment, I did change it to make him happy. He's a great husband, and I am passing my name on to LO anyways!
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Nope. He has a pretty awful family, lots of abuse, etc., so he took my name and it's our family name.
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Yes, it was really important to him. But I kind f didn't want to. Three years later and I still strongly dislike my last name
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Yes, it was important to him (and it's an awesome last name). However had I been very connected to my maiden name he would have understood.
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He would've been ok if I kept my maiden name or hyphenated. He would not, however, even consider taking my last name
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yep! non-negotiable and i obliged. even if i ended up with the most ridiculous full name ever.
oh in the name of love
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@Bookworm: Same-- I was surprised by how important it was to him, and he also said he felt like I wouldn't be as invested in the marriage if I didn't, like I was keeping an easier out. I think that is totally untrue, but I actually had always planned to take his name anyway-- I wanted us to have one family name and he has a good last name, and I have several siblings with my old last name. We have still sort of argued about it, but in a theoretical way, like I think his argument is BS, but it doesn't actually apply to us either way.
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Yes, it was very important to him. I really wanted to take his last name (even though I often miss my maiden name now), so I guess it worked out really well!
@Bookworm: I am passing my maiden name onto our little one too.
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He always told me he didn't care either way what I did, but I think deep down he was glad I changed it.
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Yes. Like @Bookworm said, my husband was upset when I said I may not change my last name. I did however complain at least once a day when I was going through the name change process so he could see that it wasn't an easy thing to do, haha!
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@rachiecakes: that's awesome! We have close friends who just got married... she comes from a very close family and he didn't have much of a childhood but grew up with his father's last name... so when they got married, he took his new wife's last name and hyphenated it with his mother's maiden name. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to define himself legally as what he felt he is, instead of what's on his birth certificate!
I am very traditional so I took Wagon Sr.'s last name. He's pretty traditional as well so I have no idea how he would have reacted if I didn't! However, in Korean culture a woman is always known by her maiden name. I tacked mine on to the end of my middle name, which is my Korean name.
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I took his last name but it wouldn't have bothered him if I kept my maiden name.
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he does- i still haven't legally changed it everywhere. i promised him when we have a LO i will so we all have the same last name (although mine if hyphenated). if it were a nice name, i wouldn't mind, but my new name rivals julia gulia's from the wedding singer! it's bad... really bad.
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Same, he wanted me to change my name.
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Nope. He didn't want me to change my name. He wanted us to both change our last names together but we couldn't come up with any kind of cool combination since we both have boring English surnames. But we did want to have the same name so I took his.
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Wasn't even a discussion. Was just expected & I assumed I would.
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We both felt strongly about it
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He didn't care. I didn't change it, though I will use his name on some things socially, like wedding responses. My last name is cooler though.
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Yes, he really wanted me too, I only joked about not, I always wanted to take my husband's last night, it was important to me.
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He truly didn't care what I did. I ended up taking his name just for the sake of sharing a name for our children. Almost two years later, he still refers to me by my maiden name quite frequently. It makes no difference to him, or me really.
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It is important to him but I haven't done it. I LOVE MY NAME. I think about changing it and it just doesn't feel right. DH is kind of hurt by this. He once said (in a fight) that he didn't think I even wanted to be married. He just does not get my perspective. I've tried to explain but to him, changing your name is what you do when you get married and that's that. So we're at a stalemate.
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He didn't care either way about it. I changed it because it's a nice last name that goes with my first name. Also, he didn't take his stepdad's name, so our family name is different from his mom and brother. He made a choice to keep his last name as a kid. I don't know if I would have taken it if was the same one as MIL.
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Yes, it was very important to him and I was glad to take his name since its way cooler than mine was
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I'm trying to decide what to do now, since we're getting married in less than 4 months. He says it doesn't matter to him and it is my decision...but I can't decide. Part of me thinks it would be nice to share the same name, but the other part of me likes my name. Hmmmm...
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He didn't mind either way and I ended up hyphenating, while LO will just take his last name.
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Yup because when we had kids, he wanted all of us to have the same last name. I wanted to any way so it was okay. Even though I grew super attached to my maiden name the days leading up to it. =)
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Nope, he didn't! He said he would have thought it/I was "weird" if I just wanted to give up my name and take his without question. I didn't want to take his (I like mine better!), so I didn't.
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@Mrs. Pen: That's a bummer
I'm sure he would have liked it but I was pretty clear from the get-go that it probably wasn't going to happen, nor was it up for negotiation. At least any more negotiation than him taking my name, you know? And he has given me absolutely no grief about it. As I told him from the beginning, it doesn't make us any less of a family.
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I think I felt more strongly about it than he did. He wanted me to, but if I were insistent upon keeping my maiden name then I think he would have been ok with it. I wanted us both to have the same last name as our kids, though, and I didn't want to hyphenate.
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He didn't care. I wanted to keep my maiden name and he was cool with it. I ended up taking his last name and for the wrong reasons. I was on the outs with my dad at the time and changed it because of that. Sort of wish I would have kept my name. I know I could always change it back and DH would be fine with it. But seems like such a hassle.
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He didn't care! I haven't changed it but I am not opposed to doing it. It just is a lot of work!
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Yup. He wouldn't have it any other way.
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Yes.
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Yes, and it was the only thing he insisted on in our entire engagement/planning process so I did it.
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Yes. I think he would have been open to me hyphenating, but I also wanted to take his name, so it was a win-win!
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Yes. He really wanted me to.
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I am not sure really. I wanted too so it wasn't something we really discussed.
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37 comments