My parents didn't have family or close friends in the area. My mom met some friends when we started school and activities so those parents became her support team!
My mom solo parented a lot (most of the year) so I always feel guilty when I complain about a few days without DH!
honeydew / 7488 posts
No support at all.. my dad was even working during a strike when my brother was born and all family was overseas since they were immigrants. It actually impacts the way they relate to us. They don't really like to watch the kids for date nights and stuff like that since they never were able to do that and don't feel like it's necessary. I feel bad about it, but that doesn't mean they need to project the way they had to parent onto us!
honeydew / 7444 posts
Yup, my grandma came to live with us as soon as i was born and took care of us. We also had a ton of church friends to help out. Their support system was much greater than what DH and i have right now.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
@T-Mom: I think you just described my parents and MIL. 
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Yes. It was called husband and wife. We had nannies and babysityers.
We did not live around family. The times when my parents had to have a family member watch us they lived to regret it. Sometimes family friends would care for us, but those were god parents and it was always a huge ask and didn't happen often.
pineapple / 12234 posts
Kind of, when they had my 3 sisters, they lived close to both of their families, they had a young parenting group they were apart of and they had a lot of old friends since they both grew up in the area.
Then they moved for my dads job a few states away, had another baby (me) and knew no one. They were busy with four daughters, my dad worked days and my mom worked nights so they didn't have time to make new friends.
watermelon / 14206 posts
Yes...my mom has 5 siblings and my dad has 4 and they all lived near us growing up - including both sets of grandparents.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
Not at all. My dad's parents died when he was young. My mom's parents were busy with 4 other kids still at home since my mom was the oldest, and they didn't live close by.
My brother was so colicky and difficult as a newborn (we were 14 months apart), that she sent me to live with my aunt for a month!
I can't imagine how hard it was sterilizing bottles on the stovetop, hand washing cloth diapers... I've had it easy!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Yes, my grandma watched me and cooked dinner every night for my parents until I was 4. So I think that must've been a huge help as they worked to get their business off the ground.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
I'd say so... since my mom's family essentially raised me from ages 1-4. My mom sent me back to Taiwan when I was 9 months old, and I was raised by my grandparents and Aunts until I came back to the states at 4... in time for preschool.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
@autumnlove: I come from a military family, so we had no family around and we moved every 3 years and my dad was usually on deployment, so my mom pretty much raised me by herself.
pomelo / 5469 posts
No support- which is why I think they expect us to be able to manage perfectly fine on our own and haven't offered any.
persimmon / 1128 posts
Yes, they had sisters {my aunts} that helped a lot. My parents had to return to Mexico to finalize their permanent resident status and left a 3 year old with one sister, and a 1 month old with another sister. They were supposed to be gone for a month, but redtape extended the stay to 4 months. Yours truly was conceived during that trip. 
clementine / 899 posts
Yup. Paternal grandparents were 5 min away. Maternal g-rents were a few hours away but Mum would take me there often when Dad was working. They moved closer (30 min away) before my brother was born so that made things easier. One of my aunts was still living at home (she was 15 when I was born) so she helped out a lot too. Multiple cousins that my parents were close with were 20-30 min away as well. I was truly raised by a village, lol.
pomelo / 5258 posts
No, my parents lived 10 hours from family when my brother and I were little. We moved to where I grew up when she had two under two. My dad traveled about 3 days a week. My mom made her own support system. She started a mommy & me group, organized a babysitting co-op, etc. I feel like a wuss in comparison.
pineapple / 12566 posts
No support. They had only been living in the the town where I was born for about a year. No family, no close friends.
I guess history repeats itself. After one year here, DH and I have no family and I have only just started having closer friends the last few months.
bananas / 9899 posts
Yes. My parents stayed married until I was around 12-13ish and even after they divorced my parents stayed very close friends and still raised us together (financially and otherwise). Both their parents were also very helpful, my grandfather lived with us/cared for us until he died when I was 21.
pomelo / 5178 posts
My parents were pretty much alone when they had my older siblings, but by the time I was born, they had moved closer to family. I grew up with aunts and uncles and cousins and lots of family friends. It was a good childhood.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: Awwwh! My friend was in the same situation and she spent a lot of time with her grandma.
honeydew / 7488 posts
@autumnlove: haha. poor us.. actually I'm sure it's the same in your family, but my family is always available for emergencies and providing help (like one time a few weeks ago I came home from work and my mom had left dinner for us, which was a huge help because I had nothing planned) but it's always on their terms. I'm really grateful but just wish sometimes they would watch my kids in the evening for us. I'm working on a getting a "real" babysitter for those things...
papaya / 10343 posts
Yes. Almost all of my parents' immediate family lived within 15 minutes of them. My dad's parents watched us all the time, whenever they both were working and also weekend nights sometimes. My mom's mom watched me a few times per year too, at least. We also lived next door to my dad's sister so I was over at their house a lot. And my mom's sister lived 10 minutes away.
Sometimes it feels odd to think of raising my own child in such a different environment. I don't really know what raising a kid must be like without a thousand family members and cousins nearby.
pear / 1799 posts
My parents had all of their family & friends ... Sometimes, I get pretty sad that we live over 2,000 miles away from our family.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
not family--my parents lived far away from their parents, siblings, etc (on purpose...)--but they were amazing at developing a network of close friends. I still consider many of their friends pseudo-family (some of my "aunts" even put together part of our wedding).
kiwi / 689 posts
Yes - my maternal grandparents lived close by and helped out a fair bit and my parents had a lot of church friends. Plus my uncle and aunt had a farm an hour or two away and my siblings and I used to go there for holidays pretty often.
We have zero family and very few friends in the city we live in, and my family are all a 13 hour plane ride away. Its hard. My parents and ILs really want us to move back home soon so they hang out with their grandchild and its a pretty appealing idea.
honeydew / 7917 posts
My parents moved here with no family nearby. Eventually my grandmothers came to live with us, but they were both too old to really help take care of us.
pomegranate / 3003 posts
My parents lived on the other side of the country from both of their parents. My mom stayed home, while my dad worked long hours. She was pretty much on her own, from the get go, but they eventually met great friends in the area.
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