I was at a bridal shower last night & both the bride & groom's mothers were VERY vocal about wanting grandchildren right away 
I have been blessed b/c my parents never ever ask! MIL asks DH all the time but she doesn't bug me 
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nope not at all, they wanted us to enjoy our life and do what felt right for us!
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My parents were great about never bothering us. But my in-laws were sooooooooooooo annoying! As soon as we got engaged, my MIL started asking when we were going to have children. And she almost NEVER asked Hubs - she would ask ME! It got to the point, I almost threatened to tell her that every time she brought it up, we were going to push it back another year, so we weren't having kids until we were in ours 60s!
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Yes. It was all my MIL would talk about for a while. She shut up after SIL had a miscarriage.
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Nope, I'm grateful that everyone was respectful. I hate when I hear parents do that - you never know what's going on in a marriage! Maybe they want kids yesterday and haven't been able to have them, maybe they're not sure what's best for themselves yet, and in no situation is it helpful to have comments from the peanut gallery.
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@Adira: Hahaha that is a great tactic. So is she all up in your business now too wondering about #2?
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@snowjewelz: LUCKILY I haven't seen her as much since we had #1, so she hasn't bothered us yet!
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My mom and MIL definitely let me know how excited they are, but there isn't any pressure. My mom especially knows that when I'm pressured to do something, I tend to go and do the opposite, so that wouldn't be a good tactic for her
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Yes. all the time.
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FIL did some pressuring when we were dating.
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Nope, my parents aren't really ready to be grandparents yet (but they would be thrilled if we did), so they are fine with us taking as long as we want.
I know MIL really wants us to have kids, but she is weirdly polite so she always asks us "for" some else. Like, "Ya know I was talking to Aunt Sally yesterday and she asked when you guys were going to have kids. What should I tell her?"
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@PermaStudent: Hahaha, mother knows best!
@autumnlove: That's interesting... Seeing mostly it's the mothers that are usually up to no good!
@TemperanceBrennan: Haha your MIL is so sneaky!
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We really didn't get any pressure for a couple of years. Considering that my MIL said that she thought we would divorce when we got engaged, she/his family clearly didn't see us having kids. When DH's ex-girlfriend announced her pregnancy soon after their wedding a little after our first anniversary, MIL was super jealous. When MIL visited LO for the first time, she said that she waited for a grandchild for a very long time. However, she shows little to no interest in LO. The Skype calls have been infrequent at best. She's full of mixed messages.
My parents were pretty relaxed about us having kids. My brother has twins and a girl all before we conceived. They wanted us to take our time, etc. My parents are awesome grandparents to LO. He doesn't feel like he's the youngest of the bunch since he's doted on as much as the others.
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@snowjewelz: "I'm the only 64 year old without grandkids!"
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My mom puts the pressure on and my SIL talks about it constantly
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@snowjewelz: So sneaky, it isn't obvious at all
. It doesn't help that DH's side is super catholic and three of his cousins have gotten married after us and each couple has at least one if not two kids. I'm pretty sure there is a rumor going around on his side that we are having fertility trouble.
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My parents never said anything, MIL brought it up enough.
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@autumnlove: That's terrible! After a certain age, parents/grandparents feel like they have a licence to say anything they want!
@TemperanceBrennan: That is one terrible rumor! And what if you were?! It's so not nice to be talking behind your back about it!
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We have said that we are possibly done and my mom is very sad about that. My two are her only two grandchildren and she spoils them rotten!
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Nope! I can't see either of our parents saying anything about grandkids to us. For one thing, we're still in our twenties so it hardly feels like an emergency at this point. But also my parents and ILs are very respectful of our privacy.
ETA: I'm actually a little nervous about the opposite happening, them thinking it's too soon when we get pregnant because we're planning for late 2014 or early 2015. (Or even sooner if my H gets his way, haha). We're not exactly children (both of us will be 27 this year) but my parents were older parents.
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@snowjewelz: I know!
They are very polite face-to-face but are more gossipy than a pack of high-school mean girls.
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Before the wedding MIL kept insisting that we have kids right away because fortune telling uncle said it would be a lucky year for us to conceive. She believes everything he says because he has been strangely very accurate. Even after telling her that we want to take our time, she kept bringing it up.
Three months after the wedding I found out I was pregnant. She was surprised, and of course the uncle was right as usual. He even predicted the right gender for both my kids....
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@yin: Slightly creepy! But I'm sure MIL was glad she got what she wanted haha!
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My mom pestered me since I was 24 (and not even married). I didn't have my dd until I was 31 (the same age as she was with her eldest, I might add). My dad never pestered me - he assumed my DH and I were "career types" (his words) but was over the moon when he found out we were expecting. Unfortunately, he didn't live long enough to meet her.
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Not at all
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@NurseMommy: Aww I am so sorry to hear
At least he knew LO was coming than to remain thinking it would be a long wait 
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My parents already had grandkids, so there was no pressure there. DH's family joked about it a lot because we would be the first kid or grandkid to have a baby on either side of his family. I never felt like they were actually pressuring us, though; it was just good-natured teasing.
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No, they didn't. My parents know that it would cause me to flip my lid, not because we didn't want children, but because it's just so personal and I frankly, wasn't married until I was 33!
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@Mrs. Blue: That's so the opposite of us! My parents didn't have grandkids yet and they didn't pressure us, but my in-laws already had grandkids and they did pressure us! They wanted all the cousins to be close in age, so the longer we waited to have kids, the bigger the gap would be between SIL's kids and ours!
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Not my IL's, they want us and SIL to have big gaps between kids. My parents are beyond ready right now.
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My parents bring it up, but don't harp. They are in their 60s and are ready for grand kids. My ILs don't mention grand kids at all to emerge at least, but they are still raising their own kids (HS/ college students).
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My parents are great and have told me they don't care if we ever have kids, just so long as we are happy. It's so bad with my in-laws that I dread seeing them because I know my MIL will say something. At our first anniversary last year she actually toasted "hopefully Laura won't be able to drink next year". Another time I turned down wine at her house as I'd had food poisoning the day before and she said "maybe your pregnant" all excited. She's even brought it up to my parents when they are visiting saying "so and so is wondering when they're going to have children". Luckily my Mom shut her down. They were over the other week and she wanted a dog and we said we didn't think it was a good idea (so many reasons) and she said "well, if I can't have a dog then someone needs to give me a grandchild!". Seriously. I almost lost it on that comment. I'm not giving her anything. A baby is for me and my hubby. It will not be her new source of entertainment as she is bored-she'll only see the baby like twice a month at most anyhow. I responded that since she wants a child so badly she can become a foster parent and take care of a child herself! I'm at the point where if she makes another baby comment I am going to firmly tell her she has to stop and it is none of her business.
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Yep for sure. Both of my parents! My inlaws mentioned it less but still definitely did. It was all good-natured though.
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@alphagam84:
I'm sorry MIL is so kid crazed! That toast was just awful!
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My mom never asked because I think in her mind I was still too young but my dad totally said "you're getting old... Better start having kids soon!" LOL! Leave it to my dad to be super blunt about me turning 30
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@sunny: 30! Old! And it's funny that your mom still thinks you're young and your dad complete opposite haha!
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My Mum tells me "I want grand babies" and in the same breath says, "I'm too young to be a grandmother!" No real pressure, though. Absolutely none from MIL since she's obsessed with not stepping on toes.
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My parents, no. They already had 6 grandchildren. His parents made a few comments, but honestly didn't pressure us very much at all!
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No not really. MIL was pressuring BIL and his gf while I was pregnant with S but I shut that down for them. She wanted grandkids close in age but they are no where near close to ready and were getting annoyed by it.
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not really. my mom asked once in a while whether we were thinking of having kids, but even though i knew she did want us to have a baby, she didn't press the issue.
. It doesn't help that DH's side is super catholic and three of his cousins have gotten married after us and each couple has at least one if not two kids. I'm pretty sure there is a rumor going around on his side that we are having fertility trouble.
They are very polite face-to-face but are more gossipy than a pack of high-school mean girls.
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39 comments