With it looking more and more like I'll have a scheduled c section (flip baby flip!), I'm debating whether to have my son come to meet his new brother in the hospital or wait until I get home. I'm hoping that I'll only have to stay 1 night, and my concern with having him come visit is that it will be too hard for him to have to leave without me. I wondered what other people have done.
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yes, my mom brought him after DCP - he had no problems leaving with his grandma - he loves her!
Then the day I was discharged he came as well so we could go home as a family
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I stayed 2 nights in the hospital and LO 1 came on the second day. It was SO CUTE and we recorded the meeting. She sang the baby a song and was super adorable and sweet. She had no problems leaving us, but LO is really mellow in general.
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Yes, he was the first one to meet her. My mom picked him up from daycare a few hours after my C-section, and waited with my ILs in the waiting room while D brought him in. Honestly, him running in screaming "Is that my sister??? I want to see my sister!!!" was such a great moment for us. And he was fine leaving with my mom (she lives with us, though), and us being in the hospital for 3 nights/4 days while I recovered. He came to visit at least once a day.
We talked about what was going to happen with him A LOT before the C-section, though!
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I was in the hospital Friday night (after bedtime) to Sunday afternoon. Xander visited us on Saturday. It definitely WAS hard. He was freaked out by my IV and wasn't really interested in the baby. And then he screamed bloody murder when it was time for him to leave. But my parents (who were watching him) said he was totally fine once he was out of the room and I was out of eye-sight. I think it would've been hard for all of us to go a couple days without seeing each other, even if the visit wasn't that great.
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He came when she was about 4 hours old and was the first to meet her. It was ADORABLE! He is older (3 years) and we had talked a lot before hand about how daddy & I would stay with the baby and he would get to stay with his Aunt. He cried a little when he left but ultimately was okay.
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Yes and I'm really glad she did. She was so excited. DH had gone home and stayed with her so he brought her and they left together. I think it helped that she was going home with him, even though she is all about mommy. She also came when DH came to bring us all home, and honestly it would have been better if she could have waited at home, but we didn't have childcare. She was almost 2.5.
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He came and it was fine. He left with dad and grandma and went to do something fun with grandma.
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I planned on not having her come but we ended up changing our minds. It was really nice and she did great. No problems leaving wuth nana & grandpa. She was 26 months.
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My then 21m old DS visited his little sister when she was about a day old. It was adorable and he had no trouble leaving with his aunt and his dad.
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You guys are making me reconsider! I had always assumed he would come, and then my neighbours said that they weren't having their son because they thought it would be too hard for him to leave without mommy, and my son tends to freak out when I leave for work every day...but on the other hand I'd love to see him, I hate the thought of going a whole day without him, and maybe if we bribe him with the present his baby brother is bringing and the lure of going home to watch Peppa Pig he'd be ok....
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She was the first family member to meet him and hold him and came up each day to see us. I knew she would have a hard time being away from us for so long and we missed her. She even helped bring him home. She behaved amazingly well for a two year old!
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@erinbaderin: my LO is all mommy all the time and she really had no problem leaving with DH! I bet if you talk about it ahead of time he will be fine.
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I had my girls come both times. First time my oldest was 23 months, second time my oldest was 36 months and middle was 12 months. I didn't have an issue either time. They were exited to see the baby and equally excited to spend time with my parents.
FWIW I only stayed one night for my second c-section and I regret it.
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Looks like I'm in the minority but I did not have my 2.5 year old come to the hospital. I work in a hospital and know how germy they are plus he's a mama's boy so I thought it was best to wait. He was waiting for us when we got home and got to meet his sister then.
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DS was 15 months old when his little sister was born, and was the first to meet her. He had no clue what was going on, but I was so glad he was there. He had no problem going home every time he came(I had a csection and was there 2 nights)
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LO is 3.5 and came to visit us in the hospital. She was excited to see little brother and was glad to see mommy and daddy. Baby was unexpected so she was with friends and later grandma.
I had a vaginal delivery and it was a 2 night minimum stay.
At our hospital, there's a 2-3 night minimum for csec. LO wouldn't have lasted that long without seeing us (and me too!)
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My friend had her mom bring her son in as they were getting discharged so they could Come home as a family.
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My LO came to visit. She was really unsure of everything. I don't regret her coming. But she did leave with her Dad. He took her home and to grab dinner for me at the same time. I think if she'd have left with her aunt (who was staying with her at home) it probably would have been more challenging.
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Nope. I didn't want my older one in a hospital unnecessarily and she was having fun at home with her grandmother. It also felt like a long trek just for short visit and I wanted to keep her routine as normal as possible. It doesn't strike me as the least bit romantic to have the older child be the "first" to meet their sibling.
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My LO came with MIL after LO 2 was born. I missed the meeting because I was having pp bleeding complications.
LO 1 & 2 just stayed at home when LO 3 was born.
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LO (2.5) came with my parents the day after his little brother was born. It went really well though he was a tad hesitant given the surroundings. Our hospital happens to be near the zoo and a children's train so my parents made plans to take him there afterward and he was stoked to leave
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Yes, LO1 (18 mo) came when LO2 was born. She came with my mom and was taken back to her house for bed. It went well!
LO3 was visited the evening of his birth by LO1 (3.5 yrs) and LO2 (almost 2 yrs). DH brought them and took them back home for bedtime routine and stayed with them through the night. My mom stayed with me and helped me overnight. Originally they were going to stay home with my mom, but she offered to stay with me so I sent my husband home. I think the whole transition went better to have Daddy home.
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My plan is to have my toddler stay with us in the family suite. I hope to have my aunt on call for L&D to watch her, and then she will come stay with us. We'll make it work!
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Nope. She would have had a total meltdown if I didn't leave with her. I can't even FaceTime with her if I have to be away (because she flips out when we have to hang up)! We thought it was better for her not to see me at all and I think we made the right decision. She stuck to her usual routine, which was important to me. I also didn't want her in the hospital unnecessarily during the height of the flu season. Had I been discharged on a weekend, I would have had her visit so we could go home together, but i was discharged on a weekday. Her first time meeting the baby was plenty sweet at home, she had a blast with the nanny and grandmas, and everything worked out well.
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DD1 was 2y10m and she (along with my mom) were the first to visit. it was heart bursting awesome. but i know my other GF's daughter was indifferent!
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Yes! I had a RCS, and DH brought our 3-year old every night (I had to be there 3 nights) It was really nice, and he had no issues with leaving.
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Yes, my daughter (3) did come to the hospital after preschool. She was sweet with brother although I think still a little confused about what it all meant. She did also have a difficult time leaving, but I still think it was worth her coming. We talked about it before so it was something she was looking forward to.
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@erinbaderin: You might want to stay 2 with a c-section. The toughest part for me the first couple days was getting out of bed. It was great to have the adjustable bed and only have to go a few feet for the bathroom, and all meals delivered to the room.
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Well I had GBS and had to stay 3 nights. 4 if you include the induction they were going to start the night prior but changed their minds. So yes. She totally came to visit.
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My sister recently had her second, was at the hospital for 2 days/nights, and didnt let her LO come visit. The LO is 2, and had a really hard time not seeing her mom or dad for 2 days/nights. I almost think if you explain a bunch it might be easier for them to see and hear from you that everything is okay?
We are due with #2 in August and plan to let LO come visit.
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My 3yo son came the day after I had the baby. It was kind of a disaster, but I really wanted to see him. He was with my MIL, and I kept sending DH to be there with him so he wasn't so freaked out. At the visit, He barely looked at the baby, and was really sad to leave without me, but I was still glad he came in for a bit. It's a weird time for little ones, It must be very overwhelming.
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@ShootingStar: @oliviaoblivia: I had a c section with my first and stayed 1 night (baby was delivered just before 7am, so basically 1 night, 2 full days) and I'd very much like to repeat that. I'd much rather be at home in my own bed than in a hospital with people coming in and out all the time. I'll see how it goes but I had a pretty easy recovery last time, by that second morning I was feeling not too bad.
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I stayed two nights with LO2 because I was strep b pos and didn't have time for antibiotics before delivery. LO1 didn't visit; he was only 16 months and we thought it would be too confusing for him. He seemed to do fine with not seeing me for a few days, and the homecoming went off without a hitch.
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I was in a birthing center, so no nights at all, but we had LO come see LO2 right before it was time to leave. But I will say that as far as hating to go a whole day without seeing LO (oh man this is going to sound awful) I thought the same thing when I was pregnant, but postpartum it turns out I didn't mind having breaks from LO1 at.all. I was happy to see LO1 when he came back, but didn't miss him when he was gone. Those first few days with the newborn are pretty tunnel visioned. So. You may not miss your LO as much as you think even if you don't have a hospital visit. I feel like that sounds callous, but I can't reword it any better so I'm just going to stop typing now...
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No. It was the dead of Winter and I had DD2 in a hospital an hour away. She was 22 months old and I worried about someone else driving her up, and her catching germs in the hospital. We only stayed one night and were home soon enough with her baby sister.
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Yep! She was super excited to visit and hold the baby, then excited to leave and go back to her fun weekend with Mimi
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No. I was in the hospital about 24 hours. LO went to bed an hour after I left for the hospital and got home from daycare about 30 minutes before I got home. She did morning without me but it was no big deal. She was soo excited to meet baby brother when we brought him home.
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@MrsSRS: You are not alone! As soon as LO2 was born, it was magically much easier for me to be away from LO1. It almost felt like a hormonal reaction reminding me that my new baby had more immediate needs than LO1. It's strange how things change when you go from one child to more than one child.
That being said, LO1 (3 years old) did visit us in the hospital. We were there for less than 48 hours. He did well and had no trouble leaving with his grandma. I think it would have been fine for him to wait, but my MIL would have been sad to not see LO2 right away.
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Yes, my 3 yo came the day her baby sister was born. She got to hold her, and it was so sweet. I also had a friend come and take pictures of their first meeting, and there is a sweet one of me and my girls that I love. She had no problem leaving with her grandparents, but we talked about it all a lot before baby came.
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44 comments