Obviously we're in the early stages, just got my BFP on Friday!! But I was looking at a midwifery collective's website and it says they suggest the father comes to the appointments. That will be sometimes tough for us because of DH's work situation, he commutes 50 mins each way!
Just wondering if anyone went to most appointments alone?
clementine / 958 posts
DH came to my first appointment, any appointment when I got an ultrasound, and the last 2 appointments (when I was past my due date). Otherwise, he skipped, and it wasn't a big deal for us at all.
coconut / 8234 posts
DH came to my first OB appointment and to the 12 week and 20 week appointments because those were most important to me. He's a teacher, so it's not convenient for him to leave his classes to make my appointments and I wouldn't want him to. Some of them were 10 minutes and only involved peeing in a cup, blood pressure, and a quick check of baby.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
DH has been to all of my appts except one (he had to work late that day). I would say the first one is important, any ultrasounds, and the genetics screenings (so he can provide any background info about his family). Most of the "normal" appts last about 15-20 minutes, involve you giving a urine sample and weighing yourself, the OB using the doppler to hear the heartbeat, and that's about it.
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
DH came to the US appts, and anything that seemed scary for me (I had an NST and US due to an oligohydramnios diagnosis that ended up being fine) but other than that, I go by myself. It's all so mundane and I'd hate for him to have to take time off work too just to sit with me during my 10 minute OB appt. He has been to all our doula meetings, though. Those, I feel are more important to setting up our birth plan.
pomegranate / 3388 posts
DH comes to appointments when he can, which isn't too often. He did come to my first appt, and I definitely recommend that. It was the first time that the pregnancy seemed remotely "real" to him because he could finally see that there was something in there. (The doctor did an ultrasound, and we heard the heartbeat.) Most of my appointments these days are pretty boring, so I don't feel too bad about DH missing them.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
My DH comes to all of my appointments, he has a more flexible schedule then some, so it makes it possible for us.
GOLD / apricot / 337 posts
Mr. Marbles came to every appointment except for the last one since he had a work conflict. It was really necessary for him to go to the appointments, but it was nice and very helpful as a got bigger to have someone to literally lean on while on subways and going up stairs!
nectarine / 2797 posts
DH came to my first appointment, my second appointment (since I was pretty sure we would hear the heartbeat for the first time at that one) and both of my ultrasounds. Other than that I have gone to the rest of them alone, it seems silly to have him there for as short as they are!
nectarine / 2504 posts
DH came with me to my appointments for the first half of my pregnancy, switched jobs, and now I go to my appointments alone. No biggie though it'd be super if he went to the first appointment with you. The doctor asks a lot of questions regarding family medical history.
pineapple / 12526 posts
DH only came to the ultrasound appointments. I went to my regular checkups alone.
eggplant / 11824 posts
My husband wants to come to every single appointment and has been to every appointment so far, even the mundane ones where nothing exciting happens. He has a bit more of a flexible schedule though, and the OB is about 15 minutes from both our offices, so it’s not difficult for us to find a time that works.
pear / 1723 posts
DH has only missed one appt so far, because it was my physical, and I told him to skip it. Luckily, we live/work only about 15 minutes from the OB's office, and I just schedule my appointments first thing in the morning, and he goes in late.
I love having him at as many appts as possible, because he retains more info than I do, remembers to ask questions that I forget in the moment, and honestly can be a little more pushy with the OB about things if need be (requesting extra testing, etc). But if it was inconvenient for him to be at all the appts, it wouldn't be a huge deal. I'd just want him to be at one of the first when seeing baby or hearing the heartbeat for the first time, and then definitely at the anatomy scan.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
We just scheduled my appointments on days when DH wasn't working so he could be there for all of them. If your DH can't make it to all of yours, maybe he can at least make it to the important ones like the genetic screening appointment.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
My DH is a teacher so we always schedule my appointments for 4.30 so he can make it. He has been to all of them.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
My husband went to most of them, he just skipped a few due to work. Especially in the beginning he came a lot because I had miscarried once so it was scary for me to go alone, in case I got bad news again. I tend to forget things that doctors say and forget the questions I want to ask (even when I have them written down) so he likes to go to all of my doctor's apts that are not OB too. In the end when you go all the time he stopped coming with me so much.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
DH came to my first OB appt (10 wks), my NT scan (12 wks), and my anatomy scan (19 wks). He's a doctor and doesn't get to really take time off for personal matters, so we scheduled those appointments around his work schedule (and during vacations). If we have any complications or issues, he'd be there (and we haven't had any yet). But otherwise I don't think he's planning to (and not able to) come to any more appointments. I knew his schedule would not permit him to come to appointments with me when we went into this and I'm totally fine with it.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
He did not come to the first appointment. He had to work, and it turned out I got an ultrasound so he wasn't too happy about missing that, but it did just look like a little ball and I was able to bring a couple of prints home so that was nice.
Next appointment is to hear the hb (in about 2.5 weeks when I'm about 11.5 weeks) and then we have our 12 week n/t scan after that. They recommended that he come to the 12 week scan because there's more going on, but if he can come to both he will. I'm hoping he can at least make it to the 12 week appointment.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
(Also my husband works a job where the schedule changes so we don't know more than a month in advance... It's a good job but that's one of the things you give up for your first few years in the field. 
Our next child he'll probably be able to at least be guaranteed the big appointments.)
pear / 1554 posts
DH tried to come to as many appointments as possible. He missed a couple of regular appointments but definitely made sure he was there for all the big appointments.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Mr. TTT came to a few at the very beginning and now he only goes if there's a specific question he wants to ask, or if we're getting an ultrasound. He drives over an hour to work and back each day and has to leave work very early to come to appointments, so for routine visits where the doctor just checks the heartbeat, he doesn't come.
nectarine / 2163 posts
DH will probably come with me, only because I'm lame and scared of doctors 
he works from home, so has a mega flexible schedule...
There's also the fact that there's no public transport where we live and I haven't got my license yet, so he doesn't really have a choice anyways!
coconut / 8299 posts
DH came with me to all my appointments when I was pregnant with my LO. With this 2nd baby, he only comes to the ones where there's an ultrasound cause he likes to see the baby on the monitor.
persimmon / 1134 posts
He came to all of the appointments in the beginning, but now that I'm farther along he just comes to the u/s appointments. The regular 2 week check-ups are so quick I don't really feel like there's a need for him to miss work or sleep (he works 2nd), so I go alone.
cantaloupe / 6397 posts
Thanks for all of responses guys, it's really helpful!!
I just made my first midwife appointment and I'll be 9 weeks. DH will definitely come to this one and any ultrasounds I have, and anything important, he just won't be able to come to them all
pomegranate / 3225 posts
I hate to tell you this, but in the beginning you probably definitely want him there, just in case the terrible chance that something is wrong.
bananas / 9118 posts
My husband came to any that he could- I tried when I could to schedule on his days off. That being said I made sure to schedule ultrasound appointments only when I knew he could be there, otherwise he made it to about half of the other appointments.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
DH came to about half of them. Towards the end it wasn't really necessary.
persimmon / 1465 posts
DH came to the first OB appointment, any of the big scans and the last few appointments.
honeydew / 7968 posts
my hubby came to a handful (i had a LOT of doctor appointments).... but mostly went alone.
clementine / 994 posts
Our doctor's office recommended that DH come to the first three (family history, ultrasound, heartbeat) and any ultrasounds (NT and anatomy scan), but said that it wasn't necessary for him to come to ALL appointments.
DH's schedule is super flexible, though, so he's been to everything so far--even blood draws.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
My husband wants to go to all of my appointments. He goes to a lot of my normal doctors appointments with me now. When I do get pregnant I am going to try and schedule them on a day that he can come along.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
yes, DH did go to all of mine. it wasn't necessary but it was nice that he went.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
He goes to all of my appointments with me. He says he can't carry the baby and we're only doing this once, so he wants to be along for the whole exciting ride. I like him being there with me even on the short visits when it's just checking the heartbeat. It's comforting. His commute is long, as well but his bosses are very understanding about family stuff. I would say, do what works for you. For us, this works and it makes us both feel good.
grapefruit / 4056 posts
My DH came to the first appointment, ultrasounds, and an occasional other appointment (when I changed from my family doc to OB, he came to meet her). I think he might come to 1-2 later ones, especially if I get transferred to the high risk clinic.
pea / 17 posts
My husband has come to every appointment except for the last one, he couldn't get the time out of work (I am 26 weeks). He loves going to them and tries to make it to all of them, but as the end nears it'll be harder for him unfortunately But I was diagnosed with chronic hypertension about a month ago, so I need to have ultrasounds every month from here on out, so he will be going with me to those at least.
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