Hellobee Boards

Some do and some don't. The one that bothers me and DH are the ones when people ask if he sleep good and then when we say yes they say oh just wait that'll change which we've been told since LO was born and he's still the same good baby

Typically they do. I don't need to constantly hear about how awful parenthood is. I am not an idiot - I assume there will be challenges, I don't need you to destroy the small amount of hope and anticipation I do have.

Same as I always heard how awful marriage is. I naively listened to those comments and am pleasantly surprised as to how good it actually is!

I sometimes say it unintentionally. Like at the store a guy asked how old LO was and said he had a 10 month old. I told him how lucky he was she's not mobile yet. Meaning: Just wait until she's walking and you'll be running around like I am. But, I always try to follow up with a positive version. With him I told him just wait until she can run and play, it's also so much more fun..when you're not trying to stay in line at the store

I think everyone does it, just some don't do it so negatively. Those are the ones that bother me. The "you won't be able to handle it" type comments.

I hate them SO VERY MUCH. Every stage has good and bad parts. EVERY stage. Looking at someone and being envious of the good part you see, then making that type of comment, is just sh!tting on someone else to make yourself feel better or to feel like a martyr. That mom probably forgot the negatives of having to do so much for your child before they can feed themselves, or walk, and have to be carried about, and need to eat more often, etc etc or whatever struggles you may have. People who told me "get sleep while you can!" while I was pregnant CLEARLY forgot how painful pregnancy can be and the insomnia and discomfort and peeing every 2 hours. I just don't get why people need to bring others down to bring themselves up... since we're moms we're in the same boat.

But good for you for taking it positively and not letting it frustrate you!

I hate them!!! I think they are so rude, and completely discounting a person's current experience.

I remember being in soooo much pain with SPD that I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes with my first pregnancy. I mentioned to my mom that it made it hard to cook dinner. She said, "just you wait - its so much harder with a baby!" Was it? No!

Of course, there were some things people were right about. I was way more tired with a newborn than in my third trimester. But that doesn't mean I wasn't tired in the third trimester! There are definitely things that looking back, I wish I had appreciated more. I complained bout being unemployed and then just working pt with my first pregnancy. Now I'm like, "omg I had so much free time! I could do whatever I wanted every afternoon with no one else to worry about! What on earth was I complaining about??" But when I was talking to a friend about her first pregnancy, I didn't say "man just you wait till your second, it's way harder!" I mean, I'm not in her shoes.

So sure, there are times my gut reaction is "oh just you wait." But telling someone to appreciate what they have now by discounting their current suffering and trials doesn't work and isn't helpful.

Sometimes when people see me with M, the "just you waits" come and then when I tell them I have another boy who is almost 7 and he was easy, they then go on to say how stressful my life will be with 2 boys...some people just have to put a negative spin on everything!