I find it so strange but people ask me if I m BF my 3m old all the time. Not close friends or family. All age groups too. Why do people care? Do you get asked if you are BF?
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I got asked quite a bit. And for a long time I though for sure, I'll try to bf #2. But I have other (health related) concerns and I'm not sure I want to do it, and I hope that if I bottle feed again I will have the confidence to just say "nope!" and smile and move along.
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I've only had really strange people ask me. Like...a bank manager once. And a couple weeks ago, the shuttle driver for a car dealership. It throws me off! I wouldn't mind if it was friends/family.
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I felt like I was constantly being asked when I had a young baby.
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I got asked all the time. A crazy amount. By everyone! It's so weird. It would never occur to me to ask someone this.
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Not anymore but when she was an infant, yes.
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Yep!
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Yes and I think it's so weird. Also I EP and supplement so don't really know how to answer. In church last week an old man came up to me while I was giving DS a bottle and said "My wife nursed 4 kids, and all of them had teeth". I had no idea what that was supposed to mean!
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No one has ever asked me!l minus close friends and immediate family!
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Yes, I cannot believe how many people asked me if I was breastfeeding! Like is it any of your business?!
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Yes. That and "is she sleeping through the night?" (Hint: has never happened).
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Àll of the time. It's so invasive.
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Oh yes, all the time. But I have twins and I think people don't know how that works which leads to the questions.
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Yes I was asked this very frequently.
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I was always asked. And felt like it was none of anyone's business. Friends? No problem, we are all in the same boat. Random lady at the grocery store? wtf
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Allll the time. I started responding with, "Why do you ask?"
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I used to get it a lot when E was small. Now people are like your still nursing him? You know you can give him cows milk. ::insert eye roll here::
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All the time. Everyone. My neighbor that I've spoken to probably three times. My husband's best friend's aunt (did you follow that?) The cashier at TJ Maxx. I have no idea why anyone cares?
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I only very rarely got asked. I recall one time specifically, although I'm sure there are others. The lady was really pushy. I told her I was, but she went on a big rant on how everyone should and she hates when she meets moms who don't breastfeed.
Now that he's 12 months I don't get asked at all. Breastfeeding is just not the norm in my area.
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@winniebee: I get asked just because co-workers THINK we want kids SOMEDAY! Ack. I hate hate hate the BF/formula wars.
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@keepcalmcarrie: I totally agree with you! It's crazy that anyone has an opinion at all about SOMEONE ELSE!!
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I had gone to a wedding when my daughter was 18 months, and we got there a little late as waiting for babysitter... there was an obnoxious lady on the table (self designated table captain I suppose) who was asking why I was late, and then WHY are you not drinking alcohol, are YOU BREASTFEEDING?? I got a bit GET OFF MY TITS LADY!!
My crazy neighbour also asked me, just so she could tell me how her son at 9 months crawled up and out of the crib and into her bed and she woke up when he started suckling. get outta town crazy lady!
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All the time when mine were newborns. Not so much these days with an 8 month old.
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I can't believe people ask this question!!! It is no ones business! It will piss me off when people ask me this!!!
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Yup - never bugged me. I guess I figure breastfeeding (or however a baby eats) is a natural thing and there's no reason to avoid it. Except for the people who are asking in an obviously judgy manner. But they should generally keep all their opinions to themselves anyways.
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Weird. Besides doctors who asked because they needed the info, I didn't/ don't have people ask me.
People never touched my pregnant belly or made comments about that either. Maybe I have crazy resting bitch face that scares these, apparently common, commenters off!
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I don't think I've ever been asked that.
I think my jaw would just drop if someone did.
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@Grace: same here. I guess I'm in the minority here but people asked and I had no issue with it unless they were being creepy (or judgemental). I think it's important to talk about it to normalize it. How can we in one hand say that we want to be able to BF in public and not have people get all freaked out but on the other hand we don't want people to know about it, and it's private because it's my boobs?
.....But I'm very open and will happily tell anyone about most aspects of my life. -
I found that people either asked because they wanted to 1) applaud you (and sometimes bash the other "side") or 2) demonize you (cough, my ex chiropractor, cough). Which, neither really sit well in my opinion. But some people are just generally "oh cool, me too", insert rainbowy bonding moment.
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I have been asked a few times but it has been in context like the lady at the baby store who was helping me pick a pacifier or a new acquaintance I was griping to about my baby's gassy belly. No one random thankfully!
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Nobody ever asked me but I know some of my friends complained about getting asked.
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no, i don't remember being asked by anyone, not even friends.
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@Grace: @travellingbee: I feel the same way. I was asked with both when they were little, I didn't think it was a secret I needed to keep.
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The wife of my husbands work partner not only asked me if I was BF but whether I was EBF! She's a total hippie but come on?! I've met her two times!
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Family (not necessarily close family, LO was born in October so we had Thanskgiving/Christmas) and they would make comments. Come Christmas we had switched to FF and they would be like "oh well that's okay if you do formula..." all judgy...Thanks I KNOW it's okay to use formula, it's what's best for my baby and me, I don't need your approval.
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I think ppl are just curious, or maybe looking for support? I was the first on my husbands side of the family to bf and his whole extended family seemed quite interested in talking about it! I didn't take offence, but they also weren't being negative about my choice.
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Everyone at work asked, constantly. 'Are you still pumping?", "You're STILL pumping?!" "When are you going to stop pumping?"
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Allllllll the time up to a year. He's 15 months now and I still get asked occasionally if I did breastfeed. It's been a mix of judgy comments, curiosity, and questions about his sleep. I hated (and still hate) talking about it with anyone except close friends.
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@Anagram: yes! Everyone seems mystified that I am still pumping. The comments started around 4 mo and LO is 5.5 mo now...
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@Mrsjets: @travellingbee: @Grace: I guess I just don't understand why strangers would be curious about this? Family, friends, even casual acquaintances - okay, that's fine. I welcome it, even, because we had serious health issues before my milk came in that resulted in a NICU stay, and I don't think that issue is addressed often enough in breastfeeding education.
But I wouldn't ask someone I barely knew if they were cloth diapering, if they got an epidural, if they circumcised their son, etc. All are perfectly reasonable choices, but I don't think they are questions you would ask strangers out of the blue unless, as @blackbird: mentioned, they wanted to congratulate you (and often themselves) on making the "right" choice, or judge you openly or quietly for being "wrong." I find that attitude gross.
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57 comments