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@keepcalmcarrie: if a stranger I didn't Know walked up to me and ask me any question about myself for my child I think I would be weirded out. But if it came up in conversation with someone I just met with talking to your friends close or otherwise, our family, I wouldn't think it was strange at all. I'm sure Ive asked coworkers etc. not judging. Just curious. In the same way I might ask them if they are vegetarian.
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Man. Lots of typos there. Stupid talk to text. My point is, yes I would think it was weird if a stranger walked up and asked me anything other than the time! But with acquaintances or friends or family I would be happy to talk about it.
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@MenagerieMama: It was hard to avoid because the only fridge is in the teacher's lounge, so when I would have to go in there to put my bottles up (in an insulated bag of course!) the questions would stary....still pumping? How old is she now?
STFU. I think people were genuinely curious because no other teacher has pumped in recent years and we've had a loooottt of pregnancies. Most teachers can't get the time to pump if their conference period and schedule don't line up with pump times. I'm the school librarian and have a little more flexibility with the schedule, so I could make it work.
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All the time when DS was a baby. It was totally random people too. I was weirded out at first, but when I asked people why they want to know it turned out they have young kids or grandkids and are also in that stage. I remember being a new mom with no one to answer my questions, so I tried not to mind too much.
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I get asked occasionally by strangers (usually elderly women) but I don't mind. The question is typically followed by a story about their kids not judgement.
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@Anagram: yeah my problem is I don't actually get breaks so all my patients have to sit and wait for me (I work in urgent care) so I let my staff know so they know why my patients arent being seen and so they don't give me anyone super urgent. I also am supervising PAs and have to sign off on their meds so the nurse usually has to come in and get my signature while I pump. Thank goodness for my cover! It's a hassle. I basically have to announce to the whole clinic when I take my break! No privacy. I'm also the only mom of a baby (we have 2 other moms a month before and after my LO) who is "still" pumping so I'm a novelty I guess.
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@MenagerieMama: oh yeah, that's awkward. Good for you for persevering!
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@travellingbee: and others - you've made me think more about this, and I guess I was projecting my own feelings about this husband's best friend's aunt and my neighbor - who, it's true, aren't total strangers - on to people in general who ask this question.
I still think it's a little personal for casual conversation, but that's just me. But it doesn't mean those who ask it are all judgy. Just these two women I was thinking of when I wrote my initial comments
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I haven't really been asked this. I visited work today and a female colleague did actually ask but I've talked about pregnancy and birth with her before, so it didn't seem strange or invasive.
I get more annoyed when people ask why I don't just take bottles with me when we go out. It makes me feel defensive but I realise that people don't tend to know much about breastfeeding unless they or their partner have done it, or a close friend/relative. I sure knew nothing before I became pregnant! Sorry, off on a tangent...
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@keepcalmcarrie: I hope I didn't offend you, or anyone, I just didn't feel weird about this specific topic of conversation.
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@Mrsjets: No, not at all, I just started thinking more about it.
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When LO was younger, people would occasionally ask and say nice things when I told them I was. Now that she's past 12 months, most people just assume I am not anymore so no one says anything (I still am though). After reading this thread, I feel lucky to have had mostly positive interactions!
The most "judge-y" comments were mostly from family who wanted me to get off my elimination diet and give LO special formula when LO still had MSPI and other food issues. But I know they were mostly just concerned for both me and LO, so I'm not upset about it.
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@keepcalmcarrie: I don't know. I guess in my situation, I went from no strangers talking to me (I think I have a stay-away-from-me face) to everyone wanting to talk to me about LO. So I just consider asking about nursing as part of the package. In all honesty, I think they are desperately thinking of things to talk about so I don't leave the area and take the baby with me.
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Yes lots in the early months...most times it was just general curiosity asked with other baby related questions (is she STTN, is she smiling, etc). I didn't mind in that case at all.
One time though, a random lady came up to me in the grocery store and asked "Are you breastfeeding?? .... There's only one right answer to that question!!" I didn't feel like going into our complex EPing/supplementing story so I slightly smiled and nodded and tried to move on. She then pushed me : "that's FANTASTIC! How long are you planning on BFing for?" .... I was stunned and just stood there.... She jumped in with "I should hope at least a year....if not beyond....you know that's why they give you a year maternity leave!"
I was so stunned and offended. I honestly just pushed my cart away without saying a word....paid for my formula (LOL) and broke into tears in the parking lot.
I don't think I would let that scenario affect me so much now though, or with LO 2. I would give an education in formula feeding instead of being embarrassed.
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Wow, I can't believe so many people get asked this!
I can't recall a single time where I've been asked! -
@Charm54: gah that would make me so upset! I had a random lady ask me in the bathroom once, totally out of the blue, while I was washing my hands. So weird
Maybe this is one of tbose things that feels more weird if your experience is complicated, because I know mine was, and I wasn't about to delve into the whole "my child was in the nicu, wouldnt latch, EPing sucked" etc whole story shebang with people
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I think there is a difference in being open about breastfeeding among family/friends but I feel like it is a loaded question since people tend to be very opinionated. I haven't even given birth yet and both my BIL and step mom asked me if I planned to breastfeed on the day I announced I was pregnant. I told them that I hope to but honestly it made me feel pressured from the start. My own mother wasn't able to so I know that it might not be up to me.
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This happened to me a fair bit. The strangest time was in a coffee shop when a man (stranger) about 60 years old asked me if I breastfed my daughter. She was about 8 months at the time. I was inclined to ask him what he would've said if I had replied no after he praised me for BFing.
It's no one's business but yours how you feed your child, especially not strangers.
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