Hellobee Boards

We are going through a similar phase, and it's been especially intense, recently. Our kiddo has always been a social, outgoing ham, so this is new. I've had some family make comments about some of our parenting decisions (bed sharing, baby wearing) influencing her attachment. Of course, I know this is a normal stage in development, so I brush these comments off, politely.

Personally, I've decided to consistently respond to her reaching/crying for me, if I'm able. I've already gotten comments like, "if you leave the room, she'll eventually forget you're here." However, I'm not going to run and hide at social functions and I don't feel burdened if I have to hold her while snacking or chatting. I think this just comes down to other family members wanting to be the "favorite". It's interesting that it's offensive for a child's mother to be his/her preference, but some people do get bummed about it. I've already spoken to my husband about my intentions to calm our daughter's separation woes when we're visiting with friends or family, so he serves as a good support!

@Applesandbananas: I really don't know. We kind of have the same problem. It's not that he has a mommy's pref, it is more like, they want to be able to have 1 on 1 time with him. My MIL ALWAYS asks me to bring him over (without me). Even when I am there, she will just like take him upstairs for a bath, or take him into the play room and read to him. All very nice, and I am not offended, but it does get annoying when they all want alone time with LO and it feels like you're chopped liver;)

When LO was a newborn we visited the IL's and they tried to insist we leave him with them and go somewhere. They had recently moved so we knew nothing about the area and had no reason to leave. We just said no but that we could all go home if they wanted us to leave and we did go shortly after. They've never suggested that again. I think they thought they were being nice but it just struck us as weird.

@looch: I do the same.

I want LO to have a relationship with other family members, and the simple fact is that it's easier for him to warm up to someone if I'm not standing right there. Usually I leave the room for about 5 minutes and by the time I come back, he's warmed up and is happy to continue to interact with several people in the room, rather than just me. I don't think 5 minutes away from him is a big deal.

I would be honest with them-- "I look forward to the weekends when I can spend quality time with my child. I am not going to leave the room when he gets clingy. It is just a phase, and I am going to enjoy it while it lasts!"

Yes, but I don't mind!