I do!
We are currently planning a 4ish year gap. DD is currently 14 month and the older she gets the more I can't imagine starting all over again. Even though I know the longer spacing is more ideal for us financially and especially since I just went back to school, I just can't help but sometimes wonder if we should just go for it now!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
Yes!! We are supposed to talk once she is 18 months but I want to put it off more. And then I am wondering if we even need to have another, purely financially, even though it will break my heart to not have another.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
We are starting to try for #2, LO is 19 months, I think I'm happy with it, but some days I think "OH man what am I going to do with 2!?" but I think that is normal, and she wants a baby and will be good with it.
pineapple / 12234 posts
Not yet!! I love the 3 year age gap. I'm kind of questioning the 25 month age gap between #2 and #3 though.
grapefruit / 4649 posts
The first one isn't even born yet and this is a struggle already. I hope it gets clearer after she gets here...
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
Ours will be almost 3.5 years apart. Can't help but wonder if they shouldn't have been closer.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
DH wants the kiddos close in age and would love to start TTC this summer when DS turns 1. I think it's great in that since I'm struggling already, might as well continue instead of getting out of it then starting all over again. Then again, DS's nighttime sleep is terrible, and I'm hardly sleeping now. I'm scared to see how #2 will affect what little sleep I do get now!
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@Purpledaisy: we are in your exact situation. I question it sometimes, but honestly $5K per month daycare costs just isn't going to happen so there is no other option.
kiwi / 711 posts
Ours are 21 months apart and the first year I thought they were too close together (completely exhausting and my daughter didn't transition well at all) but as my daughter kept getting older and easier I wouldn't want to go back to the newborn stage again. I told my husband that if I saw the light at the end of the tunnel I was never going back! Now, I love love love having two close together. They play so well together and love each other so much.
persimmon / 1379 posts
Mine are about 26 months apart, and while it was hard initially, we have *finally* gotten into a good groove. They play well together (for the most part) but still do their own thing too. We'll see how it continues as life goes on!
cantaloupe / 6692 posts
We plan to start TTC when T is a year old. I definitely want to get the baby years over quickly...I can't imagine going 4 years or so and starting all over...but now that T is here I don't feel like that's enough time for just me and him.
pineapple / 12234 posts
@woodentulip: how old are they right now? I don't mean to thread jack but what was the most challenging part with that age gap?
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
We waited 18 months to TTC per my OB's guidance. Our age gap will be 2.5 years. I'm okay with the age gap. Our next gap will be smaller since I'm 35.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
#2 was kind of a surprise so I didn't get to obsess over it! LO 1 was 7 months old.
We haven't decided about spacing for a 3rd LO. There is always something that comes up that makes it a less than ideal time!
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
Not constantly but I do question it from time to time. Financially and practically, it makes sense to wait longer-- we just bought a 2 bedroom condo, live in the city with one car, so the longer we have just one the more time we have to save up for a bigger place, a second or a new car, etc. But I'm 33 now and don't want to wait TOO long and then have it be harder to get pregnant or to bounce back after. Then there are smaller considerations like I want a spring or summer baby again so I don't have a toddler and newborn inside all winter.
Overall though I kind of don't worry too much about it, which is really unlike me. We will probably reevaluate a little more seriously after her 1st birthday.
papaya / 10570 posts
Yes, I agonise over it daily. On one hand, I want them close together so they can play together and we can enjoy lovely trips to the park and the zoo as a family but then I remember the newborn days and really, really can't face doing it again so soon. Then I think that actually should I just get the pain out of the way all at once..... but then I remember my career and think that maybe we should wait..... AGH!
nectarine / 2973 posts
@Smurfette: I've also questioned if we should just stop at one but I know we would regret it.
@Cole: I was already stressing about this before I got pregnant and unfortunately I haven't found the decision any easier now!
@Danizaur: I also thought that we would start trying again when DD was one but after she was here I couldn't imagine dividing up my attention between her a newborn. She still seems like such a baby herself!!
pomegranate / 3845 posts
Yep. We are considering being one and done or having a 4 year age gap to avoid 2 in daycare and it's a frequent internal debate. My LO is 13m and in so many ways, it's gotten easier (no more pumping, he's usually a decent sleeper though we've had some challenging days recently, we have his medical issues sorted out, etc.)
Part of me feels like the further from infancy we get, the less I want to go back there. LO was a good baby but is starting to show signs of stubbornness and I think the combination of surviving terrible twos/threes plus being 3+ years from infancy might make me stop at one. Plus the financial benefits of one an done... It's on my mind a lot!
nectarine / 2973 posts
@autumnlove: I actually have thought that I really wouldn't mind a surprise, takes the pressure off of making the decision!
@Foodnerd81: We are in a similar boat! We have a two bedroom condo and the longer we wait the more we can save up for a bigger place. Even though I LOVE our condo it already feels a bit crowded with the three of us + our small dog.
pomegranate / 3601 posts
We wanted the kids close together but now that it happened rather quickly I second guess it. But then I think about my siblings and our relationships which are AWESOME (we're about 2yrs apart each) and I'm glad that they're going to be 21.5 apart.
nectarine / 2973 posts
@Applesandbananas: I feel you! 13-14 months has just been so easy! Even though she was a pretty easy baby from the beginning just not having to worry about pumping anymore has been huge. We are also starting to see some stubbornness and we are not impressed 
pomelo / 5720 posts
Our LO's will be 26 months apart and it feels like a good idea now but ask me again in 5 months 
I knew I wanted them relatively close together since we may want a third and I will be almost 34 when this baby arrives. I do have many moments where I wonder how DS will react and if we should've waited a little longer in between.
bananas / 9229 posts
When we started TTC, I wanted LO1 and LO2 to be 4-5 years apart in age. That was before I realized how long it was going to take for us to even get LO1. So the timeline in between is going to be much shorter now...
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@Applesandbananas: I'm the opposite- the further I get from the newborn days the more glad I am that we will have another baby (hopefully) and I will get to do this again. Mommy amnesia for sure.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Yes. I just hope it's "right" for us. And i'm sure it will be, no matter what happens. We're going to start TTC when E is about 16 months old.
honeydew / 7283 posts
I'm pregnant with #2 and I'm still second-guessing it! I'm really nervous about being able to handle two. They will be 26 months apart.
pomegranate / 3845 posts
@Foodnerd81: there are definitely some things I look forward to if we had a second. Those snuggles... I miss the cuddly newborn snuggles and nursing a newborn was so wonderful but I don't miss pumping, arguing with DH nonstop, no sleep, etc.
I feel like in a lot of ways a second would be easier just because we've been through it, we know the drill but I don't have enough mommy amnesia yet...
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
Yes! LO is only 8 months but she is the easiest she's been so far & I almost want to go ahead & try for another just to get all the hard stuff out of the way...The original plan is a 2 to 3 year spacing.
cantaloupe / 6687 posts
@HLK208: I am relieved whenever people tell me they love the 3 year age gap! 26 months sounds scary to me but you'll have B who will be quite a bit older and can help out with E and the newborn. And E just seems a lot more mature bc she has B as a role model. Hopefully it's an easy transition!
I knew I wanted as close to a 3 year gap as possible. Anything closer just seemed scary to me - I needed LO to be more independent and potty trained. But as we got close to a 3 year gap I worried about them being too far apart. When we had trouble getting pregnant the second time I often thought "when will I just give up...will I still be trying for another even if it means a 6 year gap"...fortunately I didn't have to make that decision. My kids will be 3 years and 3 weeks apart
pear / 1693 posts
For the longest time I wanted three years apart but recently changed my mind to two years. LO is not a great sleeper and I would rather not get used to sleeping again. But it's so hard to decide. I feel like there really is never the perfect time to have a baby, so we're just going to go for it!
grapefruit / 4817 posts
@HLK208: I'm glad to hear about the 3 year gap, as well. We still haven't made the call if we'll have another, but we're talking about it some. If we do, there will probably be a 3-4 year gap, which I'm ok with. And B and E seem so close to me, so that's encouraging.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I am very happy with our age gap. It was ideal for us and the girls are very good friends ... so far!
pear / 1517 posts
I had no worries when we started trying. Once i was pregnant I really second guessed the decision. Now that LO2 is here I think it's perfect. Our kids are 19 months apart.
pear / 1517 posts
I had no worries when we started trying. Once i was pregnant I really second guessed the decision. Now that LO2 is here I think it's perfect. Our kids are 19 months apart.
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