My 28 month old has been supremely clingy lately (last month or so, and it seems to only be getting worse), and specifically to me. She wants to be carried rather than walking, if I'm doing something she'll insist on being picked up, she won't do anything with her dad (except bath time, which has always been his thing with her) and constantly says "mommy's turn." This morning I tried to be proactive and encourage her to walk on her own and I would hold her hand (to no avail) and then I lost my patience and got frustrated and then felt like a jerk about it because clearly she seems to need something right now. There's nothing notable going on in our lives (everyone's home, schedules are normal, daycare is fine and she leaves us there without any issue) so I'm not sure what's causing it and I know it's temporary (she's had a few phases like these before but they seemed to have passed quickly) but I keep arguing with myself between discouraging it and just letting it be as much as is feasible. Just wondering what y'all do when your kiddos his these phases.
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As obnoxious as it can be, I embrace it as much as I can. They're only going to be this needy for a short period of time. I also think their emotional needs are just as important as physician, so if she's requesting more mommy time she must be going through something that she needs me to be there for.
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@catomd00: I do exactly this as well.
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I've always read to just wait it out, but I have been starting to just pick my three year old up or give her hugs but not carry her too long, and then also distract her with daddy. She has a huge huge mommy preference, and with lo2 almost here there are times she will need to be with daddy so I'm/were trying to gently encourage that too. By as far as being clingy to one of us, the only thing we don't do at this point is co sleep.
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No advice, just sympathy. My DD is almost 22 months and has been doing exactly the same thing for the past few weeks with no end in sight. She get herself right in front of me, stretch up her arms, and yell "up! UP!" Lately she's even gotten wise to me and will say "up! Up pease. UP PEEEASE!" Tantrums in our house happen for pretty much two reasons only: 1) she doesn't want to get dressed, and 2) I don't pick her up when she demands it. If I'm in the middle of something, I try to make her wait until I'm done, with mixed results -- sometimes she will stay calm-ish and just keep asking to be held, but usually it triggers a meltdown of epic proportions. And my DD is not one to have a tantrum, get it out of her system, and move on, unfortunately. She just keeps. on. going. I haven't figured out how to deal with either the clinginess or the tantrums, but something has to change because my body feels like I've been hit by a truck.
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No, I don't. If my son needs to be close, I let him.
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@PurplePeony: OMG! Yes with the please!!! DS recently learned to say please and normally I have to prompt him to say please. But when he wants to be held, and I tell him no, he automatically says peeesh! My heart.... lol
DS is 26 months and started wanting to be constantly held last week also. Looks like it's a phase thing. Wonder how long it'll last? I'm just so unproductive when he constantly wants to be held. Can't prep dinner!
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I don't discourage it, I figure they go through phases. My son is almost exactly the same age and often asks to be picked up. It's frustrating when they don't let you talk to someone else for example, but I've noticed in my kid it comes and goes.
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No, but for my own sanity and with LO2 coming very soon, I try to encourage equal opportunity clinging by giving my LO and her daddy a lot of alone time.
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@Mrs. Carrot: mine is 26 months and a serious clinger with a serious mommy preference. I don't discourage it because I have always read not to, since it's supposed to build them a strong foundation for their eventual independence. I don't know if that's true, but it's what I am hoping for, hahaha. When she's going through a really intense phase, I just feed us freezer meals or things that I put in the crockpot when she's napping.
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I don't discourage clinging, per se, but I do not reward whining about it. I'll ask him to use a calm voice and big boy words, but then I will absolutely hold him (though at nearly 3, I also expect him to be able to handle "when I'm done," or "in a few minutes.") He almost never whines now, and usually says "can I have up pease?" or "carry me please?" which is hard to resist
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@Jess1483: so cute! Your post reminded me that I too ask him not to whine, or I'll say I'll hold you when you're ready to stop yelling, etc. 2.5 years old is old enough to understand that!
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Yes we do the same- no whining but asking nicely. Even though my guy is 1.5 mo so that means he says "up up up".. Haha.
I think I do discourage it a bit though.. Instead of holding him I'll sit and read a few books snuggling or do a puzzle together.. Or just cuddle and mess around.. And usually that fills his cup and I get to leave to cook dinner or whatever while he plays. I know he's young but boy is heavy and I'm preggo so I am not holding him around! Lol!
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@Jess1483: yup, this. Although at 9 month pregnant, I will only hold him for a few minutes, or I will sit down and hold him.
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I discouraged it a lot during my pregnancy but I just deal with it now.
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I don't discourage it. Just isn't always feasible with the baby. I try to teach her to wait or tell her that I'll do X after Y. My back won't let me carry her all the time, so I have to say no to that often
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I don't discourage it, but I admit to getting frustrated at times if he's whining that I won't pick him up. I go through this about once a week when DH leaves/returns from a trip, and LO is super clingy to me.
I started adopting an idea from his teacher at the mom's morning out program he attends - during the day, if I read him a book, I encourage him to sit beside me, and if he wants to do puzzles or color, I encourage him to sit across from me, rather than in my lap. It teaches him to be slightly more independent.
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Mostly no. When I get annoyed I try to remember that in 10 years I probably won't be able to convince her to come out of her bedroom for dinner, let alone a hug
But it is definitely hard! My 16 mo old is going through a hardcore phase of clinginess and it is just hard to get anything done! The one thing that I am taking sort of a hard line about is not giving in to her demands for me when her dad is around. She loves hanging out with him (/on him lol) but she freaks. the. eff. out. if I leave the room still. Or if he tries to take her out of the room. She's happy to play with him but still wants me there. But like, I need a break. And also to do things sometimes. So we sort of just make her deal with me leaving when necessary (and her dad does try to calm her down, it just takes a while usually).
But it is definitely hard! My 16 mo old is going through a hardcore phase of clinginess and it is just hard to get anything done! 
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