Now that we have two kids, it's a real hardship to travel to birthday parties! Knowing that, I feel awful about asking my Manhattan friends to travel to Brooklyn for a birthday party. So much so that I'd almost prefer not to have a birthday party at all... or maybe just a small family-only event.
Do you guys ever feel guilty about asking your friends to travel to your LO's birthday?
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I asked them for the 1 year but did not invite them for my LO's party coming up. I just invited local peeps because yeah, I don't think it is important enough to invite people who live further away.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Nope. If they don't want to come, they don't have to.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@mrbee:
That is not far at all! My brothers and SIL travel all over the boroughs for birthday parties ALL the time!!! Often to Long Island as well! It's not a big deal! 
I thought you were talking about like interstate or something!
I agree with @artbee: . If they don't wanna they don't hafta!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@regberadaisy: er, if you live in manhattan - you DO NOT want to go to brooklyn....or anywhere else! haha. 
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
@Andrea: I get that, but I think id feel worse if I didn't invite people because I want them to know we like them. But I would tell them no gifts, I hate seeming like a gift grabber and don't want them to feel like they have to send something if they don't come.
That being said, I'm in a driving city so its easier to travel. And the only super far away person invited are our siblings. We drive an hour and a half for my nieces party every year.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@artbee: well, it depends who they are. my friends who live in manhattan don't have kids so i don't think they care too much about coming to a kid's bday. i was chatting to my friend who lives in jersey and she actually wants to come so i was like wow, sure ok! but she just had a baby so she is more interested in kids now. 
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
@Andrea: I loved going to kids birthdays before lo! Free food, you get to see them open presents, and you get to buy cute presents. I was so excited when I started dating my husband and he took me to the Disney store to help pick out a gift for his niece's 4th birthday. Like a kid in a candy store.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@artbee: yeah....not everyone is like that. this jersey friend of mine used to complain that kids' parties didn't all serve alcohol. LOL.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
EVeryone I invited was local (30 min drive at most). My mom and sister flew out from CA though. Felt bad that they had to travel so far, but they wanted to!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
@Andrea: hays that's so funny. I never drink, probably why o prefer kids parties.
@chopsuey119: I'm sure your mom and sister loved seeing your lo, especially for such a special event! The only person we're inviting who'd have to fly is my sister and her husband. But they'll be on their honeymoon 
persimmon / 1255 posts
Nope, I invite them anyways with a little P.S. that I know it may be too far for them to come but that I wanted to extend the invitation anyways in case they felt like it. You never know, I've traveled two hours to attend parties, sometimes because it coincided with something else that was in that area.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@mrbee:
Yup, they do. It's no biggie to them to drive an hour + to go to a bday party. Their friends/family do the same for them.
If you don't have a car there's always zipcar rental now!
In fact for my nieces birthday parties the hour before and after are huge coordination ordeals. Not everyone has a car so there a lot of carpooling droppig off happening. Often my brother will drop off his in laws in Manhattan after the party. Without traffic about an hr RT.
They've driven 2hrs into LI before for bday/parties. They spend a lot of time in their car! It would drive my husband crazy but my fam is used to it.
@Andrea:
My SILs and brothers all work in manhattan and live in Quuens & Staten Island so they go back and forth daily anyway. It's no biggie to them just another part of city life.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Hmmm, I feel bad all the time about showers and get togethers! But I figure they wont go if they don't want to!
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
@regberadaisy: Yah, we use Zipcar. It's interesting to hear you describe life in New York with cars! My experience without a car has been very different.
Anyway I don't think we're going to throw big parties for our kids. What we'll probably do is have individual friends over one at a time, so we can get more time with each group of friends. To me, that feels more respectful of their time... and we can always have a small private birthday cake at home with just mom and dad.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@mrbee: that sounds wonderful as well! I don't think there's a wrong or right way. my brother/SIL are much more of the big get together type so their way works out well for them. It's bit much for me honestly but my niece always has a blast with all the kids there!
My brothers have had a car since they were 18 so it's very much a part of their life. Also they live 15 minutes outside of Flushing so it's much more convenient and time efficient for them to drive rather than take the 7 all the way to the end and then take the bus. My other brother lives in SI and he does take the express bus for work. But on the weekends with kids they drive.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@regberadaisy: i was joking around but i do know a lot of people who don't travel. but even when i lived in manhattan we had a car and went all over so maybe it's just people that i know. if it were family, then i would always invite them and hope that they come. but friends don't always want to do that, especially if they do not have kids themselves...yet!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Andrea:
Bad friends!
If you were my friend I would travel to your LO's bday party even if I lived in Westchester!
grapefruit / 4681 posts
I asked my college friend who lives between 2-3 hours away to come knowing that she most likely wont do to the distance and the day of the week the party is on. She was going to try and make it, but she has a test the following day and needs to study...I totally understand that and am not upset or feel guilty for inviting her. She was actually my only friend to visit DS right after I had him, dispite the distance so inviting her was a given.
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