This is me today. Actually, this was me yesterday and, subsequently, DH has come down with norovirus. I'm so tired and I'm all out of mummy empathy. DD is sick too and the only reason I'm seeing to her is because her constant crying is waking DH up.
I'm exhausted. I'm running completely on empty.
Where do you find the empathy when you're just bled dry??
......
kiwi / 542 posts
The only reason you're tending to your sick crying child is because she's waking your husband..? Not sure I follow...
Sometimes it's tough, but our babies didn't ask to be born, we asked for them. Now it's our privilege to care for them.
Noro is highly contagious, can you husband go and stay with his parents to mitigate the risk to you and your child?
Hope they get well soon.
cherry / 220 posts
when i am utterly exhausted it can be very difficult. Two month old and three year old take turns waking me all night. When DH is sick he is basically on his own. He has the luxury of being able to stay in bed. When baby is crying and toddler is whining I have occasionally needed to take a time out and splash some cold water on my face and take some slow deep breaths and remind myself that my children will not be little and need me so much for very long and one day I will miss that terribly. When you have little to give I would focus on your daughter. Sending DH to his parents is a great idea if that's an option. Or could your mom come help?
watermelon / 14206 posts
I'm at the tail end of food poisoning. This weekend has consisted of me nursing M then handing him off to DH to be burped and rocked. But once I felt a little better last night, I caught up on my M snuggles. Sometimes you just have to survive first!
eggplant / 11716 posts
@Cherrybee: aww. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and make it through. We had a period of major illness in our house a month or two ago and it was awful- both LO and I had a 2-3 week long wet cough/sinus infection nightmare. Then my husband got it. Then I got stomach flu. No one was getting any sleep and I really didn't know how I would survive being so sick with no sleep.
But... Here I am. You'll make it through! Ignore the hubs- he 'a an adult... And focus on your babe. If all else fails, put LO in daycare and call in sick and sleep.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
If I was all out of empathy I'd try put myself in your LO's position to imagine how she feels... She's poorly, she wants her mummy, she's probably sad and miserable like we all are when we're sick.. If you really need a break I agree with pps about asking your mum or ILs to come over but honestly, I would try have DH stay somewhere else or you and E go somewhere else, Norovirus is insanely contagious, my LO caught it from someone who had had it à whole week before we saw her and ended up in the ER she was so sick. I'm sorry you're having such à tough time and I hope everyone feels better soon.
bananas / 9227 posts
I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. I hope it passes soon! DD's recovering from a stomach bug and has finally been able to keep something down. I feel like we're finally able to crawl out of our hole. It'll pass.
nectarine / 2272 posts
I agree that your DH should be on his own because your child needs your attention. Can he go stay somewhere so that no one else gets norovirus?
papaya / 10570 posts
Update. I did the sensible thing, grabbed E and turned up on my inlaws' doorstep saying I wasn't coping very well today. My MIL saw to E while I gathered myself...... it had just got too much.
My DH can't stay at his parents because they look after E while I am working - we need them to be well to take care of her, especially since there's a chance I could some down with this too. And FWIW, MY mum is part of my problem today (long story but she has been creating a lot of drama this weekend and I have been running around after her since Friday).
@sea_bass: I don't need a lecture about how my baby didn't ask to be born. I know she's my responsibility and no, of course her waking DH wasn't the only reason I was seeing to her.... I was just being over dramatic I guess. I was just all out.
@travelgirl1: That helps. Thank you. It's hard when there's nothing you can do for them - you forget that you don't have to fix it, you just have to be there.
I'm just exhausted. But I've got a bit of help today from my MIL, which has enabled me to recharge enough to see a way through. Thanks to everyone who replied with helpful, kind words.
coconut / 8279 posts
A couple weeks ago, I had a particularly bad day. I'm leaving my job (well, they're moving and leaving me, so it's not by choice), I'm so stressed I can't sleep. I solo parent pretty much every night since DH and I work opposite schedules. One of our pets got sick and I had to tell the vet to put him down. My husband was hysterical over it and I just couldn't. Of course I was sad about it but there was so much going on, I was emotionally tapped.
(((hugs)))
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
I'm really glad you went to your MIL's and were able to get some. Sometimes we just hit points where we have nothing left to give.Time to call in the calvary! you did the right thing
eggplant / 11824 posts
Glad it worked out and you were able to get some help! No matter how loved and wanted our children are; some days you only can give so much, and you only have so much to give.
When I'm feeling just bled dry, sometimes sitting by myself in a quiet place for even just a few minutes really helps. If that doesn't work, I reach out for help.
honeydew / 7916 posts
Glad you were able to get a reprieve. Hope tomorrow is a better day! 
pomegranate / 3845 posts
@Cherrybee: aww, hugs. I hope things have gotten better for you. We all have those days, even if we want to pretend we don't. I never admit it outside of HB, but some days, I run on empty as well. This too shall pass, at least that's what I keep telling myself!
papaya / 10570 posts
@Applesandbananas: Thanks. I was actually just re-reading the more supportive replies on this thread, getting a booster! Its just gone midnight here and I've just settled DD back to sleep.... again... and retreated back to my makeshift bed in the back bedroom (Im sleeping in there to reduce risk of transferring germs from DH to E). Things have to get better soon, right?!
grapefruit / 4291 posts
@Cherrybee: I get it, sometimes you just get to that point where your cup is empty and what you really need is somebody to take care of you! It can be very draining being responsible for the health and wellbeing of somebody else and I imagine it's even tougher you with your DH's health issues.
Hang in there Cherrybee and sending you lots of virtual hugs and support!!
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
@Cherrybee: glad you got some help. I really think you did the right thing. Sometimes we just need help, no shame in that. That's what a support system is for. And anyone who hasn't (yet) been totally on empty can thank their lucky stars for that because it sucks.
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