Lately I have been feeling so in love with Charlie and Olive... but it has actually made things harder in a lot of ways. That's because somehow it has triggered this fear of loss... that something will happen and the kids will be sick or worse, and I would just be smashed to bits.

The other night I was putting Charlie down and I just felt really strongly for a moment that something might happen to him (soon? someday? no idea.). So I gave him a big hug and told him that I loved him so much, and told him that no matter what we would be best friends forever. And he said, "Of course, my daddy!"

He had no idea what was on my mind, but I guess it was what I needed to hear. Still though, whenever we are outdoors I am always worried about his safety. I worry when he's running ahead of me that he will just keep running and plow into traffic... or if he's climbing up on the couch, I worry that he will fall backwards and hit the back of his head on the train table.

The thing is, I'm not a worrier at all (although I'm very cautious in ways, so that may be part of why I don't worry). Still though, I'm thinking about "worst case" scenarios a lot more than I'm used to. I can't really let my guard down in the mornings, because Olive has been climbing up on things more and I worry that she will seriously hurt herself. We can't really do any more childproofing either, unless we just throw out our couch.

Do you ever worry about what-if scenarios where your child is injured or dies?