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I do feel like I have some balance BUT my kids are older - if they were still toddlers it would be much harder!

Only when LO is sleeping decently. If she's not then I am too tired to do anything. And I only feel like I have balance because DH helps out so much.

Yes, but only because we have a housecleaner, we have our son in camp 3 hours a day during the week, my mother is our before and after care, we eat dinner there twice during the work week, my husband and I are on the same work schedule.

We outsource a lot and we rely on our village.

I feel like we are starting to get it under control. Our grass is so long and needs to be cut, ghe floors are messy but I am learning to just shrug it off and get to it when I can. I am also trying to tell my husband what he needs to be doing to help out. He is finally figuring it out. The balance is about fair right now.

Yes, I feel in-balance right now. But it's not a 50-50 balance and it's only recently that I feel this way.

Things that help:
Having a house cleaner.
Having a nanny, and especially one who is super organized, neat, and willing to take on more responsibilities when I need help.
Packing lunches the night before - and putting leftovers away as individual portions.
Having a stocked freezer and - alternatively - having a number of good take out menus on hand.
Getting to the gym on the regular.
Wine.
Forcing flexibility in my job - my life runs *much* more smoothly when I work from home 1-2x/week.

Nope. DH works A LOT and as a result I do 90% of child care...it's summer now but during the school year I do drop off/pick up/bedtime. Work should slow down starting next week or so and I can't wait to have him around more. When he isn't working, its 50/50 but that isn't often.

We will have a conversation about him doing daycare drop off once school starts back. It's time.

No.... but I know both DH and I feel like we are doing "Everything". He manages all the house stuff (we just moved so there has been a lot), bills, mortgage, finances, etc. I basically do all the domestic work now - groceries, cooking, laundry. He does dishes. He takes her in the mornings solo and I take her in the evenings. Weekends we try to share duty.

FWIW, my house is always a disaster because that's the lowest on my priority list. We have a cleaning lady who comes once/month and it's not enough - things are GROSS by the time she arrives. But I don't care because the gym is always more important to me than a dirty toilet

Yes, for the most part we do. We both work full time, we both juggle E's morning routine tasks while getting ready, we both do the daycare run (me Mon-Weds and DH Thurs-Fri), we both both do housework (DH laundry and the odd bit here and there, me everything else and the odd bit of laundry!) and we both both do the bedtime routine (I run the bath, DH does the bath while I iron/out laundry away/change LO's sheets, then we do drying/dressing together). Whichever tasks we do of a day, we get up at the same time every morning and sit down at the same time every evening, basically!

That said, for the last few weeks, DH has been working a lot more and that is tough. I get overwhelmed and resentful very easily when I'm responsible for all childcare and housework because DH is working constantly. Then, although it's technically balanced, I can't keep on top of everything!

Working out is just not on my radar! I clean my toilet daily, though!

@grizz: seriously get a cleaner. It is 100% worth cutting down on something else if you have too. I love every other Friday coming home to a clean house and clean sheets, makes my day!

@Smurfette: I know it's probably regional, but how much do you pay for a cleaner? None of the websites I visit give prices. hmph.

@Smurfette: aaah! Thanks. We have similar sq footage. I might look into that.

@.twist.: We have a similar house - 3 levels, about 1800 sq ft, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths. We pay $100 every other week for a team of two women. It's a company - friends who hire an individual pay about $75 for the same set up.

My gut reaction is no. Lo is 6 weeks old and I'm home alone with her all day. I also end up caring for her mostly alone nights and weekends, and I always do overnights alone. Dh does take her for 1-2 hrs in the morning so I can pump and shower, and sometimes sleep an extra hour if we have time for that. I also do most if the dishes and laundry and tidying up. So I sort of feel like I'm doing everything (not really bc my husband is unhelpful but bc he is gone a lot). But on the other hand, he works full time and I'm unemployed right now. So I feel like I really should be responsible for most if the home stuff and child care. But it's hard for me to accept that bc I've always had a job so we have always spilt home stuff more evenly.

@grizz: and @.twist.: No joke, having a cleaning service is a must-have in my marriage. Both my husband and I are neat freaks, but neither of us likes to clean... so yeah. There are *way* more stupid arguments and blame-gaming going on when we don't have a house cleaner. Much cheaper than marriage counseling.

@.twist.:@Smurfette: I just found a cleaning service in our 'burb that charges $80 bi-weekly. Going to have a talk with DH about it tonight. He actually does a lot more cleaning than I do, but I hate that we spend our weekends cleaning instead of doing stuff as a family sometimes. Plus they'd probably do a way better job than me...I tend to half-ass it!

@Smurfette: my cleaning lady sucks. I wish she changed our sheets ugh.