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So let me get this straight, if you have two wage earners, the one who is making more $ should be doing less household chores?

Right now, I make less, but I do more chores, lol.

lol.. i've never heard of that! it doesn't seem right to me.

perhaps doing a few more chores if your *hours* of work are less (regardless of pay) might make some kind of logical sense, but dividing it up based on amt of pay sounds pretty sad to me

Lol. No, I don't think so unless someone is homemaker. I think chores should be split based on desire, ability, and convenience.

I don't think income should come into play...perhaps if one person is working more hours than the other, the one working less hours does more chores...But if two people are working equal hours with equal effort, the chores should be equal too, regardless of money. It's not like the person making more money is paying the person making less to do chores!

No. I think if the person making more money becomes busier and works longer hours, then the other person should pick up the slack. But i don't think it should be related to how much money he/she makes.

I definitely think the amount of money you make shouldn't factor into the chores, but maybe the amount of time you work should. Like if one person works full time and one works part time, maybe the part time person should be doing a little more around the house, because presumably they have a little more time to do it? But if you're both working full-time, you should be splitting the chores equally (or in whatever way makes sense for your family). Money shouldn't factor into it.

@mrbee: You are more modern than me! I don't really believe anything in life is split equally, at least not in my house! But I am okay with it, it's not something I can really move the needle on in any significant way, you know what I mean?

Well, yes and no actually. I think if one spouse is working a more demanding job that requires a higher level of stress and longer hours to earn more $ (or even the same or less $) then maybe that person should be given a little break on household chores.

I've always had better hours and less stress at my job than DH does, even though up until a few months ago I was actually making more $ than him. Because of this I naturally pick up more tasks during the week to lighten his load since I get home usually 1-2 hours before him at night. It didn't matter to me at all that I was making more $ it was more about our work/home balance required to succeed at our jobs - which he clearly has done!

No way! More money does not mean you're working harder so I don't think it's relevant to who should do more chores. We both spend the same number of hours at work, we both work hard, we do the same amount of work at home. Now I say this as the person who will probably always earn less just because of the nature of our fields, but I would feel the same way if things were reversed. On the other hand, if my DH worked 50 hours a week and I worked 30, I would definitely want to take on more of the housework. But that would have nothing to do with how much we were making.

No. We do equal work around the house, no matter what we make. Now, if one of us stayed home, I would guess that person would spend more time on household chores than the other but they would have more time to do so.

We both leave the house and arrive home around the same time each day so it's not like either of us are in the house more than the other. This is the weirdest thing I have ever heard of when it comes to splitting up household chores....

Oooh, contentious issue here. One of the biggest mistakes I made when DH (though at the time, fiance) and I moved in together was taking on the majority of the household work, as I was in law school and DH was helping support me. I felt like it was my way of contributing to the household because I wasn't bringing in any income. Fast-forward to after I graduated and found a job, which paid about half of what he was making, and I still ended up doing most everything. And now that we moved for a job that makes him much happier but pays less than his old job, and I found a job that pays more than my previous one, we're still not totally even income-wise but are reasonably close. And I work 40 hours per week plus a 40-minute commute in the afternoon (it's less than half that in the morning due to traffic patterns) while he works about 25 hours with a somewhat shorter commute, and I STILL do about 85% of the housework.

If I could do it over again, I NEVER would have let him get used to me doing more around the house. It's like he doesn't even have a clue that things need to be done (hello, see that ring around the tub? It's nasty and it's not going away on its own...) and if he does see stuff, he "doesn't know how" to clean it and needs me to show him. It's like he has a total lack of common sense when it comes to anything house-related. It would have been so much easier to create reasonable long-term expectations back before we were married, much harder to change them after the fact.

Ugh. Sorry for the rant, but I get so annoyed with both myself and him when I think of this...

@PurplePeony: I'm pretty sure we're married to the same man. When DH and I first moved in together I thought it was fun to play the housewife. That got old REAL quick, but he never forgot it and never learned how to do anything. DH does absolutely nothing inside of our home (not exaggerating, at all) and it has caused some serious resentment issues. We both work 40 hours a week and work at the same place, so no one has a longer commute. Uhg.

I think that since DH brings in actual income from his job and has a work outside the home job, whereas my job is a SAHM , I should do more of the chores, especially because doing chores kind of falls under the SAHM umbrella, IMO. Now, I don't necessarily think it's fair that that means that I do most of the chores ALL The time (nights, weekends, vacations, etc). but that's generally how it is

We both work hard although i make more, split chores although he does much more outside than I do (he likes to mow the grass etc) and we have a cleaning lady to help out every other week because we do both work hard.

@PurplePeony: @MrsTiz: Out of curiosity, do you ladies ask your husbands to help out and they just don't? I know my husband can't see the mildew stains in the toilet (no, he literally CAN see them, he just doesn't care), but if I ask him to clean them, he will. The first time I asked, I DID have to show him how to do it, but now he knows and can do it. He doesn't take initiative, but will definitely do it if asked.

@Adira: I ask him literally every day. I used to be vague so it was more like "Uhg, the house is disgusting. We really need to do dishes" while I was cooking and he never took the hint. Now I say "Will you do the dishes?" he says "I will later" and never does. It probably angers me more than it should but he just.doesn't.care. It's carried over into me getting mad at him for little things now because of his pure lack of help and even worse, lack of acknowledgement for all I do.

I've tried to ask him directly, yell at him, hint at it, ignore it and see if he'll do it on his own when it gets nasty/messy, and now i'm just back to doing it myself.

@MrsTiz: Ugh, that sucks! I'm sorry he's not more helpful. This would drive me BONKERS. Maybe you should start serving his food on a dirty plate and be all "You said you were going to do the dishes, remember? It's not my fault these are still dirty." I wish I had some advice! *hug*

@Adira: I've tried the "I can't cook dinner tonight because I don't have any dishes to cook in"...it doesn't work.