Hellobee Boards

Your description of the pancake made me laugh out loud! I only speak up when it’s something important, otherwise I let him do his thing. He does the same with me. We both have set things we’re typically responsible for, so things don’t usually come up. The way I load the dishwasher is a running joke in our house though, because my DH always thinks I should be able to fit more, and I think he loads it too full so dishes don’t get completely clean. No pancakes have been left on the dishes though!

We both took the chores we hate the least or don't mind doing, so there isn't much room for me to talk... But Lord have mercy, when my husband loads the dishwasher it's like he only wants to fit 4 things; dude, I know you're good at Tetris because you play it all the time

The pancake thing really made me lol.

I almost never do, mostly because he does the things I hate (yard work, trash, cleaning the floors, ironing). I feel like I can’t criticize when I don’t have any interest in doing those things myself.

Only occasionally. But he’s sensitive to criticism too and probably thinks I nag all the time. If only he knew how much I see and say nothing...

I rarely criticize, unless it's a safety issue or if a chore he has promised to do isn't getting done at all... but if he loaded a pancake into the dishwasher he would not hear the end of it, because I would find it hilarious

The quickest way to make a job yours in our household is to be too particular about how the other person is accomplishing it. Since I have no desire to take on all the chores, I try to bite my tongue and only comment in extreme situations.

A pancake though... that would get brought up for years around here

A pancake? That would definitely be cause to say something! That's kind of hilarious but also a little concerning.

I'm definitely the more particular one especially regarding clutter. He won't notice what I do, or he'll say it's that I want things done my way but in my opinion if the clutter isn't gone then it's not about not cleaning up my way, it's just not cleaned at all. I guess I'm just really not shy about saying something..but most of the time I do the cleaning and household stuff anyway.

@Hypatia: My dh went years without washing clothes except maybe once or twice his own clothes, because I had complained that he shrunk some of my clothes in the dryer. He only started again helping out in the last month. I thought I had it bad!

With chores, I genuinely try not to make comments because that is not encouraging and who knows what the back story is. I really only think about this because nothing makes me more irate than when DH walks in from working late, I've been busting my butt to take care of the kids, cook dinner, clean up, etc. and he makes a comment about the counters being sticky or the house being messy.... SO yeah, do unto others!

I really tryto have my litmus test be “could someone get hurt/ could this damage/ ruin something” buttttttttt I have a lot higher standards for things so it's hard. DH reminds me that there is only so much he can change, so I try to focus on things that really drive me crazy. That means I take over some things I want done a certain way, or accept that if he does the dishes I may end up rewashing 15% of them. The pancake would fall under the “thats not ok because it would eventually ruin the dishwasher or require us to repair it sooner” but otherwise I’d probably just rearrange it or let it run not full and let it go.