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I often feel the same way, but I don't think it strains our relationship. I got spoiled because DH took a year off work the first year we got married, so he did way more than his fair share. Now that we both work full time, I still feel like he does more though.

What I did this winter was buy a bobsweep (robot vacuum). It was something DH always did because I hate doing it. So at least that's one chore he doesn't have to do anymore.

I'm the kind of person that saves things up until they have to be done (or on the weekend). DH works restaurant hours so he's home during the day a lot and will go ahead and do things. there's not a ton left by the weekend, but I try to do what I can (dishes, laundry, etc) so at least there's less for him to do when I'm home.

there are certain things that either of us has said "I will do that all the time"

like taking out the garbage for him, or ironing or dusting for me.

I used to have grad school as an "excuse", but soon I need to start doing more since I'll finish in may.

i'm the one in the relationship who does more. and i think my husband would probably agree with your view that i sometimes create more stress for myself! there was a period where the imbalance created a real strain. three things really helped: (1) hiring a cleaning person; (2) more importantly, just accepting that our priorities/abilities/perceptions are different; and (3) this is a biggie also--he acknowledges/appreciates that i do more, and doesn't raise a fuss when i ask him to do something.

keeping the house in a somewhat orderly state is more important to me and i'm better at it, so i've accepted that i'll do more. however, he better be sure to appreciate me because otherwise i'll hit the roof. and sometimes i still break down, but overall it's been much better.

I do more, but DH works more so I try not to be a complete b--- about it... but there are days that I can't help but "keep score" (especially when I'm exhausted.) I know he appreciates it but I definitely would like a day off sometimes!

We do have a cleaning person come in one time per month to do a deep clean and that makes me happy!

@Freckles: I feel the same way...a small recognition that the clothes don't wash themselves and get into the drawers nicely folded goes a long way for me!

I am also in the camp where I have to give my husband specific directions. Even if the laundry bin is overflowing, he will not do anything about it UNLESS I specifically ask him to put the dark clothes in the laundry.