E is teething and has had a few bad nights now. DH and I are both sleep deprived and we're both crabby people when we're tired. E woke up for like the 6th time around 4am and we started arguing about who was going to get up and who needed sleep more. We both feel like we get up more than the other person, but I have the boobs and I'm positive I really do get up more, since there are nights he doesn't get up at all. He argues that he still wakes up when I get up with E...Ummm, that's nice, but that doesn't count. We are not our best selves in the middle of those long nights. We know we can't take it out on E, so we snap at each other. Tell me we're not the only ones...
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This is probably our biggest arguments. The best thing I can suggest is have a plan before you go to bed. This way you have agreed to things before you are woken up at 2 am.
As her sleep has progressed our "rules" have changed. It used to be that I got up and fed her (because i had the milk) but if she woke up again before 2 hours since her last feeding he got up. Also, if she got up within an hour of my wake up time he got up for a while.
Now, we pretty much take turns because she doesn't eat at night.
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@Thehistoryofus: We used to have a plan, that I would get up with E before his night feeding and then DH would get up with him after that. I fell into the "it's just easier if I do it" trap though, since I wake up to the monitor and DH is still snoozing away. He asked me what I wanted for valentine's the other day and my response was 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep... the same thing I wanted for Christmas.
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yup. i caught myself quickly though. I was up all night with her (she's really congested) and I was awake when DH's alarm went off. He checked his email and said, "you have to see this house!" and I bit his head off that I didn't care.
haha I felt terrible. but I was so overwhelmed because I was sitting in bed with her and she was sobbing and snorting.
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Bee did most of Charlie's wakeups for a long time. These days, we split up the kids so if one kid is having a bad night... then that parent suffers.
Once Olive weans, we'll come up with a new system for splitting up wakeups!
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We don't fight about wakeups (i just do them because I have the boobs) but we used to fight when trying to get her down. He was always analysing why it wasn't working and saying we were doi everything wrong and I was super offended because I was working my ass off at trying to be a good mum and mid meltdown was NOT the time to criticise me, lol. We don't do that anymore though, we're much more supportive of each other.
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We get snippy with each other. Last night during one of her wakeups (she cut 3 teeth at once and she's in agony, waking screaming and even screaming after she's been asleep in my arms for 10 mins straight) he couldn't get her to stop crying, so I went in and he said "she's spoiled now, she knows we're gonna come get her." I got so mad!!! If she's spoiled, then why is she still screaming when you're holding her??? He even went on and said "she stops crying the second we pick her up." Um hello, you've been holding her for 5 mins and she's still screaming bloody murder.
Yea. so we get snippy with each other. Haha.
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@sorrycharlie: Oh yes, the completely oblivious comments in the mornings. I'm gone for work by the time he gets up in the morning (he takes care of getting LO off to daycare) so luckily we bypass those most of the time.
We need to make a plan again. It just seems like as soon as we get a routine going E will switch up his schedule on us and we have to start all over.
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@mrs. wagon: We get snippy too!
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I try not to get grouchy with him when LO's being fussy, but it's hard! When he wakes up all rested and I've had about 2 hours of sleep, I don't feel very charitable. Sunday was his day to be the lead parent and she was pretty fussy (gas) and when he put her down DH told me that he felt like he got a glimpse into what I go through. He's been much more helpful since then!
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Oh yes! We are very grouchy towards each other.
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We usually do. I'm not sure how we didn't argue last night, and that was the roughest night we've had with DD in a very long time. I think we were just concerned with why DD was so upset.
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I can't even remember with DD1. With DD2, I've just been doing it myself. It just seems easier that way instead of involving another person. I'm on maternity leave, though, so this will change if she is still waking up so many times when I'm back to work.
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Yes! I get pretty snippy because since I have the boobs all the feeding falls on me - which then results in me getting LO to sleep since dh is pretty impatient and gives up far too easily. I give him the evils when I'm awake at night with LO and he's snoring.
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