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@MsLipGloss: I enjoy a good discussion! Most people in the thread have been raising interesting points in a civil manner. You've raised good points but I don't think you've been very civil about it. I don't have the full backstory on what went down between you guys in the past though, so I'm not passing judgment.
I actually really enjoy your posts usually, so have mostly just been confused. Hope things are ok over there.
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@mrbee: My posts haven't been civil because I called someone out? (And because I called you out?) Wow. Nothing--that I can think of--has gone down between @Loveisstrange: and myself, except for what has been exchanged in this thread. But to imply that something is wrong with me/in my life - that is so far over the line, albeit passive-aggressively so.
But I get it. *Civility* above Honesty. Check.
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@MsLipGloss: girl, you know i love you, and i usually don't speak up on posts like this. but your two responses to @loveisstrange: saying she wsn't a liar, WAS snarky/condescending, not just honestly calling her out. and just to clarify, her original response said that she USED To get worked up and she doesn't anymore. not that she never did... so I don't get where she is lying any way.
This was a bad thread topic. I'm not surprised it went sideways.
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@mrsjyw: There are other examples, the most recent I can think of (and link to) is from 8 weeks ago. If that's *used to*, well, then color me wrong.
But don't--as a poster (not you specifically)--come on here and talk out of both sides of your mouth. It's ridiculous.
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This whole thread was very poke-the-bear to begin with, considering it was posted immediately after a member's self-admitted overreaction and sensitivity to a topic. Then again, I am not a fan of those types of spin-offs
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: "Communication is 51% how the message is received".
I totally agree with you. We can't be so defensive about our message that we refuse to hold ourselves accountable for our tone. If someone takes my comments wrong, there's a very high chance that I made an error in my delivery.
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Aaaand this is why I'm rarely on HB anymore.
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@blackbird: I agree (no surprise there).
It's VERY poor form on internet message boards to drag business from one thread to another and I am very careful about that.
I felt very embarrassed to see this thread created, but I got over it.
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@MsLipGloss: I don't see it as an either/or. I try to be honest and civil. One of the reasons I've enjoyed your posts is that you call them like you see them. We have a number of truthtellers on the site, and I think it really adds a lot to the site.
I just meant your posts have been uncharacteristic lately. But you're right that I called you out in my last post. But I don't think it was passive aggressive. It was pretty aggressive, by my standards. But I'm Japanese-American, so there's an inherent politeness that I find it hard to shake when I'm mediating a situation. Plus I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. If there really is no backstory though, then I think you overreacted in this thread.
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@mrsjyw: But I do agree that my tone was condescending . . . I probably could have soft pedaled that better--much better, in fact--but considering the *gauntlet* that was thrown at my feet, I didn't.
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Call me naive, but I wasn't expecting this thread to go the way it has. I thought HB has a policy about not attacking users personally. This is why I'm here. Every other site is free for all with insults flying everywhere. Maybe it's just the nature of boards in general ...
http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hellobees-community-policies
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@mrsjyw: @MsLipGloss: @looch: @blackbird:
Sorry guys, you are right. I shouldn't have created this thread. My apologies...
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@mrbee: Any *overreaction* is directly related to the attempt to use birth trauma as some impenetrable shield that absolves someone of their behavior. I take that very personally. There are so many women who have been through similar situations--or much, much worse--and none of them (here on HB) use their birth trauma in such a way. It's not a tool to be used for leverage. That cheapens it for all of us.
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@mrbee: it's okay, it's public domain.
Thanks for your apology though, means a lot.
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Yes, there are definitely threads that get me worked up.
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@mrbee: To be fair, it goes both ways, i.e., I shouldn't have expected everyone to be honest. That was an unrealistic expectation.
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@mrbee: no apology needed!
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@MsLipGloss: this *is* the internet, after all.
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@mediagirl: An excellent point, indeed!
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@mrbee: honestly, as someone who missed what seems to be drama from another thread, this seemed like a pretty tame thread to start with.
I never would call someone a liar because of what they said here. I have no idea the tone they are presenting in any of their posts even if they seem upset. I know this because in past forums I made a habit of being a bitch just to get people pissed off and riled up. That person who seems upset could be sitting at their computer laughing. I know I used to... Haha
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@MsLipGloss: like I said before, honesty with civility is one of the core principles behind the site. Honesty without civility is something you can find on lots of other sites.
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@mrbee: please don't close the thread...let's just clarify and simmer down right here.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I haven't closed a thread in a very long time!
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@mrbee: ok, great...cuz that's what gets me riled up on here lol
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: haha when is the statue of limitations on that one thread of yours I closed gonna expire! Hope one day you'll forgive me for closing that thread!
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@MsLipGloss: huh?? Why would anyone need to be absolved of either a. Getting worked up or b. not agreeing with you over whether they got worked up? I probably should just stay out of it but I am not sure how @loveisstrange got thrown into the middle of the road. I know she can handle herself but wanted to at least voice some discomfort with the way this thread turned!
In response to the original question, I do get worked up over particular threads just like I would a conversation in real life. I'm not ashamed of that! I don't think anything has ever kept me up t night though.
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@scg00387: Nobody needs to be absolved for getting worked up. And certainly not because they disagree with me. That's not what I said. And @Loveisstrange: directed her comments to me (first).
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@scg00387: @loveisstrange took something I said, that @MsLipGloss agreed with and took it upon herself to tell us we were calling her out. Both of our original statements were very vague and not pointed at anyone directly. MrsLipGloss even went as far as adding notable exceptions! See page 2.
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I don't get worked up but I definitely get annoyed...which is probably why I rarely post.
I kind of love the way this thread turned even though I avidly avoid drama. Sometimes I feel like people do need to be called out...especially when they use absolute terms like "never" and "always."
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@mediagirl: I should have been equally called out then, since I made a similar comment.
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@.twist.: I don't think you did. And I also can't remember you getting *worked up* in a thread.
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@.twist.: she replied directly, you didn't.
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omg. yall. this is so stupid.
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I remember getting really upset one time. It's been a while, but it was a comment on a thread about IF that said something like we should stop overreacting about our situations. I think the person who said it was a new user and didn't come back after that comment.
I will admit to getting annoyed every now and then too.
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@coacheswife123: Agreed.
@mrbee: You need one of those emoticons for tiptoeing out of a thread.
Best thing about this thread is that it is better than reading my morning gossip sites over breakfast. Some of y'all crack me up! Pure entertainment.
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This thread is hilarious. I can think of multiple people on this thread who have claimed to not get worked up who have been obviously worked up in the past. I'm not sure when it became so "cool" to claim you let everything you see and read roll off your back that people feel the need to lie about it. And the "eye rolling" at first world problems is just absurd. THIS WHOLE SITE IS A LIST OF FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS and every one of you who claims to have "eye rolled" has posted about first world problems. We all have. That's what we do. We're not here to solve the problems of the world.
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Wowza. I would say that I don't really get particularly worked up, but I'm scared to.
I sometimes think something in a thread is annoying, but I rarely to never post if I'm irritated. I just sign off and go do something else for a while, like snuggle my babies and get some perspective. I love a good debate, but prefer them in person. @mrsjazz: I think a tiptoeing out of a thread smiley would by hysterical.
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whoa, i was going to post yesterday that i mostly get annoyed, read the whole thread and follow ups, but don't post as it gets me more involved and more annoyed... but i guess that's me getting worked up. and then i find myself here a day later even more worked up! haven't felt like this in a loooong time here on HB though.
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@coacheswife123: yup.
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@MamaMoose:
dude, yes. so much YES.This site is so we can complain about first world problems. Hello, which brand of sleep sack should you get is hardly a legit problem!
I don't get MAD at threads, I get mad at certain users. I really really don't like a few posters here so I don't respond to them even though I have plenty to say to them/about their thread topics. But at the end of the day, it's just the internet!
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