Hellobee Boards

I'll try to be kind in this response but it's sometimes hard to hold back. My cousin's wife quit her job due to "stress" and collected unemployment for 2 years. She is capable of working and chooses not too making up any excuse possible, her current one is back pain due to giving labor 10 months ago. My cousin bust his butt to provide for his family and all she does is complains that 1) there isn't enough money 2) she never sees her husband.

It makes me irate to the point I can't talk to her more than a polite Hi, otherwise I may unleash my feelings when it's not necessarily my place.

I was unemployed for 8 months, and actively searched for work for the whole time. I did really love being home every day though. My house had never been cleaner, my dog had never been calmer, and I lost 40 lbs because I could focus on my health. But I needed that paycheck!

ETA: Just so I don't sound like a government mooch, I applied to over 75 jobs in those 8 months, and I worked part time as well.

@MamaMoose: Ditto to everything you said.

People who won’t go to work (or at least look for work) because they don't want to work, and put additional financial burdens on their partners piss me off.

@MamaMoose: I'm with you... I couldn't be with a guy that didn't work.

I also have a SIL that can't hold a job, she now "works" 6 hrs a week at minimum wage... so basically she just makes enough to pay her gas to/from work... I don't understand it!

I don't feel a lot of rage about this particular issue because both of my parents have been through periods where they did not work and did not look for work.

My mom has been on disability (for mental problems) since I was a young child, and has not worked a regular job ever since. She could work part-time if she wanted, but she doesn't want to.

My dad was unemployed for about 2 years recently and did not actively seek to become gainfully employed. My mom was sick with cancer at the time, and he wanted to be available to take her to doctor's appointments and things like that.

So, my parents have been in this scenario, and I don't think any less of them for it.

I have a friend like this. He graduated with his bachelor's and was never able to get a full-time job. He worked a couple part-time jobs, but they never lasted very long. He's now working to get his master's, but he's only taking about one class a semester (if that) and he doesn't even get straight A's! He's now been, essentially, mooching off my best friend for FIVE YEARS.

Supposedly he tried very hard for a couple years to find a job and went on a ton of interviews, but nothing ever really panned out. I suspect he's given up looking (although I don't know for sure). I stopped talking to them about it, because every time I did, I would get sooooooo mad at him! He doesn't work, he doesn't clean the house, he doesn't do well in the ONE class he takes a semester! Essentially, he doesn't do anything productive!!!

I try not to judge because my friend married him (after supporting him for three years), so she must not mind too much. But this would drive me CRAZY!

It took my husband six months to find a job after we graduate college, but when he wasn't working, he was cleaning our apartment, making dinner every night, AND often making me breakfast in the morning! So he was still very productive and contributed towards our home!

It would be one thing to not try to find another job right away for a reason-- like what people said about staying home with kids for the summer, or when people take that time to really re-evaluate what they want to do, explore going back to school, etc. It's another thing to just not bother when you can't afford that at all, like OP's friend. That's just incredibly selfish.

I do have to say, H and I just had a conversation where we said that if I was laid off, with severance and unemployment, it would actually be kind of good for us in some ways-- I'm planning to take time off once we have kids, so this would just get ball rolling. BUT-- I'm not hoping to get laid off!

I know some people who act like they arent really looking but in reality they are looking very hard but hate discussing how much rejection is out there.

I quit my job due to health reasons long before my lo came. Dh said not to look for a job until after our wedding so I wouldn't have to worry about starting a job and taking vacation right away for the honeymoon. Then we decided we wanted to ttc right after the wedding and we were both pretty terrified of what my migraines would do if I got pregnant so it made more sense not to work. Which was the best decision ever, they were awful and I wouldn't have survived a job.

For the most part I was happy not working. I usually was able to keep very busy, and I only got bored when I had week long migraines and was forced to lay on the couch all day.

I had issues with certain friends judging me and it really pissed me off. They thought I was just making excuses. Meanwhile I had been friends with these girls my whole life, they know me and my migraines, and it really hurt that they thought of me like that. It came out later it was more of a jealousy issue.