I have.
My rules for myself are:
Never to ask for it back, after the initial convo that it is a gift and approximately when it will be returned,
Only lend what I can afford to gift or put another way never get back.
Maintain the relationship as-is despite the situation.
I have been asked twice to do this and was able to help. The friend and family member paid me back!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
I never have...but we really don't have much to give away. I guess if someone needed $20 we could spare that. No one has asked!
persimmon / 1341 posts
Nope. Lending money is a terrible way to ruin a relationship. Even if it's given as a gift I think the relationship changes because the giver is constantly judging the other person's choices (ex: they had to borrow money to pay their bills but then went on a trip, bought xyz, or did such and such). It's just not a good situation to be in.
There are very, very few people and circumstances which I would make an exception for.
ETA: If someone forgot their wallet and needs $10 to buy lunch, that's a different story and I have no problem doing that but I view it as a gift and if I happen to get paid back, great. If not, oh well.
pomegranate / 3521 posts
Yes.. it changed the relationships that I had with those people. We are still on good terms but it happened so many times that I felt they were starting to take advantage and feel entitled. They were very quick to ask all of the time but would always put off paying me back when they said they would/ wouldn't call..etc. I have told these people that I will no longer lend them money as I felt it was changing our relationship. It worked.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
My good friend was in the middle of buying his house and then totaled his car in accident. He needed money specifically for his car- new registration/tags/insurance. His savings were already earmarked for his home. Before he even closed on his house he paid me back. He really just needed a bit of float. That was a great experience.
I get totally annoyed when people need to bum a few dollars- coffee, lunch, parking because that stuff never gets paid back. Thank goodness that doesn't happen often.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
I have but I'm cautious doing it now because I've been burned pretty bad.
coconut / 8483 posts
We haven't and I'm not sure if we would. The only people we'd consider lending to are people that would probably never need the money. I have a friend that I worry might ask, but I know she can't pay me back, and DH would def not want to lend her the money. He thinks she needs a job! Can't say I disagree..
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