DH and I have been at odds over this for a few days now....I prefer them not to be.
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only the first week we were home with lo. she would bring baby to me to nurse. but other than that, no one goes in our master. and i don't feel comfortable in other people's master.
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She barges in when I'm nursing because she needs to make sure her granddaughter is getting enough to eat. I should lock the door because I don't want her in my room!
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Hmmm no. And I don't think they'd be comfortable coming in, either.
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If they need something, I don't care if they go in at all (assuming I'm not doing something in a state of undress). I guess for me, the room itself is not at all private, but I might be in it doing something private, in which case they would need to wait.
We love in a 2 bedroom condo, so if the other room is occupied and they needed to change or shower in our room, I'd be the first to suggest it.
My in laws are nice, so I wouldn't treat them any differently from my mom.
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No way!
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I'd be okay with my mom or ILs if I've left the door open and they're bringing me something while I'm resting with LO.
However, @autumnlove:, you have the patience of a saint. I'd be getting a lock or a shock prod....who does that?!
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I had to ask the ILs to babysit unexpectedly this week and they decided to bathe baby in the bathroom we use for showering, had to go through our bedroom to get to it. I think we had (sorry TMI) sex paraphernalia in the bedroom and the bathroom was a mess; we had baby's party this weekend so I haven't cleaned it because I've been so busy. I'm not mad at them because I appreciate them stepping up to watch LO but it made me very uncomfortable. I can't seem to get over it and DH thinks I'm being overly sensitive!
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@Anagram: do you worry about what they would see, like dirty clothes or sexy time items or medications etc? It skeezes me out! I don't like having to censor my bedroom when they watch LO. For the record we are sleeping in the guest room and using the guest room bathroom because our master is downstairs but the nursery is upstairs. But we still use the closets in the master bath and store toiletries there, so really both full-sized bathrooms I would prefer to be private, but we do have a powder room I try to keep in tip top shape for day guests. For overnight guests I clean up the upstairs bathroom and we sleep in the master.
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I hate it, but my mil comes in our room. At this time, I'm letting her because she helps me take care of the kids and helps clean up the house, but once she no longer does, it's off limits.
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@tequiero21: do you have to clean up stuff all the time? Like, keep a tidy clothes hamper etc? I worry that she will judge the cleanliness of my sink, etc! Lol!
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Too late. I'm pretty sure she knows I'm just not a tidy person, especially with twins! Haha. And um, we have cleaners who come every other week. I'm trying! Just a lifetime of not so tidy, u know? Hard to change ways.
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@tequiero21: glad I'm not the only one! Our problem is inappropriate stuffs, like tubes of it? Lol! I just don't think to put that stuff away. And I feel like I am married and shouldn't have to until my kids get old enough to ask questions.
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@autumnlove: bahahahahahahahahahah
Mine stands at the door and peers inside saying, "I just wanted to know what the baby is doing..."
I was usually nursing. Now she doesn't anymore but I wouldn't really care if she did. She is smart enough to knock and ask. -
@autumnlove: lol
They've seen it when they toured the house after we bought it but I wouldn't feel comfortable with them coming in there any other time.
Although, after E was born, DH's grand parents kept coming in to see her in the master when I was feeding her which was super uncomfortable. They couldn't wait a fifteen minutes?!
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nooooo! no one goes in our bedroom! it's our messy paradise!!
I thought it would be pretty common courtesy to not go into someone else's room?!
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I think I would still tidy up in the sense of tossing clothes in the hamper and putting the tubes of whatever away before anyone came over, just in case. And I would say generally, master is off limits, but when it's a new place I expect people to want to see it on a tour. Right now my mil is staying with us, in the nursery/guest room, and we have a make shift baby area set up in our master, so it doesn't feel private plus I'm 4 weeks pp so def no sexy time anyway.
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Eww, no! MIL has barged in a few times and I hate it. It would feel extra creepy if I wasn't home!
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I don't see why not as long as I'm not naked... But I can't think of any reason they would need to go in.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: I guess I don't have any private medications and we tend to keep sexy time stuff in a drawer, so no one would ever see it unless they were really going through all of our stuff and neither of our sets of parents are like that (thank goodness!). I guess I don't care about the master bedroom/bathroom because my ILs and own mom are really good about not overstepping their boundaries, so it's easier to be open with them. I also grew up as 1 of 6 kids, so I'm basically used to having no privacy.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: oh...and also (lightbulb moment), our parents all live in other states, so they can't just drop in. But when they come to visit, it tends to be for longer... And I definitely know they are coming and clean accordingly.
But the amount of in laws in this thread who barge in when people are nursing boggles my mind!!! Glad my DH has parents who would be just as embarrassed to SEE my boobs as I would be to have them see it. There's no way they would enter if there's even the slightest chance my shirt was off or pulled down.
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I don't "let" them in there, but MIL just takes it upon herself to go in as she pleases. She has no concept of boundaries even when you lay them out for her.
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After the one-time house tour our room is off limits.
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i prefer them not to. i don't even want my parents in there. one time my mom went in to grab the baby monitor to look at LO and i was a little taken aback.
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No but my MIL does anyway. There have been times when she's at our house babysitting and when DD is sleeping, she'll come into our bedroom and move things around, put things where SHE thinks they should go (which means opening up drawers and such) and pretty much snoops around.
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@Penny Lane: I agree!
No visiting my bedroom and I close other doors as needed ( the not so tidy thing @tequiero21:
)
My purse is another thing nobody better touch, not even my husband- mama needs at least an illusion of privacy and autonomy, you know? -
I don't like it, but my MIL just goes in there without asking and snoops!
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No. Not at all.
They went in when we moved in and if I leave the door open they look in there, so I keep the door shut if they're over.
I can't stand anyone in my bedroom, that is a major invasion of privacy to me. It's not a common area, it's our private space.
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I don't know what they would need to do in there, but if they need to, they could go.
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No, i don't like anybody else in there if I can help it!
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Not regularly, but I don't mind if they have a good reason to be in there.
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My MIL will often go ask to use our restroom if she's over and the other one is occupied. It doesn't bother me too much because we don't leave a ton of stuff out and she's not judgy about cleanliness.
My mom was up during my maternity leave and she felt a bit odd being in my master bedroom helping me clean out my closet.
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I wouldn't care if they had a reason, but no they've never been in there since we first showed them the house (when it was empty) before we moved in. My mom has been in there because she cleans for us when DS is napping sometimes (she's our primary care)
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When we have company we leave our Master bedroom door open for people to put coats/purses/ect. on the bed. We also only have one other bathroom so we have the bathroom available for guest if needed as well. I don't think this is weird.
When I was home on maternity leave I would shut the door if I needed privacy and MIL and my mom both understood what a shut door meant and respected that.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: NO. Once while visiting, my MIL made our bed because it *bothered her* that it was unmade (I leave first, so DH is usually still in bed, and he doesn't make it when he gets up). I almost came unglued (for reasons that aren't important for this thread!) and had DH tell her that that could never happen again. Or there would be severe consequences.
@autumnlove: WTF?! Oh Haaaillls Naw! That is just so damn disrespectful!
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I don't mind. We've let them use our master bathroom before and my MIL has helped me hang things on the wall in there.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: I have the same problem with it as you - I don't want to have to worry about if we had bras or condoms or whatever within sight. Not just my ILs, but my parents too. And I'll be honest, it's the room I tend to cram stuff in if we're having company over and there's clutter I need to get rid of! So no, definitely not.
@MsLipGloss: Oh man, I would have flipped out too! Shortly after moving in with my DH (although back then he was just my BF)my MIL stopped by when we weren't home and decided to do our laundry to help - yeah, I had the same reaction as you did to the bed making. I do not want her handling my underwear!
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She likes to come in while I'm nursing and mostly undressed. It's one of our many issues. She is most unwelcome in our room. Unfortunately closed doors don't stop her and our lock is broken.
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@wonderstruck: My mom did the same thing to me while I was at the hospital in labor . . . she was appalled that every last piece of laundry wasn't washed already . . . even though it was an UNPLANNED induction at 38 weeks?! I *still* haven't found everything that she washed . . . I was royally pissed when I found out. I confronted her about it too and told her it was totally out of bounds!
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I've not had them come up other then when I was in bed after a surgery.. but that was with permission. Our master is off on the other side of the house and upstairs, so coming in wouldn't make sense other then to visit.
I would hope they wouldn't make unannounced visits or barge in! What a nightmare! My room is a mess haha
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