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@Freckles: yeah, I think it totally depends on the kids which is why I said I'd have to wait and see. I've had friends whose parents helped a lot financially and they were responsible with that help, worked hard, made straight a's, etc.

And I've had friends whose parents paid for everything, who partied all the time and acted like school was a joke--I had a friend who dropped her classes a week after the semester started our second year, so she could take the refund without her parents knowing-and she pretended to go to college while just partying with that money. She *still*to this day lives off them, financially, and we are now 34! I love her, and we are still in touch, but I feel like her parents enabled her very bad behavior.

My husband's parents helped him somewhat with college--but not in the typical american way of just writing a check. My husband lived WITH his dad in an apartment in my DH's college town. And they both worked any job they could get to help pay DH's tuition (my husband worked at Mcdonald's, 7-11, a maintenance crew cleaning office buildings). No job was too "lowly" and I think that gave him a good work ethic.

I just wonder if I'll be really myopic about my own LOs when they get to that age. You know? So many parents don't really have a clue what their kids are really like/what they are up to. I'd like to think I will be more in tune with LO than that.

I would like to contribute enough for college so they get through undergrad debt free. That really depends on them picking a reasonable school that we can afford as well, so it may just be a portion depending on where they go. We will contribute to weddings as much as we can but again won't go bankrupt if their desires are not within our means. That's as far as I'm planning on.

They are always welcome to live at home if the need arises.

Definitely college and hopefully grad school as well. I'd love to pay for a wedding and I would loan them money for the down payment of a house.

We will contribute to college. As of now, our state pays for most of college if they maintain a high GPA, so hopefully will have enough in there for undergrad and grad school. We also want to give a lump sum for the wedding (my husband's parents did this and it paid for our fabulous honeymoon!). Beyond that neither of us expected nor received anything from our parents and don't expect we will provide further either.

Basically, we will do as much as we can, when and where that's the best choice for our child.

I want to give her everything. But financially we won't be able to, and that may not be the best choice for her. I can't pretend to know what the future holds.

College for sure. Grad school - it depends on what and their need for it. Wedding - we will contribute but don't want our children to grow up thinking "mom and dad are paying for the wedding." I personally think they should save for their own wedding and have one that is within their means.