Hellobee Boards

I did marry my best friend's brother. Our parents have been really good friends for 25+ years. I've known my ILs since I was 7 and spent my childhood at their house. My BFF is my SIL, both sides spend holidays together, travel together, and everyone gets along so well. It's pretty awesome

I totally have spouses picked out for my kids haha. Parents can dream!

No. I find that kind of joking really gross.

I've never really thought about it, to be honest. I'm sure there would be positives and negatives, and my fear for the kids would be that they'd feel their relationship wasn't completely their own, as others were so invested in it.

No way! I have no desire to bring that kind of potential craziness into my friendships.

@lady baltimore: yeah, this.

Nope. But I've had friends say that about DD... like "ohhhh.. DS, this is your future wife".. I'm like excuse me?? DD will choose her own DH someday and I highly doubt it'll be someone we know. But if it is then ok, just weird to say about 2 yo's.

No, I had a friend who used to constantly 'joke' about this with my LO and her daughter - I used to smile and inwardly cringe. I want my son to have a big life and to me at least that means travel, living in different places, having lots of experiences and meeting lots of people and the value of doing that on one's own terms, by themselves. I would be really disappointed tbh if LO got married young to someone he's known forever - I know that this is based off my personal life experience though.

I'd love it if my son married my BFF's daughter. But they're 3 and 2 years old. Who knows who they'll be when they're ready to get married? Who knows if D will be gay? Or if she won't want to get married? Or if they'll even know each other. I mean, we joke about it now (meaning my friend and I, not me and the kids), but it's not something I'd ever push on them. They'll marry (or not marry) who they want to - male, female, whoever.

@lady baltimore: Just curious, what's gross about it?

A good friend and I joke about it but it is 100% joking. I actually would rather not be in-laws with such a good friend - could get dicey!

@lady baltimore: I can understand that. Thanks for explaining!

@lady baltimore: I agree with you. There is someone I grew up with who I think my mom always hoped I would end up with. We were friends during high school and then we got into a sort of awkward disagreement during our senior year. Prior to that my mom LOVED the fact that our families would hang out a lot, and our falling out ended that for her. At one point she told me that she and the other mom could not understand why I couldn't forgive him, which was a complete mischaracterization of what happened. It pissed me off that she was being so self-centered about something that affected me just as much if not more than it did her. Your comments about agency are spot on.

I was about to go to college anyway, and to be honest my social life in high school was already awful before this happened. So while it was uncomfortable I just figured I'd wait it out and move on and not look back.

My mom is still really good friends with his parents and thinks nothing of giving me casual updates about him, and I always wish she would just drop it. We are not going to be one big happy family. It's been 20 years. We are both married and have kids and do not talk to each other. I would not give him a second thought if my mom didn't keep bringing it up.

So, like you, I bristle at those sorts of comments and find them creepy, not funny.