I have always had a long term view of friendship... when I feel close to someone, I will still feel close to them even if we don't talk for a long time.

I was reminded a few years ago that not everyone feels this way a few years ago. I had become close to this one friend when our mutual friend committed suicide. We spoke pretty regularly after that, and definitely became good friends. Over time we didn't talk as much, but I still considered her a good friend and invited her to my wedding.

Then a few years later, she got married and didn't invite me. When we spoke a few months before her wedding, she blurted out that we hadn't spoken in a year or two so she had to cut me from her wedding list. That's fine with me and I totally understood it... but it did make me realize that she and I see friendships very differently.

I tend to view friendship as a lifelong thing... sometimes you may get busy or drift apart, but when you see each other again it's like no time has passed at all. I will do almost anything for my friends, and vice versa. I consider myself a very loyal friend.

She sees friendship as more of a living thing... if you don't prioritize a friendship when you're busy, it means that the friendship isn't worth that much to you. If you don't see or talk to each other for a while, then the friendship has died.

Neither approach is better or worse... they're just different. After I got off the phone with her though, I realized that I no longer felt close to her. I stopped making an effort, and we never spoke again.

Do you still feel close to friends if you haven't talked to them recently?