Morbid topic but inspired from Mamaof2's post...
We talk about this ALL the time. DH has previously suffered a loss of a spouse, so I always told him I rather him die first so he never has to live without me. Of course, it would be so cute if we died together, but that rarely happens!
GOLD / pomegranate / 3938 posts
@snowjewelz: DH and I want to die together, too! In our old age while sleeping.
squash / 13208 posts
My DH insists he will live longer - although he is 10 years OLDER than me!
I hope we are both OLD and have seen our grandkids before we die
pomelo / 5129 posts
Part of the reason I want kids is because men in DH's family haven't had the longest lives and I don't want to be left alone.
How morbid is that??
But his father lived 10 years longer than his grandfather, so we're counting on DH making it into his 60s.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@Mamaof2: Me too. I think grand kids are not a far stretch, but not too many can wait for great grand kids!
cantaloupe / 6800 posts
@MaryM: goodness!
I selfishly hope I go first. I don't want to deal with him being gone, LO missing him, dealing with the assets, grief, etc. Nope nope nope.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@MaryM: That was def a factor in us deciding to have more kids; so there will be more family around in case one of us die earlier!
pomelo / 5129 posts
Granted, I think we are so open about talking about death since we lost our fathers within 18 months of each other right before we got engaged.
So a lot of our decision making at that time was definitely influenced by a strong desire to not want to die alone (not that either of us were settling...but we'd dated for 8 years. It was about damn time!).
apricot / 363 posts
@snowjewelz: My husband's first wife also died. He probably will die first. We do talk about it a lot (or at least I bring it up). Either way, we'd both be really sad. I think for the same reasons you mentioned above, I'd prefer he die first, so he doesn't have to suffer for a second time.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@derevival: Never thought I'd meet another bee w/ similar circumstance! Yeah, knowing what he had gone through I would never ever want that for him a second time 
persimmon / 1171 posts
@MrsTiz: +1
I think I could handle things (raising our kids and funeral arrangements as well as final testing place...blah, blah) better than him but I don't care. I want to go first.
pomegranate / 3244 posts
He should probably go first, as terrible as that sounds. I just feel like I am better equipped to deal with grief and all that jazz, and I'm the more knowledgeable one when it comes to dealing with assets, making plans, etc. I'm afraid things would just turn into a giant mess were I to go first.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
Um, I cry even thinking about this. So no, we haven't really talked about it.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@MediaNaranja: Yeah... When DH lost his first wife (this is of course from his recounting... I didn't know him then), she was the one that took care of that stuff too so he didn't really know what to do and thing were messy. Now, I'm the one that takes care of the finances too, and I feel like even if I was heartbroken, I'd still want to straighten out all these things
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@wonderstruck: Aww sorry to make you cry!! It is a very morbid post
papaya / 10343 posts
We don't seriously talk about it, but I've sort of joked about it before. I told him (before we'd decided to have kids) that he had to give me kids because guys always die first and I don't want to be lonely in my elderly years. He told me that by the time he dies there will be robot companions that will be fabulous company and I worry too much lol. I don't want to think about the topic seriously, I don't want to live without him but I don't want him to live without me either. But I also wouldn't want our kids to deal with the loss of both of us at once. There is no good answer so I'm going to bury my head in the sand about this inevitability.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
We've talked about it. I think I'll die first. Longevity doesn't run in my family while it does run in his. Also I have a lot more mental health problems!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@Mrs. Bee: It's interesting b/c I never compared the longevity between mine and his families and used it as a factor!
nectarine / 2115 posts
DH is under strict instructions to let me die first. But really, there is no good answer. I don't want to live without him, and I don't want him to have to live without me. 
Maybe we will manage to die in our sleep together in about 50 or 60 years... 
pomelo / 5607 posts
I tell DH fairly frequently that I'll be very mad at him if he dies first. Usually when I've heard about someone losing a spouse or it happens on tv or something. Emotionally he's just more resilient and I think he'd handle it better. I'd just fall apart. He generally agrees, so while he doesn't want me to die, he's okay with me going first so he doesn't worry about how I'll handle it afterwards. Now if only we actually had some control over that...
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@Torchwood: Seriously! I don't know what I would do if I have to die first
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
I told him the only thing I will agree to is dying together when we're really old. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it! 
nectarine / 2115 posts
@snowjewelz: yes, preferably while holding hands. That's not too much to ask... right?
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
We decided that i have to die first. I have a harder time dealing with loss.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
DH says he is going to die first. He is older than me so that is realistic. It won't be for a really long time though!
grapefruit / 4235 posts
I just hope i die before I get Alzheimer's. But DH is 2 years younger than me so I joke all the time that we'll die at the same time.
pomegranate / 3411 posts
i've told DH that we will die together like in the Notebook. He didn't object.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@dagret: Dude... DH is always saying that he hopes he doesn't get Alzheimers because he doesn't want to forget me Ahh it's too sad
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Ffor selfish reason I want to go first, however he's 7 years older + the men in his family don't live long so most likely he will go first. All I can pray is we both live into our old ages and get to see our great grandchildren. I just lost mine at age 29 and I was so blessed to have my GeeGee in my life for so long, and for my daughter to meet her.
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